Page 7 | To report a class group chat.

Plumbuddle · 19/09/2021 17:59

Year six is the most stressed out year of primary for both kids and parents in my experience. It's made worse if there is part of the cohort whose kids are doing 11+ entrance exams. This term you are all going to be subjected to each other's projected competitiveness as a result of that.
Your child is soon going to leave this school, perhaps hoping to stay friends with other kids whose parents are on this WA group.
You have no duty to protect the employees of the school (although you would want to report anything that is really a criminal offence to the police of course, but that doesn't apply here). You do have a duty to protect your own child from the hostility of the other parents, which will flow thick and fast if you either pronounce opinions they don't like on a WA group or you go reporting mere gossip to a head teacher. Other parents are entitled to their nasty opinions. It sounds like the other parents have put you in a difficult position because of your PTA role but pointing that out is not going to make anyone feel better.
Seriously, because of your conflict of interest just leave the group and concentrate on your child's welfare. The child is so much more important than this teacher and bitchy parents can really make a difference to their parents' friendships (the others I mean, not you of course, you are not the problem here).

Plumbuddle · 19/09/2021 18:00

Sorry *children's friendships.

Pipsquiggle · 19/09/2021 18:01

So when on our class WhatsApp group (which is generally very nice and also incredibly useful), one of the mum's started getting personal against someone (in this case a pupil), I just said on WhatsApp 'this is a supportive parents /carers group. If there is an issue you should get in contact with the pupil's parents directly & /or the school'
The school mum went ape shit crazy at me but fortunately other members agreed with me and she stormed off the group. She rejoined about 6 months later, also she had form about kicking off about stuff so sometimes someone just had to be the voice of reason. I didn't slag her off and would have said it to her directly

helpIhateclothesshopping · 19/09/2021 18:19

The ringleader is probably feeling insecure, having a wobble about their children's chances in 11+ and wanting to have excuses lined up for someone to blame it on if they don't pass. Not very nice for the rest of you who either don't agree or don't want to get involved, or the teacher though. I like the idea of the letter of praise. Very lucky that our parent WhatsApp was a friendly one with the missing jumper, is it PE kit? What was the homework/spellings list? forgot book, Who wants to go out for a Christmas meal? type conversations.

Biscoffee · 19/09/2021 18:19

Op, I would go straight to the headmaster and tell him what’s going on. It’s what I did before the days of WhatsApp and a parent was gunrunner for a teacher and took to phoning other parents to rally the troops. I was having none of it as it was sheer vindictiveness and couldn’t go left as it was. I’ve no idea what the outcome was but I believe it was taken care of.

And during lockdown I was doing online schooling with some of my grandchildren when the parents group turned nasty so I just left and a few others followed suit. The people left soon got fed up and I’m told it all died a death.

1forAll74 · 19/09/2021 18:24

The school will be aware of the teacher, and her style of teaching, and probably glad that she is quite strict. Some complaining parents,may not like any strictness, so they all gang together to keep the ball rolling It's unfair on the teacher, as she probably has a lot to deal with,with some of the pupils.

MsFogi · 19/09/2021 18:25

I'd just put a message on the WhatsApp group to say you think that it's all getting nasty and people should take up individual concerns with the school rather than use the WhatsApp for them.

ChelleMum85 · 19/09/2021 18:31

@LondonElle

I have two boys one in year 6 of primary school. One older and in secondary school. A few parents have taken a immense dislike of the year 6 class teacher they believe she is too strict. Some of the children are about to take a grammar school test next week and certain parents are up in arms about the teacher upsetting their children by expecting too much off them? Raising her voice and therefore potentially causing them to fail their exams. I personally have no issues with the teacher and didn't when my older son was a pupil there last year. The messages about this teacher started last week with a lot of parents piling on and ripping her character to shreds. I thought it would blow over and didn't really want to get involved so kept my head down and didn't comment either way. However within the last few days the messages have taken quite a nasty turn, one parent in particular seems hell bent on rallying the troops to get this teacher out, she has accused the teacher of gross misconduct, emotional abuse and is threatening legal action. I wonder whether I should inform the school, I come from a family of teachers so this may be clouding my vision, I am also a member of the pta so have a good relationship with the school? Should I keep my nose out?

I think you're being biased. Teachers are not invincible to criticism, just like the rest of society. I've started to notice that teacher's can be fairly precious, particularly ones in their twenties.

As the saying goes - Talking about you, not to you. It's none of the schools business as to what these parents think until they put a complaint in. For all you know, just because you appreciate they are a teacher and you're thinking with a teacher mindset, it's not the same for everyone else and there could be a genuine concern and safe guarding issue with this teacher.

Let it run its course and don't concern yourself. Being on the PTA doesn't mean you need to brown nose the teacher's.

valleyplaza · 19/09/2021 18:34

Who is the admin on the group? Can they not pop a message in about the guidelines/conduct in the group and then remove anyone who ignores these?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 19/09/2021 18:35

I would also say nothing but discreetly let the school know

Onebabyandamadcat · 19/09/2021 18:36

OP can I just add that as a teacher who has experienced this type of abuse (and it is abuse), please report it with screenshots. When this happened to me when I was teaching a P5 class. Apparently I was "always shouting" I wasn't - I was telling off a number of children who had extreme behaviour issues using a variety of techniques but ultimately not giving in and letting them do what they wanted. I had "been cheeky" to a child (my pet hate of the variety of complaints that teachers face these days) and a few other imagined or misreported (by 9 year olds) things.

A parent from the WhatsApp group brought it to my HTs attention and they were concerned. They had a duty of care to me as a staff member. The parents were brought in and told how their behaviour was unacceptable and advised to stop before it was taken further. Unfortunately this particular year group had a number of challenging children with even more challenging parents. I was chased down a playground with a parent screaming at me, had another at the office demanding to see me to "kick my c* in" and then later that year when my pregnancy was obvious, a parent telling their child to "kick that baby out of her". Thanks to the initial report, I was on guard of this and had a bank of evidence to show why I would not be engaging alone with parents and why members of management took my class in and out at 9am and 3pm.

I'm not saying this is as extreme but please report this - the teacher deserves to be able to work without harassment and forewarned is forearmed - if they don't know this is happening, they may unknowingly place themselves in a dangerous situation. Abuse on SM (WhatsApp is social media) is not acceptable in any other walk of life, why should it be for a teacher?

Onebabyandamadcat · 19/09/2021 18:36

Sorry that did have paragraphs when I typed it 🤦

toomuchlaundry · 19/09/2021 18:37

I would say something on the group that there should not be a witch hunt. Not fair when the teacher can't defend themselves.

Would you let your child bitch about another child on a WhatsApp group?

Would it be okay if these parents were bitching about a child instead?

Abraxan · 19/09/2021 18:39

There has been a formal comment made the parent has posted her complaint and mentioned on the complaint ( to the head) that a lot of others on the WhatsApp group agree.

School will investigate but also be somewhat sceptical of the mother's 'everyone else agrees' claim. In our experience of dealing with this kind of mob mentality from a couple of parents in the past,, then when it came to a head it turned out that actually the complain was only upheld by 2 parents out of 30. The rest quickly backed away or weren't involved in the first place.

Livelovebehappy · 19/09/2021 18:40

chellemum85 fine for parents to have an opinion on how their children are taught. Absolutely nothing wrong in that. But debating it on a forum with others, and whipping people into a frenzy is not okay. It’s a pack bullying mentality, and is plain wrong. If someone has an issue with a teacher, take it through the proper channels and contact the head. Not bitch and backbite.

Miisty · 19/09/2021 18:42

Poor teacher how awful it’s bullying it cannot be doing much for her mental health .Social media has a lot to answer for Tell the head and have a meeting if it carries on Police may need too be involved

flibberyjibbery8 · 19/09/2021 18:43

I'd not say anything. Someone in our WA group keeps sending info to the Head, who then sends out messages, and its really shitty. Schools are not immune to criticism and grown adults can ask questions r or air concern amongst themselves. I'd archive the group and not get involved or leave it altogether. Or if you want to then say you feel uncomfortable. Sending it on wouldn't be an option to me.

thenovice · 19/09/2021 18:44

Keep well out of it

flibberyjibbery8 · 19/09/2021 18:44

^ Though it's nothing like you've described might I add. It was just questions over cleaning in the school.

Supergirl1958 · 19/09/2021 18:45

@Onebabyandamadcat

OP can I just add that as a teacher who has experienced this type of abuse (and it is abuse), please report it with screenshots. When this happened to me when I was teaching a P5 class. Apparently I was "always shouting" I wasn't - I was telling off a number of children who had extreme behaviour issues using a variety of techniques but ultimately not giving in and letting them do what they wanted. I had "been cheeky" to a child (my pet hate of the variety of complaints that teachers face these days) and a few other imagined or misreported (by 9 year olds) things.

A parent from the WhatsApp group brought it to my HTs attention and they were concerned. They had a duty of care to me as a staff member. The parents were brought in and told how their behaviour was unacceptable and advised to stop before it was taken further. Unfortunately this particular year group had a number of challenging children with even more challenging parents. I was chased down a playground with a parent screaming at me, had another at the office demanding to see me to "kick my c* in" and then later that year when my pregnancy was obvious, a parent telling their child to "kick that baby out of her". Thanks to the initial report, I was on guard of this and had a bank of evidence to show why I would not be engaging alone with parents and why members of management took my class in and out at 9am and 3pm.

I'm not saying this is as extreme but please report this - the teacher deserves to be able to work without harassment and forewarned is forearmed - if they don't know this is happening, they may unknowingly place themselves in a dangerous situation. Abuse on SM (WhatsApp is social media) is not acceptable in any other walk of life, why should it be for a teacher?

Bless you!

The sense of entitlement from some parents really gets me down! Some of the comments on this post are crazy! As a teacher too I absolutely agree! Report it! The poor woman has a job to do and doesn't deserve this abuse!! Neither did you! I've had similar though not to that extent! It's unwarranted, uncalled for and totally ridiculous!

Emmelina · 19/09/2021 18:56

I’d let the head know. A year 6 teacher with several kids taking entrance exams very soon is going to be nipping poor behaviour in the bud. The 11+ is brutal; most of the kids sitting it will have been under a private tutor to improve their chances! Imagine wasting all that money for their class teacher to allow them to do what they like?

itiscausingstress · 19/09/2021 19:02

@Suetully

Raising voice is nothing! Wait untold they go to secondary school

ime majority of times kids say teacher 'shouted' they are lying/exaggerating. Teacher just didn't let kids have their own way or weren't all nicely nice to the/pamper them. The word 'shouting' has lost all meaning.

Parents are very much like lynch mobs in primary schools these days with some having way too much time on their hands and worse is that school leadership pander to the demands of the parents. You need to take everything kids say with a large pinch of salt.

I have a terrible situation with a yr 6 teacher at the moment, it is incredibly stressful and she is in danger of causing psychological harm. Please do not underestimate the damage a teacher can do. The teachers up to this point have been great, there is a stark contrast and I am not exagerrating. But I am dealing with it via proper channels and not discussing it with other parents

itiscausingstress · 19/09/2021 19:04

I meant exaggerating

Mollymoostoo · 19/09/2021 19:13

@Suetully

I would leave the chat and take no further action, if you screenshot and send it to the school you could be making a huge issue out of a situation that might never actually escalate

this, I am a teacher and if I was in this situation I'd rather not know or have my boss know and have a big stressful investigation over it. It will blow over more than likely.

I agree, to screenshot and share without consent could get you into trouble Leave the group. You can speak to the school or board of governors but leave the group and don't give them chance to say you were part of it. Staying in the group might be construed as condoning.

Djifunrsn · 19/09/2021 19:15

I would keep well out of it and I'd leave the whatsapp group. Anyone questions you, say you had too many groups and your phone was going off all the time and you want a tech detox.

My kids are much older teens now and over the years they've had dozens of teachers. Mostly great, just one each that were extremely nasty. One of the nasty ones is still there, just bullying any kids that have the misfortune to be in her class (always spoiling for a scrap) and the other left after years' worth of sustained complaints. Statistically you'd expect this. 95% great people, 5% nasty. Just like everyone else.