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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have offered to turn up 3 hours early?

178 replies

Friendissues46 · 18/09/2021 16:59

I have a friend, who I see semi regularly, every couple of months and we do stuff together. All good.

We both live alone and have partners, but make time together. Friend is a big drinker but I’m recently tee total after many years of drinking socially so we are now having to start doing other things socially than drinking.

I asked friend if she wanted to go see a comedy night tonight which doors open at 9pm, three weeks ago. She said yes, all good and booked- she booked the tickets and I paid her for mine. I asked her if she wanted to go for a meal beforehand, and she said no. That’s fine. She said I could go around hers beforehand for a cuppa and a chat and I said that sounds good.

So today is the day, and I spoke to my friend and said I was thinking of coming to hers for 6pm. This is 3 hours before the show starts, it’s a 9pm entry so would give us 3 hours to chat spend time together etc plus the show. It’s a 1 hour drive to hers so I’d leave mine at 5.

The reason I didn’t go earlier is I had a family birthday lunch which finished at half 3. She knew this and I didn’t think it messed with our plans.

Well, she’s furious- said that I’m going to be late for the show? It starts at 9, I’m getting to hers at 6. She then said it hardly gives us enough time to spend together and I should’ve come earlier say lunchtime or asked to stay over. I said I couldn’t stay over as I had work the next day.

Well, she’s now said that she’s going to offer my ticket to her mum because I clearly have too much on my plate and 3 hours before the show to hang out just isn’t good enough.

I’m truly confused, I’ve just agreed as despite my insistence to go, she’s replying as “oh you’re so busy” “it’s too much for you” and I got a sense it would no longer be enjoyable.

I don’t think I’ll get my money back and I’m not sure what to even suggest or say now- it’s so bizarre this has happened an hour before I was supposed to leave.

AIBU?

OP posts:
WestendVBroadway · 18/09/2021 19:29

Fookin hell, she must have some bloody large mugs if 'a cuppa' requires more than 3 hours!

Plumtree391 · 18/09/2021 19:30

If she has said she will, I think she will.

I imagine she will be feeling quite stupid and embarrassed over her behaviour to you. Maybe things are happening in her life making her feel insecure.

Wait and see what she comes up with (if anything).

Life goes on.

Kuachui · 18/09/2021 19:42

She didn't want to have dinner with you.... But wanted you there all day 🙄 wtf...she said she wanted a cuppa... That means turn up an hour or 2 early..
Think someone's lying here think she may just be trying to have a reason to invite someone else.

I would grab my ticket and go have a good time

katemuff · 18/09/2021 19:44

That's hilarious OP, it's nice she wants to spend so much time with you, but also slightly crackers.

saraclara · 18/09/2021 19:45

I asked friend if she wanted to go see a comedy night tonight

So it was YOUR suggestion, yet she's giving your ticket to her mum? That's insane.

remind her that it was you that wanted to go in the first place, that you've paid for your ticket and you want to go.

Don't let her walk all over you.

frogsbreath · 18/09/2021 19:49

Tell her straight she's blowing this up for her own reasons

"It's plenty of time before the gig starts. You know it is plenty of time. We would both have enjoyed the evening and had enough time for a catch up before. I don't know why you're making out this doesn't work, if you didn't want to go with me you should have said this plainly instead of finding a ridiculous reason. I'll expect the money back before XXX"

Or similar Grin

BakewellGin1 · 18/09/2021 19:55

I'm that awkward I would have told her I was coming to collect my ticket as actually I still wanted to use it as I had paid for it and wanted to see the show even if this was alone

Sometimeswinning · 18/09/2021 20:15

I'd drive up just to make the point! Get my ticket!

FrogFairy · 18/09/2021 20:16

Fucking hell, in three hours even Mrs Doyle could give you enough cups of tea to keep her happy. Your friend is batshit.

bogoffmda · 18/09/2021 20:19

Bit like OP - was walking to work from the station, when the guts gave me a 5 minute warning. Realising I could not get to work before explosion- I looked for an alley way, skip etc that I could hide behind.

Was by some train arches so disappeared into one of them - usual junk in them or so I thought. Chose one and leaned on the shipping container and my bowels poured forth and explosively. Unlike OP did have a tissue to hand. Wiped, pulled up my pants and looked around to see if I has been caught.

Then realised it was one of those converted containers into a home and I had sprayed the front door and the steps and the floor where they came out. Further down was a caravan and the door was opening - was never a sprinter but that day I was.

GromblesofGrimbledon · 18/09/2021 20:21

@bogoffmda

Bit like OP - was walking to work from the station, when the guts gave me a 5 minute warning. Realising I could not get to work before explosion- I looked for an alley way, skip etc that I could hide behind.

Was by some train arches so disappeared into one of them - usual junk in them or so I thought. Chose one and leaned on the shipping container and my bowels poured forth and explosively. Unlike OP did have a tissue to hand. Wiped, pulled up my pants and looked around to see if I has been caught.

Then realised it was one of those converted containers into a home and I had sprayed the front door and the steps and the floor where they came out. Further down was a caravan and the door was opening - was never a sprinter but that day I was.

Um...

😂

Ilovesandwiches · 18/09/2021 20:25

Yep I thought she was going to say too early too! She is Ridiculous friend! Not you!

Sprogonthetyne · 18/09/2021 20:29

@bogoffmda

Bit like OP - was walking to work from the station, when the guts gave me a 5 minute warning. Realising I could not get to work before explosion- I looked for an alley way, skip etc that I could hide behind.

Was by some train arches so disappeared into one of them - usual junk in them or so I thought. Chose one and leaned on the shipping container and my bowels poured forth and explosively. Unlike OP did have a tissue to hand. Wiped, pulled up my pants and looked around to see if I has been caught.

Then realised it was one of those converted containers into a home and I had sprayed the front door and the steps and the floor where they came out. Further down was a caravan and the door was opening - was never a sprinter but that day I was.

bogoffmda Was that ment for the "secrets I'll take to the grave" thread?
Bettercallsaul1 · 18/09/2021 20:32

Well, it was certainly an unexpected take on the situation. Grin

Briony123 · 18/09/2021 20:34

She doesn't want to go to a comedy club sober. I can understand that, I wouldn't want to either! I'd probably tell you the real reason rather than the bizarre show she is putting on.

Mossstitch · 18/09/2021 20:44

Surely she would have offered you a meal, not a 'cuppa' if she wanted you there earlier....... Doesn't make sense at all!!

ejhhhhh · 18/09/2021 20:55

I too was expecting it to be a thread about being to early. Your friend's reaction is mad, there had got to be more to it.

And @bogoffmda that's the funniest wrong thread post I think I've ever seen on here.

GreyGoose1980 · 18/09/2021 21:06

She sounds quite controlling and not that considerate of you OP. You suggested dinner beforehand at yours but she said to just come to hers for a cup of tea. I’d also think that meant eat early yourself at home and then get there a couple of hours before you need to leave. It’s not like you can’t catch up in the interval or on the way there and back too. So by suggesting you get there earlier than 6 is she thinking you’ll go the whole afternoon with just a cup of tea and no food 🙄 Her now pulling out of the arrangement and treating you badly is really out of order and I don’t think she’s a real friend to you.

Chickychickydodah · 18/09/2021 21:21

Tell her to give you the money for the ticket then delete and block. She is rude and nuts .

MrsMaizel · 18/09/2021 21:25

TBH you both left it too late to discuss the details of the actual day .

Staffy1 · 18/09/2021 21:45

It seems odd that she wanted you to get there earlier than 3 hours beforehand but didn’t want to go out for dinner and was only offering “a cuppa” at her house.

BathMatToe · 18/09/2021 21:58

If you have the electronic copy I'd get there early and use it. But I'm a twat.
Then she turns up with her date and can't use it.

grapewine · 19/09/2021 11:51

Did you go to the show?

Vodka1 · 19/09/2021 16:06

Pleeease give us an update

Pinklemonade1 · 19/09/2021 17:33

I thought, wow, 3 hrs is a bit early.😂
Unless she is in the middle of a breakdown this is really unacceptable on her part. She damn well better give you the money back! Weirdo.