To have offered to turn up 3 hours early?

[Friendissues46]

I have a friend, who I see semi regularly, every couple of months and we do stuff together. All good.

We both live alone and have partners, but make time together. Friend is a big drinker but I’m recently tee total after many years of drinking socially so we are now having to start doing other things socially than drinking.

I asked friend if she wanted to go see a comedy night tonight which doors open at 9pm, three weeks ago. She said yes, all good and booked- she booked the tickets and I paid her for mine. I asked her if she wanted to go for a meal beforehand, and she said no. That’s fine. She said I could go around hers beforehand for a cuppa and a chat and I said that sounds good.

So today is the day, and I spoke to my friend and said I was thinking of coming to hers for 6pm. This is 3 hours before the show starts, it’s a 9pm entry so would give us 3 hours to chat spend time together etc plus the show. It’s a 1 hour drive to hers so I’d leave mine at 5.

The reason I didn’t go earlier is I had a family birthday lunch which finished at half 3. She knew this and I didn’t think it messed with our plans.

Well, she’s furious- said that I’m going to be late for the show? It starts at 9, I’m getting to hers at 6. She then said it hardly gives us enough time to spend together and I should’ve come earlier say lunchtime or asked to stay over. I said I couldn’t stay over as I had work the next day.

Well, she’s now said that she’s going to offer my ticket to her mum because I clearly have too much on my plate and 3 hours before the show to hang out just isn’t good enough.

I’m truly confused, I’ve just agreed as despite my insistence to go, she’s replying as “oh you’re so busy” “it’s too much for you” and I got a sense it would no longer be enjoyable.

I don’t think I’ll get my money back and I’m not sure what to even suggest or say now- it’s so bizarre this has happened an hour before I was supposed to leave.

AIBU?

[QueenBee52]

@LoisLane66

Transferring money takes all of 90 seconds AT MOST.
Has she done it yet?

make sure you get it OP

[Friendissues46]

Sorry haven’t updated! No money back at all and no response to any of my texts

[thenovice]

Not a friend. Ask for the ticket, but say if she really wants to give it to her mum she must give you the money. Then ditch her. That's rubbish behaviour.

[CuntyMcBollocks]

Sounds to me like she's just using it as an excuse and she really wanted to take her mum/someone else in the first place, but get you to pay for the ticket. She sounds very bizarre anyway.

[Liliuk]

Perhaps it's just a misunderstanding. Always worth trying to understand and say perhaps next time we'll plan a full day together.

[exaltedwombat]

She'd built up a day plan in her mind, you shat on it. If you've told us EVERYTHING, she's being childish.

[LoisLane66]

@GreyGoose1980
Yes, I too agree with you in respect of the 'friend'. IMO, it just goes to show that we don't REALLY know people who we think are our friends. We only know what we see and hear which isn't 100% of anyone, not even our DH/DPs 😁💐

[TRex57128]

Sorry this happened to you. People are shits sometimes. xxx

[Ladyofthebirds]

Sorry but this doesn't sit right with me and is totally unreasonable behavior, Sounds like she was making an excuse not to go with you and go with her mum instead do you think it may be down to the you not drinking? She if she's a big drinker might wanna go out get hammered and knows your not drinking so wanted an excuse to go with someone who wants to drink? Either which way she doesn't sound like a very good friend in all honesty and your better off steering clear of her if she's going to behave like that and give away the ticket you paid for.

[GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing]

Yes I thought it was going to be too early for her too! Saying it’s too late is bonkers.

[ElizabethBoland]

What a shitty friend, I’ve been round peoples houses for half hour before for a quick cuppa, she’s used this as an excuse to not go with you. As you suggested the activity she should have offered you the tickets. How much time before does friend need? It’s not about the time though, it’s that she didn’t want to go with you

[TeaSoakedDisasterMagnet]

It’s weird that she didn’t want to have dinner with you but still expected you there much earlier than 6pm. What was she expecting you to do for food?

[Poppingmad123]

Friend does sound bonkers. Maybe just calmly reiterate your thoughts for the day, reasons for your timings etc and just say we must have got our wires crossed somewhere. But not to worry, we can make a full day of it next time (for the next event you plan together - if you do!). Good luck!

[ChaToilLeam]

She sounds quite arsey. Not sure I‘d want to bother any more after such a carry on.

[Tistheseason17]

She's not your friend. Very odd 🤔

[Overtired201984]

Friends like this are a no , Id say see ya ! Honest some women are such hard work! ( a woman writing this)

If this a grown up friendship that even worse , why do some women still insist on acting like school mates .

Fuck her off 🤣

[SoloISland]

There is an old saying.. "With friends like this you don't need enemies."

[BunnytheFriendlyDragon]

Very strange

Get your money back

[Skysblue]

She’s mad. And an ex-friend. I can’t believe you’ve paid for a ticket snd wanted to go and she stole the ticket!

God Mumsnet is fascinating sometimes, I never meet people who behave like this.

[Binting]

It sounds like she may have been stewing on something for a while OP and is using this as an excuse to let rip at you, possibly egged on by her mum? (although I may be way off the mark there). I also gave up alcohol a few years ago and have lost some friends because of this. I have one friend who I used to get off my face with on a regular basis and we do still meet up, although she always has an excuse to go home early now. I think she wants to drink but not in front of me. I do get the feeling that alcohol is playing a part in your friend’s extreme reaction somewhere.

I’m a hothead even without a drink and I think in your shoes I’d definitely be going round to her house to get my ticket or get the cash for it and also asking her wtf is going on.

[winterchills]

Do not stop until you get your money back, then when you do block her. Cheeky cow

[LoisLane66]

All my friends and family know I don't drink as I hate the taste. Only 1 son thinks it's odd and he's only an occasional drinker anyway. None of my friends have treated me any differently and I buy them alcohol, they buy me lime and water, my preferred tipple, or tap water. It's never an issue.
I do hope the OP stands firm about her refund and I'd ditch the 'friend'.

[QueenBee52]

Sounds more she's deeply jealous that you have other friends and family out with her.. which is ow a good thing.. because she's clearly nasty as hell...

I hope you get your money back, but if you don't it's just proving the point about how nasty she is...

[SirGawain]

@Liliuk

Perhaps it's just a misunderstanding. Always worth trying to understand and say perhaps next time we'll plan a full day together.

I wouldn’t plan anything with someone as flaky as this.

[thenovice]

Mumsnet is a fascinating insight into the world. You couldn't make up peope's weirdness.
Sorry this has happened to you OP!