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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think there is an inverse relationship between how little money people have and how much they are willing to spend on presents for their children

667 replies

Twiglett · 05/12/2007 12:20

am truly gobsmacked at some of the things that people I know are buying for their children

truly and utterly, spoilt bastard, gobsmacked

why spend that much money? why?

OP posts:
duchesse · 05/12/2007 13:09

Oh My Effing Goodness! A mobile phone at 5??????

Are they bloody mad?

Sorry. rant over

VictorianSqualor · 05/12/2007 13:10

Duchesse, my exp bought my DD one last year. It has been in a cupboard switched off since three days after she got it.

Hulababy · 05/12/2007 13:10

duchesse - I know. I was somewhat stunned. Infact at that point the girl was actually 4 years old. It was PAYG and it had credit on it, and it was got specially for her. I did ask the mum whilst getting a lift with them. I was pretty speechless TBH.

VictorianSqualor · 05/12/2007 13:11

(she was 7 last week)

VictorianSqualor · 05/12/2007 13:11

In fact, thinking about it I could give it to the xmas MN appeal if I could find it.

HoHoHoOfWalsall · 05/12/2007 13:12

You would think so... but I have been writing a careful list for DS with prices so I can just go online and buy ONLY what's on the list this year, and megablocks are £20, a happypeople/littlepeople thingy is £25. I thought they would be about £10! I wanted to buy DS some art stuff, and the brushes, a few paints and chalks and crayons came to over £15 alone.

UnquietDad · 05/12/2007 13:12

That's nothing duchesse - look at this!!

Sonnet · 05/12/2007 13:12

What I failed to mention VictorianSqualor is that it is the "expected" family tradition for us to spend part of the day at the In-Laws - so my children a)see their 3 cousins getting huge presents from their grandparents whilst they don't and b)see "us" giving their 3 cousins far more expensive presents than they receive from the cousins.
TBH - it dosn't appear to bother mine at all. They are both quite unmaterialistic. BUT I just find it quite insulting that the gifts i can offer just aren't good enough!

fircone · 05/12/2007 13:13

Urrrrgggghhh [at mobile phone]

Megglevache · 05/12/2007 13:13

Message withdrawn

mumblechum · 05/12/2007 13:13

also, as they get older, it's actually quite hard to buy for them . DS is 13 now and is struggling to think of anything he wants, other than a couple of PSP games.

I'm convinced it's the parents who obsess about how much they buy, rather than the kids.

UnquietDad · 05/12/2007 13:14

Sonnet - similar problem here. We are expected to go and see the band of wild cousins (even though DW can't stand her SIL and it's mutual - I feel, why bother??). If it's anything like a couple of years ago we will have to watch the feral brats tearing into pile after pile of conspicuously expensive presents, discarding each one after a couple of seconds to get to the next. Worst Christmas Day I have ever had to endure.

Hulababy · 05/12/2007 13:16

Sonnet - in that situation I would simply hand over a book toen or someother token, of the value that your child's gifts are from their aunt/uncle and be done with it. If the children are being ungrateful I certainly wouldn't be spending more.

duchesse · 05/12/2007 13:16

Aarrgh!?! What the effing eff?

Eyes bleeding now. Thanks.

Has the whole country gone bonkers? Do we parent our children any more, or merely have them babysat by machines?

Sonnet · 05/12/2007 13:16

unquietdad - were you there too!!!

TheQueenOfQuotes · 05/12/2007 13:16

Walsall - have you been into Wilkinsons, or the 99p shop - especially for the arty stuff??

Have you thought of stickle bricks rather than Megablocks - not sure how old your DS is - but my DS2 (4) and DS1 (7!) prefers them over megablocks!

barcelonababe · 05/12/2007 13:16

I am from sunny Spain and I was truly shocked to see the amount of pressies kids get in this country. We might get 1 or 2 big pressies and that;s it... no stocking fillers or anything! Hubby is really pushing me at the mo to keep buying but we have to draw the line somewhere.

Ah, if we've been bad in Catalonia we get a little turd ( made with figs)! Yep, nasty but true!

Yeah, the catalans are very scatological nation!

fircone · 05/12/2007 13:17

Dh's nieces received a boat (real) each last year. I dread to think how our giant tin of Roses measured up.

HoHoHoOfWalsall · 05/12/2007 13:17

DO they have kids bits and bobs? Realisticly (argh can't spell) I would spend £5 on the various kids on DHs side, but £5 barely buys anything nowadays, maybe I am looking in all the wrong places? THing is DHs half brother and his wife keep hinting at what they want us to buy their kids and it's at least £20 each. Argh, I hate all this faff sometimes whatever happened to kids being chuffed with an orange?

OrmIrian · 05/12/2007 13:18

Well that's a new take on figgy pudding barcelonababe

VeniVidiVickiQV · 05/12/2007 13:19

I agree with UD on this.

I dont however, think there is an inverse relationship between how little money they have and how much they are willing to spend on their children at christmas. Because, well, there is no evidence for it, and, of course, it does sound a bit stereotypical (bigoted perhaps too strong a word).

But I am sure you didnt mean it that way Twig.

VictorianSqualor · 05/12/2007 13:20

Ugh, horrid.
Thankfully I can call the shots here so the DC's are going to their 'family' on the 23rd for a few hours, then xmas eve and xmas day is spent with us and the people I regard as family.
I did get quite pissed off when DD told me last time she saw her Father how he told her she could have a whole five pounds on sweets and let her help me count up the shopping the enxt week, plus told her about how much certain bills were, including her childminder so she can go to the school she wants to. She no longer thinks £5 for sweets is particularly great, but her stepdad going to work every day to keep her living the way we do she finds admirable.

tortoiseSHELL · 05/12/2007 13:20

Thank you Sonnet! It works really well for us - the children don't 'expect' lots for Christmas (and in any case we don't have any games system type things) - that works as well because ds1 sees it as a treat to play on his friends' PS etc.

Sonnet - that sounds a nightmare about the cousin's presents!

I just want to avoid this idea that children have a happy Christmas only by getting that perfect expensive present they have been nagging for for weeks, and make it a more fun time, spending time together, playing silly games, seeing our family (we always go to my cousin's house on Boxing day and have a fantastic time, with what will be 9 small children this year!!)

Sonnet · 05/12/2007 13:20

Hulababy: Ungrateful dosn't cover it - do I get a verbal thank-you? - No, a verbal acknowledgement - No...a thank-you letter post xmas/birthday - LOL Never ever!. it just all goes in to this big pile of "stuff".
But I am not spending more - oh no - I still spend the "agreed" budget between SIL and me - SIL adds extra money to it to buy then what they "really want"

HoHoHoOfWalsall · 05/12/2007 13:21

We don't have a poundshop here, or Wilkinsons but I think Slough does. DS is 20 months, he played with some megablacks in A & E the other week and he really enjoyed them, I think he is abit heavy heanded for sticklebricks at the mo. Thanks