to think there is an inverse relationship between how little money people have and how much they are willing to spend on presents for their children

[Twiglett]

am truly gobsmacked at some of the things that people I know are buying for their children

truly and utterly, spoilt bastard, gobsmacked

why spend that much money? why?

In the same way that the less money you have, the bigger your telly.

That one really puzzles me!

But £600 for a bike!

Stacey and stockingfiller, I don't think anyone is saying that everyone does it.
FWIW, 2years ago I had just started a new job after splitting with my xp and had no money, my childrens xmas presents cost about ten pounds from a charity shop. The point is spending ridiculous amounts of money is not worth it.

I mean nope- not unreasonable. It is...surprising.

Message withdrawn

We have feck all money and our dd will be getting tons of gifts from family and ergo not a huge amount from us( a dora explorer scooter for £15 to be exact). She doesn't need expensive stuff to have a great Christmas and feel loved by her family.
I think it is sad that parents feel that spending excessive amounts on their dc's at Christmas is more important than other basics. Fine if you have the money, not fine if you need to borrow it.

Some people are obsessed with the sodding Nintendo DS (when I first heard about it I thought it was some special Mumsnet version of the Gameboy). My DD has been oblivious to its existence until this year, when she played at friend G's house. G's mum is divorced, works part-time and lives in a council house. We are now GRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! that she is aware of the buggers. We own our house and both work, and yet the idea of buying one of these overpriced pieces of electronic tat for a 7-year-old girl seems financial madness.

Please, is anyone else sane??

LOL. We have (all things considered) a lot of money but (i) my children love birds nests for tea (they have them with baked beans on the side and are known as "volcanoes" in our house; and (ii) my Dd got a £30 bike from Argos for her birthday and was mighty pleased with it!

The important thing in our house is that we never spend more than we can afford on presents and treats. And that would be regardless of income.

just to add though - about the Wii. We got it for £179.99. I would not have got it had it been a pennymore

For some poor families it is the ONLY stuff the children will be getting all year whereas in most families these days (including mine) the children are given things throughout the year anyway. It does seem daft for people to spend that much money on Christmas but that is the same whether rich or poor.

Staceym11 I'm sorry you are having a difficult year My parents were very poor when I was young and if it's any consolation, I never felt hard done by because I didn't get huge amounts for Christmas. My parents used to get us colouring books and second hand toys and we were just as excited and happy as any other children. Spending time with your children is what makes them happy at Christmas.

ooops, sorry anchovy, I absolutely hated them!

UQD- I have told mine that yes, sure they can have Nintendo, Wii, telly in room etc....over my dead body.

They now seem to stop talking, and hide plans, whenever I walk into the room without warning...

No of course I'm not twig. I said that in my post. I simply don't see why it bothers anyone else. Perhaps being broke you try to compensate by overbuying. Not sensible perhaps but understandable. Being broke one year and having to scrape by is one thing, being broke all your life and knowing things ain't going to change must be heartbreaking.

I was brought up in a house where there was very little money to spare - shedloads of antiques and family silver and a large house but no cash. Home-made clothes, hand-me downs, nothing bought ready-made if mum could avoid it, no foreign hols, old cars etc. So I share most of the sentiments expressed on this thread about not overdoing things and a dislike of materialsim, but I do have some sympathy for those who want to make a splash for their DCs once a year, and pretend to live the kind of life they can't afford.

We have told DD that she can have a TV in her room if she buys it herself. She is now saving up! I'm not sure if she realises quite how much she has to raise!

I do too Orm, but surely getting yourself into debt and having to pay out an extra £x per week for the next however long just makes the cycle continue. We could get the DC's the stuff they have asked for but it would just mean we had less money for the everyday things.

DD wanted a stereo for her birthday, we got her a midi hifi thingy from argos for £18, she loves it. A friend of mine who is struggling financially got credit to buy her Ds a stereo system for £150.

I've posted this before, but will bore you all again.

We have made a concious decision to NOT buy big Christmas presents. The kids are getting things they will like (ds1 is getting 3 diecast cars from the film Cars, which I got off ebay for £3 each, a Cars playmat (£6), a board game, some felt tip pens and some diving toys if I can find some. Dd is getting a little £5 playmobil set, a game, a Charlie and Lola little tin, some pens, ds2 is getting some percussion instruments. They will be really excited about these, even though the monetary value is low (less than £40 in total each).

The reason we do this is because I remember the anxiety when we were children, both ours and our parents, of getting EXACTLY THE RIGHT present, and we got BIG presents. And the one thing I didn't want was my children saying 'that's not the right £200 present, I wanted RED'. So big things, like bikes, they get when they need them, and can help choose them, Christmas time they get fun little things that they will really enjoy playing with, we stock up the craft drawers etc, and there is therefore no pressure, either financially or emotionally. We also save the 'present opening' till Christmas afternoon, after Church and lunch, and then it takes about 2-3 hours because we do rounds of presents, interspersed with games, Father Christmas (aka ds1) always pays us a visit in the afternoon to deliver a present for everyone. And we listen to Kings on the radio.

Lol UQD, DD has a tv in her room, but it's our old one, it has a crap picture, I refuse to multiroom the sky and she is never allowed to watch it anyway, I'm sure she wonders what the point is

We also bought a Wii, but bought it earlier on in year (September). We paid £200 including one game - they were this price last Christmas/throughout the year too. I would not pay the hugely inflated prices that you get on ebay and other marketplace online shops.

We didn't have a great deal of money when we were little, and my parents also didn't believe in spending more than they ha dor buying on the never never, but despite this all my Christmas memories are fantastic happy ones.

We're on a fairly decent income, but virtual no disposable money but despite that we don't spend much on the DS's at Christmas, or Birthdays, and still manage to buy them things throughout the year.

I bought a MASSIVE Dot-to-Dot book for DS1 (7) in the 99p shop in January - he's still working his way through it now .

Lots of other little things which make them feel they're being given stuff throughout the year, but which costs me no more than buying myself a can of coke and packet of crisps.....

I agree about the debt VS. But they may have saved up to buy these things, they may do without other things, no-one really knows. We have a neighbour who is lone-parent and not at all well off (only just gone back to work part-time now that her youngest is 10), who goes completely OTT (IMO) with the presents for her DCs every year - her 3 DCs all had PS2s, Gameboys, Ipods etc long long before my eldest even had one. But she scrapes by each year to do this, it makes her happy and the DCs don't do without anything essential. She does, but the children don't.

I just object to the assumption that poor people are all feckless and don't know as well as we all do how to spend their money.

I also never intended this thread to be a dig at people on benefits.

It was just a conversation that was overheard and he may well have been talking sht, i.e. trying to make himself look impressive to his mate?! I don't even think you can* buy a childs bike for that amount of money, can you?

BTW I have no problem with people buying or spending what they want on their children or others at Christmas, or indeed what they buy. I buy what I want with my money However I do hate to see or hear of people spending more than they have and getting into debt over Christmas presents - you don't need to do that, your children will have a great time regardless.

I have to say I did not assume that "that poor people are all feckless and don't know as well as we all do how to spend their money."

because that would be rather twattish wouldn't it?

QoQ, sounds as if you're in the same position as us. We live in a house we couldn't now afford, we run a nice-looking car which is on its last legs, we have a bulging credit card... No disposable income at all for Christmas! I realise a little more financial planning would help, but as a freelancer it is difficult to predict what's coming from one quarter to the next.

I'm with Orm. Why on earth does anyone care what other people spend on their kids?

It's as if being on benefits means a person is fair game for others to tut over their perceived financial foolishness.

And in terms of, 'well, that just means the cyce will continue, tut, tut', perhaps, being in financial dire straits, the people involved think 'hey, we're on the bread line, if we have to pay another fiver a week for the kids presents, we'll still be very very poor, why not treat the poor little buggers.'

I remember a girl at school talking excitedly because her dad had taken her to the funfair (which cost c. £3 for a child's wristband) for her birthday. She then said 'AND he got me a pen and a wallet, I was so spoilt.' She was about 14. So if the parents of a child like that want to buy her an ipod out of a catalogue, I say all power to them.