To have offered to turn up 3 hours early?

[Friendissues46]

I have a friend, who I see semi regularly, every couple of months and we do stuff together. All good.

We both live alone and have partners, but make time together. Friend is a big drinker but I’m recently tee total after many years of drinking socially so we are now having to start doing other things socially than drinking.

I asked friend if she wanted to go see a comedy night tonight which doors open at 9pm, three weeks ago. She said yes, all good and booked- she booked the tickets and I paid her for mine. I asked her if she wanted to go for a meal beforehand, and she said no. That’s fine. She said I could go around hers beforehand for a cuppa and a chat and I said that sounds good.

So today is the day, and I spoke to my friend and said I was thinking of coming to hers for 6pm. This is 3 hours before the show starts, it’s a 9pm entry so would give us 3 hours to chat spend time together etc plus the show. It’s a 1 hour drive to hers so I’d leave mine at 5.

The reason I didn’t go earlier is I had a family birthday lunch which finished at half 3. She knew this and I didn’t think it messed with our plans.

Well, she’s furious- said that I’m going to be late for the show? It starts at 9, I’m getting to hers at 6. She then said it hardly gives us enough time to spend together and I should’ve come earlier say lunchtime or asked to stay over. I said I couldn’t stay over as I had work the next day.

Well, she’s now said that she’s going to offer my ticket to her mum because I clearly have too much on my plate and 3 hours before the show to hang out just isn’t good enough.

I’m truly confused, I’ve just agreed as despite my insistence to go, she’s replying as “oh you’re so busy” “it’s too much for you” and I got a sense it would no longer be enjoyable.

I don’t think I’ll get my money back and I’m not sure what to even suggest or say now- it’s so bizarre this has happened an hour before I was supposed to leave.

AIBU?

[Michael343]

Her behaviour is completely unreasonable. Definitely don't let her walk all over you. She seems to be trying to sabotage your attendance so she can give the ticket to someone else.

[Higgeldypiggeldy35]

Is this very unlike her? Does she have something going on to make her stressed and over react? I mean, it is a massive over reaction. I'd ask her if she's ok and see what she says. If she has form for being anweid drama llama then I'd start distancing myself from the friendship

[Rossetti47]

@olympicsrock

Ha ha - I thought she was going to complain about your arriving too early. It’s fine and she is weirdly needy!

Same!

[peppermintpat]

Ghost her. Time to move on from that 'friendship'.

[WineInTheBlood]

It sounds like she's engineered an argument to get your ticket and go with someone else. Still bizarre but nothing else really makes sense. Did you end up going?

[HelpNeedCoolUsername8]

Weird! Like another poster said, I thought you were gonna say she was mad you were arriving to early! Either there’s a misunderstanding somewhere (one of you has the start time wrong!), or she sounds like a very high maintenance/demanding friend! Is this the first time she’s been grumpy with you, or is this just one of many such incidences. If it’s out of character then I’d have to wonder if something else is going on that you don’t know about. If it’s not out of character then just agree to have you money back and focus on less demanding friends!

[Ifrozethehoumous]

I agree with Cudflemuffin - short it out with her sensibly if you can.

[lynntheyresexpeople]

Get your money back!!

[Dontknowanymore2]

You asked her to the night out! What right does she have to offer your ticket to anyone?

[cookingisoverrated]

I'd have gone and collected the ticket you paid for.

[DuckbilledSplatterPuff]

@Waspsarearseholes

She can't do anything with your ticket, you've paid for it, it is yours. It sounds like she's making an excuse for you not to go, or rather for you not to go with her. So she's either worried about being the only one drinking or she had already invited her mum but hadn't sorted a ticket. I would say to her that it's a shame she no longer wants to go with you, you'll pop round at 8 to collect your ticket or the money for it and go on your way. She's being a cow, though. Not much of a friend.

This.
Awful behaviour.

[mrsbyers]

Sounds like she is drunk

[ThinWomansBrain]

unless the tickets were really expensive, I'd be relieved to have this as an excuse to duck out of the "friendship"

[Thebelleofstmarys]

Hmm. I had a similar scenario with a former "friend" once . Paid her for my ticket to go to the theatre with her , she cancelled the day before " as something had cropped up " so I said I still wanted to go and would take someone else with me and sent her the money for her ticket through PayPal. I did this because apparently the tickets were at the box office . Got to the theatre . No tickets and no record of her purchasing anything at all at any time . Paid for two more tickets and saw the show . Ex friend blamed the theatre and said she'd definitely bought first lot of tickets yet had deleted all emails from the theatre .
Bin and move on .

[AlRRRR]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 she must be upset as she obviously had another idea. If only she could have communicated with you instead of being passive aggressive …

[LoisLane66]

Transferring money takes all of 90 seconds AT MOST.
Has she done it yet?

[OverweightPidgeon]

You could do what a pp did and do a poo on her doorstep

[LoisLane66]

@GreyGoose1980
The OP did NOT suggest dinner at hers, she suggested dinner before the show, probably somewhere near the venue which is 10 minutes away from the friend's home.

[froggybiby]

Did you tell her you still wanted to go? I reckon she is not letting the full story on...she may be going with her boyfriend.

[GreyGoose1980]

@LoisLane66 - thanks I re- read it and agree that’s correct. Thanks for pointing that out. However my other points still stand in that OP’s friend is out of order here.

[Peppermintpatty24]

Get rid. She's bonkers conkers 😂

[SpringRainbow]

Is she usually like this?

How on earth could you possibly be late if you are turning up 3 hours early?!

[whynotwhatknot]

When was you supposed to eat then after the show

her reasoning makes no sense

[GrandmaSteglitszch]

That must have been such a shock, OP.
If it's out of character for your friend, try to talk to her about it - once she's paid your money back.

[QueenBee52]

@Vodka1

Ask her if you can pop in for your ticket about 6 as you would still like to attend it anyway but understand if she doesn't want to travel with you.

this 🎉