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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To report a class group chat.

220 replies

LondonElle · 18/09/2021 14:10

I have two boys one in year 6 of primary school.
One older and in secondary school.
A few parents have taken a immense dislike of the year 6 class teacher they believe she is too strict.
Some of the children are about to take a grammar school test next week and certain parents are up in arms about the teacher upsetting their children by expecting too much off them? Raising her voice and therefore potentially causing them to fail their exams. I personally have no issues with the teacher and didn't when my older son was a pupil there last year.
The messages about this teacher started last week with a lot of parents piling on and ripping her character to shreds.
I thought it would blow over and didn't really want to get involved so kept my head down and didn't comment either way.
However within the last few days the messages have taken quite a nasty turn, one parent in particular seems hell bent on rallying the troops to get this teacher out, she has accused the teacher of gross misconduct, emotional abuse and is threatening legal action.
I wonder whether I should inform the school, I come from a family of teachers so this may be clouding my vision, I am also a member of the pta so have a good relationship with the school?
Should I keep my nose out?

OP posts:

iamaMused · 20/09/2021 08:09

Op.... could you step back and take all the emotion from this and actually look at the situation in an unbiased way, when my boys were in primary school there were some excellent teachers but 2 were awwww absolutely awful, bully teachers including the head. Due to my job I was asked to volunteer a few times every year to teach the class. Just because you are not experiencing the darker side of the teacher doesn't mean it doesn't exist, I saw some terrible behaviour from these so called professionals and was conflicted as my husband was a governor. The other parents set up a group and were actually spot on with their accusations, I kept schtum which proved correct as it wasn't long, the worst teacher overstepped the mark and was 'managed out'. The head is still in role but has a massive staff turn over. The school has a terrible reputation
Many of the kids she bullied have gone on to be successful in high school.
I do think some of the parents are nervous for the entrance exam but this teacher needs to modify her behaviour and don't be too complacent, it may be your child next.
Plus the parents will find out who reported them so there may be future issues for your family.

Whatamess582 · 20/09/2021 08:26

Wow. A teacher should be sacked because she shouts sometimes and asked the kids to do a test???

Tell them to send their kids to a school in France. If you complained about that here they would laugh in your face and tell you you were welcome to take your child out of the school, but the teacher is just doing their job.

Plumtree391 · 20/09/2021 08:29

@Ostagazuzulum

I think I'd leave WhatsApp group for starters.

So would I! They sounds like a load of witches stirring a cauldron, especially the ring leader. The op had no problems with this particular teacher when her child was in their class.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 20/09/2021 08:52

ImiMused, I have been a teacher for 25 years. I don’t know any member of staff who ‘bullies’ children. Most teachers actually like children..

Some have harsher discipline, but it’s not bullying.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 20/09/2021 09:15

Eleven plus hysteria looking for a scape goat in advance. Is it Tunbridgd Wells.

Plumtree391 · 20/09/2021 09:16

It did occur to me that the WhatsApp ringleader's child might not be doing so well

Stilsmiling · 20/09/2021 12:19

If you comment on the WhatsApp group about the teacher being ok or reasons for leaving the group then you could potentially be annoying the ringleader and any others that feel the same as them. That could make an enemy for you as you would essentially be telling them publicly that they are being unreasonable.

If any other parent sent screenshots of the WhatsApp messages to the HT or teacher then you will not be involved if you have not contributed. The Head Teacher knows that there are parents who have the sense not to get involved in things like this.

The ringleader may have a child who is stressed, the parent may be struggling to manage their own stress as well as their child’s and be looking for a scapegoat to blame if their child doesn’t do as well as they had hoped.

Bugbabe1970 · 20/09/2021 13:17

Leave the group and keep out of it

Sandinmyknickers · 20/09/2021 14:33

@EarringsandLipstick

It isn't. If something can be screenshotted, it's not confidential and you don't put anything on there you wouldn't want your grandmother to read.

Again my point is that can apply to any communication, including pre-digital communication

A letter can be photocopied, a phone call recorded. People don't tend to do this - though they could.

Caution in a group conversation is advisable of course but the screen shotting idea is a digital version of the 2 copying methods I described above, which people can do but it's reasonable to assume most people won't.

Sorry, I think you've drawn false equivalences there. It's not the same as taking time out to photocopy a letter. It's more like someone you don't know that well passing you an inflammatory/rude note and then expecting you to not show it to others. Or to stand in a room of people, make an inflammatory remark and expect none to repeat it.

I think a WhatsApp conversation of people only tied together by the fact that their kids attend the same school class should have no expectation that what they are writing is private. Its not the same as a WhatsApp conversation privately between a close friend or a private letter. It's the technology equivalent of standing in a room of people, or sending round a flyer/post it note/ memo

Backwaterjunction · 20/09/2021 15:17

Teachers need to shout more and parents that mainly were stupid at school and wanted their time should stop putting pressure on their kids and blaming teachers for their own failures.

Mirw · 21/09/2021 00:48

As a member of the PTA you should not be colluding with this group in the bullying and harassment of the teacher. Report it now

PurpleOkapi · 21/09/2021 01:57

I don't see a real problem here. The teacher isn't affected by them complaining about her in a group chat. The only thing they can do that might affect her is to file a formal complaint. One parent already did, and that's perfectly appropriate, because now those claims can be properly investigated. If others who complained about her in the group chat want to file their own official complaints, they can. If they choose not to, then as far as the school is concerned, they have no complaints. I just don't understand what would be accomplished by screenshotting or sharing the groupchat conversations.

Everydayimhuffling · 21/09/2021 05:29

All the people saying it doesn't affect the teacher, don't get involved etc would 100% be calling this out as the bullying it is if it was their child being talked about this way. Yes, you should report it. Screenshot but don't send those unless asked for further details.

toomuchlaundry · 21/09/2021 07:09

If this was a group of dads bullying a female teacher would the ignore it posters be saying the same thing?

Most people would report or at least call it out if they were bullying a child like this, so why is a teacher fair game? Bitching about them behind their back is not going to change her behaviour, if it indeed needs changing. Go through the correct channels if you have a genuine complaint

Skysblue · 21/09/2021 07:23

I’d say something on the wattsapp group like “Guys it feels like the group has turned into a place to complain about school, but we can’t change anything here, could those who aren’t happy with the school maybe raise it with the head?” Then I’d leave the wattsapp group.

I wouldn’t start screenshotting things and sending to school, I think that would be childish and really strange behaviour.

Beline4u · 21/09/2021 09:32

It is disgusting that grown ass parents behave like this!! I would respond with exactly that, within group chat! Why can't people bring concerns to the school rather than BULLY a person who is unable to defend their position. I would make the parents aware of their chappy behaviour, then inform the teacher/school.
I wouldn't worry about making an enemy of this people because they would not be welcome in my circle nor my child's!!

Harford · 23/09/2021 00:57

All the people saying it doesn't affect the teacher, don't get involved etc would 100% be calling this out as the bullying it is if it was their child being talked about this way

that's different because they are kids at school together and peers and it is likely it will escalate if they are around each other all day. Parents on the other hand gossiping on a WhatsApp group is just that gossiping, they can't physically harm the teacher or be around the teacher all day to cause a big upset.

Yea what the parents are doing is shitty but I am a teacher and I'm sure plenty has been said about me by parents but truly I don't want to know nor would I want people going to my bosses over it.

Harford · 23/09/2021 00:59

I wouldn’t start screenshotting things and sending to school, I think that would be childish and really strange behaviour

agreed but my question is what exactly can the head/school do? It's parents prerogative to say what they want in a WhatsApp group.

echt · 23/09/2021 03:32

I wouldn’t start screenshotting things and sending to school, I think that would be childish and really strange behaviour

How childish? How strange?

Plumtree391 · 23/09/2021 11:21

@Skysblue

I wouldn’t start screenshotting things and sending to school, I think that would be childish and really strange behaviour.

Quite agree.

It sounds like an online witch's coven.

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