Spending 43k savings on a wedding.

[Cosmos123]

I know a couple who are spending 43k (all savings) on a wedding yet have no where to live.
He is a 1st year nursing student on a bursary she is looking for work as a nursery nurse.
They are currently looking for 1 bed flat with a budget of £500pcm as that is all they can afford on his bursary. For which they have asked myself to be a guarantor.
Yet they are have an expensive wedding in 6 weeks.

I did discuss to them about spending less and perhaps the money as a deposit on a property further down the line. They seem to agree then bang this is what they decided.

If course you are allowed to be judgy about their spending habits and plans OP because they have asked you for a loan for their £3k honeymoon and also to be a guarantor for their rent!!!!

It's exactly the time you should be judging their financial habits

£43k on a wedding is extravagant and fine if they can afford it but they clearly can't. They could use part of the £43k to pay a years rent upfront and not need a guarantor. Or as a deposit on a shared ownership help to buy flat given one of them will be a keyworker.

They make reckless financial decisions. Glad you decided not to be a guarantor as you would be putting your financial security at risk for a financially irresponsible couple.

I wouldn't loan nor guarantee anything for them. They have such a cheek asking.

I don't think anybody would 'look cheap' for not spending £43k on their wedding. It's a ridiculous amount of money and whilst it is entirely up to them, they would be better advised to put most of it towards a home.

I'm glad you have decided not to be a guarantor for their rental property; if they both live with parents at the moment, the parents can surely do that.

Let's hope the marriage lasts! Imagine spending that much and they split after a couple of years.

I hope you enjoy the occasion and have a good day when it happens.

Ditto being their Guarantor too.

Definitely don’t act as a guarantor. If they have that much money to waste, they can afford to pay 6months or a year’s rent upfront. Guarantor then isn’t needed. By being their guarantor you are enabling them and being very foolish.

I hope my dc never waste that amount of money on a wedding - absolutely crazy.

No way would I be guarantor for them! If they default you are then fully liable for whatever debts they ring up wrt their rent.

Keep out of things, don’t lend money, don’t be guarantor.

They’ll learn the hard way about money and life - they’re old enough to know better.

Hadn’t RTFT. Glad you decided not to go ahead with it.

Personally I think spending the equivalent of a deposit on a house for a wedding is insane, doubly so when you have nowhere to live. They’re a pair of fools.

I don’t understand it and I never will. Sure it’s not my business. But I’m allowed an opinion.

i think a lot of people look on weddings like this, Showing Off, for Show

@VickyEadieofThigh

See, for an old git like me (I'm 63), this is grist to my 'ranting about people spending a fortune on weddings and then moaning that they can't get on the property ladder' mill.

My weddings both cost less than £500 but then I hate being the centre of attention AND wasting money on ONE DAY.

Me too! a woman after my own heart.

My wedding was in the middle of the honeymoon on foreign shores with no guests and a 5 minute ceremony.

And I would do it all again that way.

No way be a garuantor (spelling)
£43 k on a wedding is INSANE.

What a huge waste of their money.
Most long term marriages I know of had shoestring weddings.

OP sign nothing and just leave them to it!. Good luck to em...theyll learn

We spent about half of that for a pretty glam wedding for 90 people in Central London with a free bar, 4-course meal, and evening finger food. We only spent the money because we could (luckily) comfortably afford it and were already on property ladder. We were mid-thirties and well established and wanted to do it.

No regrets at all - it was amazing, something we'll remember for the rest of our lives! But we would have done it very differently if we were earlier in our progression and could have put that money towards other, more essential things. £43k is an incredible amount to spend on a wedding, particularly if you don't have a place to live without a guarantor...

Well obviously don’t be a guarantor or lend them money - they clearly don’t need either! Other than that, nothing to do with you, so I guess just watch and see, hopefully they’ll learn the lesson at some point.

@Zenithbear

This post makes zero sense to me. People who are financially capable of saving that amount of money at their ages tend to be savvy with money. Yet now they are making very stupid feckless money decisions all of a sudden. They can't be both. They would never have got the 43k together with the latter attitude imo and experience. Sorry not buying it.

If you don't pay rent, contribute for food and bills and have had a job since 21 you can save that kind of money. You can also easily blow it on one day.

@SandysMam
If they have saved it themselves then they are obviously good with money and will probably save it again in time. If they inherited/won it then yes, they are foolish really

Throwing £40k on a wedding while planning to burn £500 on rent for years and years doesn’t suggest they’re good with money.

Just read they’re 29/30. So they’re planning to effectively blow their entire life (so far) savings on a wedding while scraping together enough for rent? Hope it’s a sunny day!

If you trust them to pay the rent then be their guarantor. Paying money they already have on a wedding is an irrelevance although it could easy pay almost half of a starter home where I live.

Well, it's up to them, but I agree that it's not the wisest use of money. I wouldn't interfere in their choices (probably too late anyway); but I wouldn't be their guarantor.

@Zenithbear just for argument sake, lets say they have both saved £22k each. They've both been earning £20k per year since leaving university, and have had zero living expenses. Of course a person in that situation could save £23k relatively easily, it would only take a few years, and that's even with plenty of fun money. If they've no experience of budgeting when they actually have all their bills to pay, I predict that they will find it incredibly difficult to save that sum again soon, if ever.

I'm glad you've decided not to be a guarantor there's no way I would put my neck on the line for a couple of people that stupid.

They're priorities are pretty backwards.

Ah, just seen they haven't done university yet so probably haven't been earning that much per year. But still, the same argument still applies, they won't find it very easy to save that sum again when they're paying all their bills.

@Zenithbear I can confirm it's easy to save that kind of money. DH and I lived at home for 3 years, saved £60k in 3 years. We even went abroad regularly to see my family so spent at least £1000 on flights every year.

Of course we used the money for a house deposit! And we are in London so 43k is not small money even in London!.in fact it could probably be a ok deposit in some of the cheaper areas of London.

I would not be a guarantor for anyone except one of my DC.

If they default on their rent you will be 100% liable to pay it for however long it takes for them to accumulate enough money to pay off the arrears.

Why can’t their parents be their guarantors?

3. Yes they are related

To you? Not to each other?