Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Have to lie to my husband’s whole family that my kid loves this

185 replies

IWannaGoToTheSpa · 19/09/2021 07:49

Just after the winter lockdown, March or April ish time, my husband’s brother, his wife and three kids came to see us snd played in the garden. Obviously not seen them all for ages due to lockdown etc. Watching their kids play with my daughter who was 3 at the time was just magical, it was a cold day but they all played in the garden so nicely and absolutely loved being together. When the time came for them to leave my DD burst into hysterical crying and did not want them to go. It was heartbreaking and heart warming at the same time. To stop my DD from being so upset, one of her cousins, 6, gave her favourite soft toy bunny that she’d had since she was a baby. It went everywhere with her so it really was quite incredible that this loving little 6 year old would do this. Bless her. Her parents (my BIL and SIL) were keen to encourage this kind loving act, so we kept it but sort of kept it away from DD in case her little cousin decided at a later point she wanted it back! Well this was one reason. But the other was that it’s stinking and filthy. I mean black with filth. No way was I gonna let DD cuddle it, take it to bed etc. It was grim. Problem is, the whole family still goes on about the loving act (they’re a bit weird - not husband’s brother and wife, they’re lovely, but more my MIL and FIL). And the little cousin does she say misses it. I’d just give the damn thing back but BIL and SIL keen she keeps her promise to my DD. Problem is, my DD won’t even remember getting it as we hid it away due to it being filthy, and now they’re down for a visit (they live two hours away, staying with my MIL and FIL) and little cousin wants to see it. Even arranging a time they can come today for little cousin to pay a visit to the toy bunny. I feel like I’m keeping up a big lie that DD loves this thing cos it was such a big deal that her little cousin gave it to her… do I just keep up this facade forever?! Mean this fairly light hearted, I realise there are bigger problems!

OP posts:
Twickerhun · 19/09/2021 08:09

Have your daughter give it back as an equally loving gesture

Original poster
IWannaGoToTheSpa · 19/09/2021 08:10

Oh my life! Why didn’t I think to wash the thing?!

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 19/09/2021 08:10

I would tell the truth. Just say that after they left your DD never showed any interest in it and give it them back.

Looubylou · 19/09/2021 08:10

The parents are insistent, because they were obviously desperate to get rid of the bloody thing. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Wash it and give it back, with equal insistence

GiveMeAUserName123 · 19/09/2021 08:14

I knew you didint realise you could wash the toy as it’s a very simple answer!

If it’s extra fragile but it in a pillow case and wash it.

Neolara · 19/09/2021 08:16

Wash it and give it back!!! The poor little girl is probably desperate that she gave it away. Say the bunny has had a lovely holiday at yours and cheered your DC up at the time, but that your DC ( in a loving act of kindness) now wants it to go back to its original owner.

Seriously, what were the parents thinking giving away their Dd's special toy. A 6 would be very unlikely to have understood the implications of saying to your DD "have my special toy" in the spur of the moment. That's shows a remarkable lack of emotional intelligence.

Peanutsandchilli · 19/09/2021 08:16

I swear common sense is sadly lacking on here sometimes!

SameToo · 19/09/2021 08:16

Brilliant Grin

Original poster
IWannaGoToTheSpa · 19/09/2021 08:17

@MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously and @AChickenCalledDaal I agree, I do t think BIL and SIL should have allowed her to do that.

Maybe they did just want rid of the dirty thing!

I think you’re right - I’ll fess up that DD hasn’t formed an attachment to it (even if we hadn’t hidden it away, she’s not that into or attached to soft toys) and say it seems their daughter would love it more than ours would.

Thanks all!

OP posts:
GoodnightGrandma · 19/09/2021 08:21

Definitely wash it, then give it back.
My DH, who is in his 60’s, still holds a grudge that he was told to give his favourite toy to a cousin. He mentioned it to the cousin a few years ago and the cousin can’t remember it, and he certainly doesn’t still have the toy.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 19/09/2021 08:23

Bloody Hell OP, you daft narna GrinHmm

CeeceeBloomingdale · 19/09/2021 08:25

Going against the grain a bit here but maybe the parents were pleased their 6 year old was giving up her comfort toy and your DD helped her to do that. I would definitely check with them first before offering it back to the child. It's a bit like ditching the dummy and a well meaning relative giving the child another one months later.

Either way please wash it. I collect soft toys for charity events and wash them in pillow cases and peg them on the washing lines by their ears. Some need a few washes if they are well loved. Drying them quickly is the key to success, choose a sunny windy day if possible.

Sarcobaleno · 19/09/2021 08:26

My best friend was made to give her precious favourite toy to her cousin and it still hurts her that her parents made her do it. Wash it, give it back and buy another similar toy so you can say to your niece that she and your daughter match now. Give the old one a new bow or something.

MrsBobDylan · 19/09/2021 08:28

Just give it back fgs! I feel so sorry for that poor 6 year old who was encouraged to give away her precious toy.

Stop pandering to silly bloody adults who are trying to force a small child to 'be kind'. You should not have accepted it in the first instance.

MrsBobDylan · 19/09/2021 08:30

@Sarcobaleno that's so sad Sad

MitheringMytryl · 19/09/2021 08:32

Wash it and give it back. Problem solved.

WishingWell5 · 19/09/2021 08:33

Just say that bunny misses the girl and has had a lovely holiday but would quite like to go home now.

Beautiful3 · 19/09/2021 08:33

Wash it and tell your daughter to give bunny back to cousin.

MushMonster · 19/09/2021 08:36

First reply, just to the point 8ndeed!
Why did you wash the toy? Actually I think you have been rather mean and interfere on the two cousins stablishing a strong bond. The little girl will remember this forever. And your daughter would have remembered too if you had given her the clean toy. You could keep it just for the home if it is that worn.
Just wash it and give it to your daughter and tell her who she gave it to her and that she has been thinking of her and asking to see her. Maybe you can still safe the magic of it.
It has nothing to do with you or your in-laws. It is 100% for you DD and her cousin, their moment together, and you just stopped it from happening!

PuppyMonkey · 19/09/2021 08:36

“Oh yes, DD has long since moved onto her new fave toy, a teddy (or whatever), been meaning to ask if you want Dirty Bunny back.”

Ashard20 · 19/09/2021 08:36

I would write a little note "from the bunny" explaining that he/she has missed the 6 year old and please could he come home now after his lovely holiday and maybe attach a little bag of sweets or something.

merrymouse · 19/09/2021 08:36

@DoucheCanoe

I'd wash it then give it back.

Tell them that DD has enjoyed having bunny to stay for a while when they couldn't see each other but now it's time for bunny to go home.

Just tell them that she doesn't really look at or play with it so it's only fair that their child who actually wants it has it back but you appreciated the gesture.

It's really not a big deal.

Agree.
Hugoslavia · 19/09/2021 08:37

Definitely give it back. Even if you just send it back with her on holiday for a short while and then never collect it. Or, how about you go on about how so wonderfully kind it was of her to give it to your DD, that it has taught your DD a big lesson in kindness and now she wants to reciprocate. How can they all deny your DD the opportunity to also be kind.

Thadhiya · 19/09/2021 08:40

@PegasusReturns

Wash it! Why on earth wouldn’t you?!
I do wonder how some of these posters get through the day without needing to ask Mumsnet.
SavoyCabbage · 19/09/2021 08:42

I would definitely give it back! This poor little girl, giving away her precious bunny.

When my dd was in year two her best friend left her favourite toy cat in the class and then she went on holiday for three weeks (not in the UK, much more lax system!) and the class teacher sent this cat home with my dd.

I knew my dd would become attached to the damn cat so at the end of the three weeks I bought a similar looking smaller cat and told dd that I'd heard a lot of strange noises from her bedroom whilst she was at school and off she went to investigate and lo and behold the cat had had a baby cat. 😂 Everyone is happy.

So that's my suggestion. Get another rabbit for your dd, they could be cousins like the girls are cousins. Really to make the six year old feel good that her kind gesture was kind and that your dd isn't sad now and doesn't need the bunny.

Swipe left for the next trending thread