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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report a class group chat.

220 replies

LondonElle · 18/09/2021 14:10

I have two boys one in year 6 of primary school.
One older and in secondary school.
A few parents have taken a immense dislike of the year 6 class teacher they believe she is too strict.
Some of the children are about to take a grammar school test next week and certain parents are up in arms about the teacher upsetting their children by expecting too much off them? Raising her voice and therefore potentially causing them to fail their exams. I personally have no issues with the teacher and didn't when my older son was a pupil there last year.
The messages about this teacher started last week with a lot of parents piling on and ripping her character to shreds.
I thought it would blow over and didn't really want to get involved so kept my head down and didn't comment either way.
However within the last few days the messages have taken quite a nasty turn, one parent in particular seems hell bent on rallying the troops to get this teacher out, she has accused the teacher of gross misconduct, emotional abuse and is threatening legal action.
I wonder whether I should inform the school, I come from a family of teachers so this may be clouding my vision, I am also a member of the pta so have a good relationship with the school?
Should I keep my nose out?

OP posts:
Rhinothunder · 18/09/2021 17:45

@MrsWooster

I think I’d say on the WhatsApp group that I felt very uncomfortable with the level of personal abuse towards the teacher and that genuine concerns should be taken to the Head to be explored. If people don’t step down off the drama spiral, I’d then be tempted to approach the head privately and say you have concerns that there’s a mob forming.
This is good advice
Siepie · 18/09/2021 17:59

@ElizaDarcysDeeds

Did everyone miss that the parent has already put in a complaint to the school and has told them everyone on the WhatsApp agrees with them? So the school have a complaint, know who made it and know it's being discussed on a WhatsApp. The OP has nothing to add to this.
This! The school already know about the group, and that people are complaining about the teacher in it.
bizboz · 18/09/2021 18:02

The school might be concerned by the type of language and the wording of the accusations on the WhatsApp chat.

LadyEloise1 · 18/09/2021 18:06

As@Summerfun54321 says, write a note complimenting the teacher.
It will make up a little for the rabble rouser and cohorts.

MrsScrubbithatescleaning · 18/09/2021 18:09

@PjsOn

There's someone on our class WhatsApp who also works at the school, she's a pain in the arse, anything you write on the WhatsApp she runs to report. I really wish she'd leave the chat. I once said something on there joking (it was obvious I was joking) but she reported it, I then got a call about it saying "someone" had reported what I said. It's a private group not a public forum and what I said was a joke (it was nothing offensive or anything).

I'd suggest you ignore and leave the chat if you feel like you have a conflict of interest. Like others have said it's just a bunch of mums on WhatsApp talking in a private group, I highly doubt anything will come of it so just let them get on with the moaning and remove yourself.

FFS, it’s not remotely private. It’s essentially another form of social media just like Snapchat, Messenger, Facebook. etc.

Do you accept that it’s illegal to share Porn images via WhatsApp?

If you say something defamatory about someone using one of these forms of communication, in extreme cases, you can be taken to court.

Some posters need a reality check!

Gilmorehill · 18/09/2021 18:11

I think you should be sharing your positive opinion if the teacher. The chat sounds like it’s become an echo chamber and an alternative point of view should be heard.

BeenThruMoreThanALilBit · 18/09/2021 18:14

FFS, it’s not remotely private.

Sort of. The person who did the reporting is afforded anonymity. The person who wrote the thing being reported, isn’t. That’s what people struggle with.

Best to say nothing at all.

IAAP · 18/09/2021 18:14

Screen shot and email them to the head. Sound like a witch hunt to me and said parent getting in their excuses of blame the teacher before their child fails the exam

IAAP · 18/09/2021 18:17

@EarringsandLipstick

Even if you have to do it anonymously, please do it

If you are going to do it, own it at least.

But as I said up thread, what's the point? The Head cannot do anything with that information. They can only respond directly to an approach from a parent which they will be well-equipped to do.

They can and do. This is mob whipping - get a group together. Making threats about getting her sacked etc parents have a code of conduct as well. This isn’t it.
Embroidery · 18/09/2021 18:19

Let the school know. So many teachers leave every year and workplace bullying is not a good thing to ignore.

HitMeWithYourRhythmicPrick · 18/09/2021 18:24

@CleverPolly3

Can’t believe all this bollocks about screenshots and reporting etc.

If the teacher has had a complaint made against her by any then whether you agree with it or not there is a process to follow

Leave them to it and don’t turn someone else’s opinions into your problems.

God, this.

My DC5 is in their final year at school, so I have been through the mill. Fortunately it was all pre-Whatthefuck class groups and so on. All this social media stuff does is encourage parents to behave like Year 8s.

If a parent has a problem/complaint with the school, they need to go through the correct procedures (which will be clearly advertised by the school).

Nobody is interested in anything else.

SarahBellam · 18/09/2021 18:24

I would say directly to the group that you've become uncomfortable with the direction the conversation has taken and that if someone has an issue they should address it directly with the teacher so that the teacher has an opportunity to resolve it. You might also want to say that you've never had any problems with her and you are satisfied with her performance. It is likely that a number of other parents feel the same way.

Loubiemoo · 18/09/2021 18:25

Some posters need a reality check

This. Some of you sound like you’re still at school.

OP report, let the school and potentially the police deal with it.

Droite · 18/09/2021 18:34

It would have been helpful if you had intervened at an early stage, given that you have much more experience of the teacher than any of the current Y6 parents. That might have helped to prevent a head of steam building. But it may well be worth doing it now - after all, if they really believe this teacher's approach involves emotional abuse, you are in an excellent position to say that none of last year's parents had an issue (I assume) and last year's class survived just fine.

ChloeDecker · 18/09/2021 18:56

@EarringsandLipstick

If it's on the internet it's public property that's why sane people put little on the internet they wouldn't want made public.

It's not on the Internet 🙄 WhatsApp is .. an app

Sorry. Just to be pedantic, Whats App is on the Internet. It needs an internet connection and whilst it does have end to end encryption, it is therefore not impossible to hack via the Internet.

Whilst there has been debate about it being social media, in its current guise, WhatsApp can be considered as social media due to its wide range of social features—messaging, profile creation, photo/video sharing, status updates, stories, and more and in fact, when Facebook took it over, marketed it as social media.

Hcolhcsra · 18/09/2021 18:56

Totally agree with those who say don't report. I'm a teacher a. I wouldn't want to know b. What do you expect the school to do? They'll send out some generic please don't discuss the school on social media and that's about it unless the heads got the balls to go direct to the guilty parent, in which case expect it to get nasty.

Autumncoming · 18/09/2021 19:06

Screenshot everything and send to head.
Don't want to give to many details as outing but I witnessed a similar situation which escalated and a teacher being directly assaulted, it was bad and everyone involved in the whatsapp group, even if innocent of comments got visits from the police and put on a watch list by the school.
Don't be a bystander in abuse. It needs nipping in the bud and the teacher protected.

2bazookas · 18/09/2021 19:16

I would inform the school Head Teacher

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 18/09/2021 20:14

*CleverPolly3
Can’t believe all this bollocks about screenshots and reporting etc.

If the teacher has had a complaint made against her by any then whether you agree with it or not there is a process to follow

Leave them to it and don’t turn someone else’s opinions into your problems*

This is incorrect. I was teaching for 25 years.

The school will have a cyber bullying policy that the parents will have agreed to. It is assumed that by sending your child to a certain school you are accepting the rules. I think all social media guidance is on school websites.

The teacher hasn’t had a formal complaint against her. She has had a load of miseries moaning about her.

The parents are in the wrong not the teacher.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 18/09/2021 20:19

My school has a vexatious communication policy.

Ultimately if a parent ( or group of parents) persist in the same way, then if it cannot be solved via communication between parents and school, then ultimately the school will seek legal advice in assisting a move to another school for the child of the offending parent(s)

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 18/09/2021 20:19

And they are clear it is about parents abusing staff

panauchocolat · 19/09/2021 17:41

Poor teacher. I think that she is pushing them for their best. Nothing else.
These are the parents raising the snowflake self entitled generation that gets offended by anyone speaking a bit louder and trying to make them a better human being.
Shame on them ! Pure bullies ! If it was the other way round they would be demanding that teacher to be sacked.
Please screen shot and maybe who knows the teacher can decide to sue these horrible parents… what sort of role models they are trying to be over protecting their “babies”
horrible !! Horrible !!

bakingdemon · 19/09/2021 17:48

Have you said anything on the group? There is often a silent and sane majority who are intimidated by the noisy posters on these groups who could be coaxed out of their shells if one person started taking a contrary view. Could that be you?

JBSA · 19/09/2021 17:49

As a former Year 6 teacher and Teachers' Union Official, I am furious on this teacher's behalf! I was known as "strict" which is why I was given Y6 (can't have a softie walk-over in that role). So far as I know in ten years there was never a complaint about my strictness - parents used to tell me how much they appreciated it and how it meant their children could get on with their work without interruption from disruptive pupils.
Some parents like to get their own back on teachers who they perceive as a whole (rather than individuals) due to an unhappy experience at school themselves.

In your shoes, I should just report to the WhatsApp group that both your children have been extremely happy in Miss X's classes and you are unable to join in with the condemnation. I'm willing to bet there are other parents who agree with you but are too frightened to say so until someone else speaks out.

I might also pop in casually to let the Head know that some parents seem out to get Miss X, who in your experience has not put a foot wrong. Just that. Leave it there. Leave the WhatsApp group. You won't need to see any horrible parents much in the future as your child will be leaving in the summer and going to secondary school.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 19/09/2021 17:54

I would, and have, informed school that parents have been posting negatively about the school and school procedures, although it stopped short of personal attacks on any specific teacher (apart from the head, that is). This was on FB though, not on any private Whatsapp group.
No screenshots were taken - I just wanted the school to be aware that the negativity was being spread.
I'm also on the "PTA" (not called that in Australia) and felt that I also had a responsibility, as one of the liaison people between parents/community and the school, to make them aware of the situation.

I think that what you have going on with this parent group is very akin to a witch hunt and generally employers don't take kindly to these (understandably!)
The parent has made their formal complaint - but unless other parents also make a formal complaint then the school is not very likely to believe that "all the other parents in the Whatsapp group agree". They can only base their reaction on the actual formal complaint, not on gossip and hearsay. But I also have no doubt that they'd prefer to know that other parents have been discussing, and that some of you are not in agreement with the complaint.