Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report a class group chat.

220 replies

LondonElle · 18/09/2021 14:10

I have two boys one in year 6 of primary school.
One older and in secondary school.
A few parents have taken a immense dislike of the year 6 class teacher they believe she is too strict.
Some of the children are about to take a grammar school test next week and certain parents are up in arms about the teacher upsetting their children by expecting too much off them? Raising her voice and therefore potentially causing them to fail their exams. I personally have no issues with the teacher and didn't when my older son was a pupil there last year.
The messages about this teacher started last week with a lot of parents piling on and ripping her character to shreds.
I thought it would blow over and didn't really want to get involved so kept my head down and didn't comment either way.
However within the last few days the messages have taken quite a nasty turn, one parent in particular seems hell bent on rallying the troops to get this teacher out, she has accused the teacher of gross misconduct, emotional abuse and is threatening legal action.
I wonder whether I should inform the school, I come from a family of teachers so this may be clouding my vision, I am also a member of the pta so have a good relationship with the school?
Should I keep my nose out?

OP posts:
Notaroadrunner · 18/09/2021 15:15

I might mention it to the school but I wouldn't be sending screenshots. If these people are hell bent on getting the teacher out, they'll have to do more than whinge on a whatsapp group. Their intentions will be made known to the school soon enough, with or without your involvement.

AlexaShutUp · 18/09/2021 15:17

@Summerfun54321

Also, I think it’s a massive breach of trust to send in a screenshot of a private parents only discussion into school. If the parents thought their conversations would be made available directly to the head teacher, chances are they’d have never written them. Just leave the group.
Well, the parents would only have themselves to blame for that, really. I make it my policy not to put stuff in writing about anyone that I wouldn't be happy to share with the individual in question. You can't just bitch on social media and assume that it will go nowhere.

I understand the argument about not escalating it for the teacher's sake. Not sure what I would do, but if I wasn't going to flag to the headteacher, I think I'd have to say something on the group itself.

Suetully · 18/09/2021 15:18

There has been a formal comment made the parent has posted her complaint and mentioned on the complaint ( to the head) that a lot of others on the WhatsApp group agree.
She says she is awaiting her response and advising others to email a complaint also

Then likely most of the others won't complain, they just go along with the emotive ring leader. And the ring leader will just look eccentric to the school. Schools only listen to a parent if the complaint is about their child, they can't speak for all the parents or go on hearsay. The complaint has to be specific really.

Summerfun54321 · 18/09/2021 15:18

Just write your own letter saying you’re aware there’s been a complaint and write a letter of praise about the teacher instead. It’d be nice for the teacher to know not everything thinks she’s shit, but you can’t control what others do.

Suetully · 18/09/2021 15:20

The school was already aware of the problems as many parents had complained. I felt sorry for the teacher as she was a good teacher

what were the complaints and what was the outcome?

Suetully · 18/09/2021 15:23

I make it my policy not to put stuff in writing about anyone that I wouldn't be happy to share with the individual in question. You can't just bitch on social media and assume that it will go nowhere

This. if adults have a complaint/concern then go to the teacher or the management like adults. The whole mobbing on sm is just pathetic and juvenile.

NewlyGranny · 18/09/2021 15:24

Alert the headteacher, with screenshots. This is one big danger of SM. I have been involved at a higher level when parents were going into a feeding frenzy about a teacher who hadn't even started work yet. It was deeply unpleasant and very ugly.

Parents with concerns should be raising them with the school directly, not gossipping in corners and working each other up like this. You can just tell what these people were like when they were at school themselves!

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 18/09/2021 15:30

Wow I would hate this. We have a parents WhatsApp group and I feel so lucky, it's only used for 'it is PE day today?' or 'has someone got Xs jumper?' sort of thing. No chat, no silly memes and definitely no personal stuff or chat about teachers etc.

Ours too. We do chat about things but absolutely no teacher bashing. The most we talk about their teachers is discussing what we think they’d like as a present.

@LondonElle, I am a teacher and I’m not sure what I would want to happen here. I think I’d be incredibly hurt to know the parents were forming a mob against me. My class are proving a bit rowdy at the moment so I’ve had to raise my voice over them - definitely not shouting at them! - and have had a few stern words about behaviour expectations. It’s the beginning of the year so it’s always a bit up and down. It would be nice to know that not all parents thought the same though if it did come to our attention that they’d complained about me.

EarringsandLipstick · 18/09/2021 15:31

Stay out of it. Do not screenshot & share information.

While you might have good intentions, the head teacher will be well able to deal with any complaints which will most likely be from one person; they don't need your heads-up.

Personally, I would post on the chat to say I don't agree / feel people should pull back, if that's what I thought. I wouldn't be comfortable going behind their backs & sharing messages, regardless of content. I'd be honest to their faces (as such).

GreySweater · 18/09/2021 15:31

I would alert the head teacher face to face or via phone. I would not recommend sending a screenshot as you don't have a guarantee that this wouldn't 'get out' to the group and be identifiable as you. Given the group sound like they have gotten themselves into a frenzy, don't do anything that might end up getting on 'the wrong side' of them. But do make your concerns known to the school privately.

Daisyandroses · 18/09/2021 15:32

It depends what you’re comfortable with but I would put something in the group if a complaint has already been made and it’s getting a bit out of hand.

Along the lines of. ‘Let’s see what the school say regarding the complaints, I think it would be better if we let them deal with it now rather than voice too much over WhatsApp’.

santabetterwashhishands · 18/09/2021 15:33

I would it's bullying 🤷‍♀️

newusername2009 · 18/09/2021 15:35

I had this on a WhatsApp group and did as someone above suggested. Said not fair to talk about teacher behind her back when she couldn’t defend herself so they should go and address through proper channels. It quietened down but who knows if there was just another group without me 😂

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 18/09/2021 15:38

I'd just keep well out.

NewlyGranny · 18/09/2021 15:40

If people are advising OP to hold back out of fear of retaliation from the instigators of this nastiness, surely it shows they are bullies? And how will the head know what's being said if nobody screenshots and shares - osmosis? Thought transference?

This mess needs some sunlight and fresh air on it. It's still only September!

Fawnor · 18/09/2021 15:40

I would say something on the group. It's cowardly not to.

MajorCarolDanvers · 18/09/2021 15:43

I would let the school know.

I'd also post a message to the WhatsApp group asking people (nicely) to refrain from that kind of conversation in the group.

WeAllHaveWings · 18/09/2021 15:45

@LondonElle

There has been a formal comment made the parent has posted her complaint and mentioned on the complaint ( to the head) that a lot of others on the WhatsApp group agree. She says she is awaiting her response and advising others to email a complaint also.
If she has put in a complaint and already told the school there is a WhatsApp conversation going on (naively thinking it will strengthen her case, while actually it just reflects poorly on her) the head will deal with it.
Beautiful3 · 18/09/2021 15:49

I have seen something similar, I took screen shots and emailed the head. That's what you should do.

EarringsandLipstick · 18/09/2021 15:51

@santabetterwashhishands

I would it's bullying 🤷‍♀️
It's horrible behaviour, but who is being bullied?
DilysPhyllis · 18/09/2021 15:53

I would absolutely report to school and would screenshot the messages in case school ask for proof. It should be in the school's home school contract that parents do not negatively discuss school on social media including WhatsApp and bring any grievances directly to school to deal with. Personally I would alsoleave the whatsapp group, I absolutely would not want be associated with those people.

EarringsandLipstick · 18/09/2021 15:53

And how will the head know what's being said if nobody screenshots and shares - osmosis? Thought transference?

Why would a head want to know? There is nothing that they can do about a private what's app group 🤷🏻‍♀️

The head will know if a complaint is made. They can deal with it then

Any school principal I know would run a mile from getting invoked in this.

themidnighttrain · 18/09/2021 15:54

@MajorCarolDanvers

I would let the school know.

I'd also post a message to the WhatsApp group asking people (nicely) to refrain from that kind of conversation in the group.

The OP will probably get removed, or a second, secret group will start up.

I agree with the previous advice of sending in a letter of praise if you feel it's justified and believe she is a good teacher. If nothing is going on other than normal start of term rowdiness, the teacher is probably not having a fun time controlling the class, and could do with the boost.

CleverPolly3 · 18/09/2021 15:55

Can’t believe all this bollocks about screenshots and reporting etc.

If the teacher has had a complaint made against her by any then whether you agree with it or not there is a process to follow

Leave them to it and don’t turn someone else’s opinions into your problems.

EarringsandLipstick · 18/09/2021 15:56

@DilysPhyllis

I would absolutely report to school and would screenshot the messages in case school ask for proof. It should be in the school's home school contract that parents do not negatively discuss school on social media including WhatsApp and bring any grievances directly to school to deal with. Personally I would alsoleave the whatsapp group, I absolutely would not want be associated with those people.
Christ.

It's not social media as it's not open & accessible to random people eg Twitter or FB.

It's a messaging service. This is a private group.

I don't agree at all with their behaviour, it's horrible. I'd call them out directly but screenshotting & sending to the principal is horrible.

And there's literally nothing the principal can do. Horrible or not, the parents are perfectly entitled to post what they want on a group they belong to.