to think there is an inverse relationship between how little money people have and how much they are willing to spend on presents for their children

[Twiglett]

am truly gobsmacked at some of the things that people I know are buying for their children

truly and utterly, spoilt bastard, gobsmacked

why spend that much money? why?

I agree, does it make you a better parent? No, does it make them love you more? No. Does it give them a disproportionate view of what they deserve in life? Yes, does it raise their expectations to unsustainable levels resulting in a life time of resentment and dissappointment? Possibly not but you get my drift.

My MIL overheard someone complaining at his local housing office about his benefits he receives from the social and yet 5 minutes earlier, he was telling his mate he had just bought his DC a bike for £600

£600 for a bike! Is it gold plated!

£50 maximum total spend per child in our house for christmas

I've noticed this in rl, sometimes the people who have the least money seem to spend the most on prezzies, and not just for their dcs. I think it's to do with putting on a good show and not wanting to be seen to be broke.

that is per OUR children .. other people's kids get £5

they are small

they have more pleasure out of a bag of marbles than a super-de-duper all singing-dancing remote controlled whatever bollocks

agree totally with carmenere's cycle of doom

What makes you think that it's an inverse relationship though Twig? You don't mention this in your OP.

what kind of things have you heard people talking about Twig?

whoah - that is a lot for a bike for a child. I'd say that would be a lot for a bike for a grown up too....

I will get slated I am sure for this but in RL as well it seems to me that the people with least money also spend most on cigarettes, sky, household gadgets etc etc. Christmas presents must be an extension of that

My DP was shocked about this the other day, he popped out somewhere to pick up some essentials and overheard a woman moaning about how she was skint and in debt because she had had to buy her DD a ds lite, and ipod and a ps3

WHY BOTHER???

And why did she have to???

I spend about £50-£80 on the DC's xmas presents and then another £20 on their stockings, and we won't be in debt after xmas because we can afford it.

I don't understand getting into debt for ridiculous overspending personally, and what on earth is that woman going to buy her DD next year? or for her birthday?

we're comfortable, if we budget, we spend £50

people I know on benefits are talking about £100's

Yes maybe putting on a good show but it can also be due to confusing giving your children things = loving them. This can be due to emotional insecurity (i.e. the parents feeling emotionally insecure) So the more you spend is a way of demonstrating how much you love your children.

This can have the sad effect of the children demanding more and not understanding the value of money. Also if the parents are in debt due to funding all this the children learn that this is the way to do things. I find it very sad.

we are skint and as a result dd's crimbo pressies have cost me £30 quid and shock horror im using last years leftover paper and cards and decs/tree so its not everyone so please dont paint us all the same!

do NOT get me started on people buying Wii's

yes they really realy need it for christmas at the over-inflated prices you're getting them for

it's a marketing con .. give it a few months .. half the price .. and then you can have an unbirthday present which is far more fun IMHO

Message withdrawn

I think last year they were about £160 .. god knows what inflated price they are now going for due to the fab marketing trick of making out there's a shortage by phased delivieries of short stock numbers

play the game and be an eejit IMO

i am on benefits, my kids ave nothing from me for xmas, i was planning on giving them the clothes id brought 2nd hand throughout the year but they needed them.

dont tar us all with the same brush!

Bloody hell! Poor people buying expensive things..... shocking! Make them eat gruel and give their kids's peg dolls for christmas Uppity poor people getting above their station!

Whilst I agree that 600 smackers is a lot for a bike I really don't see why it bothers anyone that much. I think that the increasing extent of materialism and the worship of labels is a bad thing generally but I think it's a bad thing whether you are poor or rolling in money.

I agree twig, DD wanted a DS, and DP and I quite like the look of it too, so we've said we'll wait til we see one in the sale after xmas and buy one for everyone, rather than for xmas.

FWIW, My parents always went on about how little money they had, I remember having to eat birds nest (mashed potato with a fried egg on top) for tea because they were so skint, yet they both smoked heavily, and my stepdad was constantly buying new things for his motorbike, everything from expensive cleaning cloths to new leathers.

stockingfiller I too am using last year's cards (as tags) and various recycled gift bags and paper.

You are so right - NOT everyone is the same

of ffs this isn't an on benefits thread .. I was pointing out that the people I happen to know who happen to be on benefits and hence I can assume have less disposable income than we do are spending way more than we would ever imagine

I am not tarring anyone

I am saying that less money seems to = bigger more expensive presents

hmmm - my parents were pretty poor when we grew up. We didn't get stuff during the year and only small birthday presents. Clothes were from charity shops BUT they did spend big time on us at christmas. I guess it was the one time of year they didn't want to scrimp.

Now I have my own family and we are relatively comfortable I'm quite against spending huge amounts on xmas but that's because ds gets things during the year from our many relatives and he gets quite big presents from grandparents at b/days/xmas (have posted a ranty thread about that)

not sure where i'm going with this point

ormirian .. because poor people do not have the money to spend on stuff that is not necessary .. hence the adjective poor

are you seriously telling me that a child needs a £600 bike?

Yep- I think it may a misguided desire to compensate for not being able to afford things like trips, new clothes, etc the rest of the year. I grew up in such an environment.

In my own family, we are now comfortably off, not too much, not too little money, so our children hardly get anything for Christmas from us- maybe a few books and some new pens. Every year we do Christmas boxes for other less fortunate children in the world. I hope it makes them realise how fortunate they are. I hope it does not give a misguided feeling of superiority.

fwiw, my children are not the kind of children who demand the "right" type of trainers (although middle child, 12, is hinting half heartedly at an iPod she knows we'll never get her). But then they can afford not to be the same as everyone else. This is a frame of mind that comes from not being nervous about your place in society. In all respects they are extremely fortunate to be able not to give a damn what people think of them.

Which brings me full circle to why people spend a large amount on their children at Christmas.

agree twig

our two are getting about £60 each on presents from us.

They ARE getting a Wii however, with money from both their grandparents and DH was saving up for one anyway so he has put the rest towards it.

We spend £10 each on our 4 nieces and £5 on a few other friends' children.

The adults on both side of the family do a £10 secret santa thing. More fun guessing who bought for you!

I remember when we were little, my parents were skint but we always seemed to get LOADS for Christmas. However, talking to my mum, a lot of that was second hand or bought in the sales the previous year or from the catalogue.