To ask: what makes you know that your DP really loves

[TracyLords]

Fed up a bit with all the stories of shit DPS on MN. So let’s hear about the good ones.

I realized DH was a loving guy when we had been dating a few months and we’re going to the cinema. Before we left the house he asked if I remembered my glasses as otherwise I wouldn’t see the screen properly and would get a sore head.

When pregnant and over emotional I was crying because no clothes fitted or looked nice on me. He just nodded. A while later he came over with his iPad. He had been on ASOS selecting maternity wear in my size and style and just was looking for final approval of the items before ordering

My partner still buys me flowers every other week when he does the food shopping, he always tops up my water bottle and puts it in the fridge for the morning, and when I get new clothes or try a new outfit on he always wants me to give him a little catwalk. He's a very selfless man, who enjoys listening to my rants and goes above and beyond to ensure that we are equal in terms or parenting. He's a fierce ally for feminism too.

My bloke never criticises me. He never tells me I am ugly or a whore. He calls me during the day just to see if I am OK and he calls me on the way home.
Little things.

When I read some of the godawful things people do to each other on this forum I realise I am lucky.

When I woke up with a jump in the middle of the night wondering why my face was a bit moist (bear with me 🤣) - he'd heard a mosquito buzzing around the room, so had daubed me with insect repellent so I wouldn't get bitten in my sleep ♥️

I would consider not being called a whore or ugly as pretty standard, not lucky!

When 2 of my dc wanted to live here ft he went and collected them from exh's house. No Big Discussion needed... He is a great dsf..
When dd needed a home for her ddog we took her in. Dh likely bit his tongue a bit as we had 3 already but if anything she is his favourite now!!
He buys me chocolate for when my period is due every month!!

He gets out of bed to defrost my car on winter mornings, makes me hot chocolate if I've been out in the cold, buys me little presents 'just because', tells me I look lovely if I'm wearing something new, sends me pictures on Pinterest of things he thinks will make me smile, and loads more.

He's ace

Oh, and he always catches spiders in the house without complaint even though he probably secretly thinks my raging phobia is silly (I know it's irrational).

He does 90% of the housework, despite having an intense FT job and PT studying. I have a chronic health condition and simply can’t function after a full day at work. By him looking after the house I can work full time in a job I love which gives me self worth and purpose. If he didn’t, I would have to drop PT and my chosen career doesn’t have this option.

He kisses me on the head when he thinks I'm asleep

Last night our dd was screaming her head for no reason til 4am. I'm the sahm and he was awake with me taking it turns to comfort her and telling me we are a team.
He texts me when he's upstairs working to tell me he loves me.
He tells me pretty much every day how happy he is to be with me and how great life is together.
When we met I already had my DS and my DP has pretty much taken him on as his own, there is no quibbles over finances, he even asked for my DSs bank details the other day as he said he should start putting money away for him as he does for our DD.
When I ask if I look OK before heading out, he says no you look great.
He loves me and my body, has never once said anything mean or horrible about the way I look and I'm overweight.
Lockdown made us stronger than ever.

It really makes me sad to read some of the shit that women put up with on here and I realise how blessed I am.

When we're apart (which for us, is hardly ever.. we are colleagues aswell as husband and wife!) He constantly keeps in touch and phones/messages me. It is not him keeping an eye either.. I am a very shy hermit type.. so he trusts me! We just always keep in touch.

I am very hormonal but I am a bit weepy reading these.

During the height of lockdown when I was going bonkers and totally miserable, he turned our garden into a 'restaurant' and made us pretend that we'd gone out for supper, served the champagne pretending to be a snooty French waiter.

He has occasionally had to make three different trips to the shops because I've made an incomplete list for a recipe.

He has in jokes with my family remembers and he treats them like his own, never resents the fact that we're close knit and I like to visit home a lot.

Makes sure there's constantly cold water in the fridge because I hate ambient water.

By default he lets me have the window seat on a plane or train.

He knows me more than I know myself.
The way he is with our DD absolutely floors me, daily. He's an amazing father.
I'm pregnant with our second and damn he's put up with some of my shittest moments. Nothing is ever too much trouble, even if he's had an awful day at work, me and our DD are his first priority. I'm finally marrying the man in May and I cannot wait. ❤

This is such a lovely thread.

This morning DH set me up a desk in his office (instead of where I usually work downstairs) because I was having a bad day and was sad and weepy, saying I clearly needed to be in the Fun Office - and he's kept up a steady stream of brews, jokes, my favourite music, and has just gone to collect my favourite lunch.

When I had a meltdown about my outfit and how I looked before an event a few weeks ago, he ran me a bubble bath and when I got out he handed me a warm towel from the dryer and he'd set up my dressing table with champagne, strawberries, laid my makeup out for me.

He drove me 200 miles just to say goodbye to my childhood cat who was being put down, even though I'd seen him 2 days before.

He completely reorganised our kitchen so I can reach the things I use most (I'm a shortarse) and when I noticed he was so PROUD and happy that I could get to stuff.

But he just also shows every day that he really gets me and what's important to me - he's honestly the very best man I know. He has faults, of course, but he actively loves me every day, and the difference between that and "Of course I love you" with no actual showing of it is huge.

He looks after my other loves in my life, my classic cars. He checks them over every week and maintains them for me. Has even just paid for a garage to keep them in.

I am not into flowers and chocolates, but he brings me home polishes and nuts and bolts and tools. Now that's my kind of man.

@Macncheeseballs

I would consider not being called a whore or ugly as pretty standard, not lucky!

Hmmm. Seems a very basic requirement. 🤔

This is such a nice thread!

He took on my DS no questions asked. Doesn't treat him any differently to our DS that we have together. I don't think I've gone one day in the last six years without laughing hysterically at him. That literally all I need to do is make one comment about being shattered, and he's run a bath for me/taken the kids out/taken over whatever I was doing so that I could go and sit down. That despite the fact I'm a SAHM and he works full time he still gets up with DS at night even though I insist I do it. I don't think I've ever heard him once complain, even when things are really hard. Oh, and when he thinks I'm asleep he strokes my face and tells me how beautiful I am.

This thread is lovely.

We say I love you to each other multiple times a day but we also show it. My DH buys me flowers regularly just because I love them, he removes any insect or spider even though he doesn't like them but I am completely terrified and countless other little things each day, but also the big things. He has been an absolute rock for my family when my DF got ill and sadly died a few months ago, he also treats my DB like a brother and has so much time for him, my DB really comes out of his shell with him. It's the tiny acts of kindness we show each other each day but also the important big things, I just know that we're a team.

I do find it very sad reading some of the behaviour women on here are on the receiving end of, whilst being financially trapped in unkind relationships.

Ah lovely 😊 reading all these and living vicariously through your relationships!

Buys me flowers all the time.
Constantly tells me that I am beautiful and desirable.
Keeps in touch all the time even when busy and sends lovely texts.
Treats me often to jewellery and material.
Loves my family and they adore him.

Much, much more

He never tells me I am ugly or a whore

This sounds like a lyric from a country and western song!

You can set your bar a bit higher, love.

I'm a SAHM and he works full time. When our DDs were newborns he ALWAYS got up with then in the night for bottles and then cuddled them back to sleep (which took hours with DD1) because he knew I coped dreadfully on little sleep. Does all of the washing up and cleans the kitchen when he gets home from work so I can relax. Gets up extra early in the morning to defrost my car and move it round from the back of the house so we can hop straight in for the school run. He isn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but we're very lucky to have him as a husband/father.

He tidies up after me without moaning, he brings me "I saw this and thought of you" gifts, he always tells me how beautiful I am, when I miss a TV programme or film because I've fallen asleep on the sofa (AGAIN!!) he just calls me a sleepyhead and sends me off to bed, and most importantly, he treats my DS like his own child and has done without complaint for over ten years.

He doesn't really do grand gestures or big declarations he's just there, quietly and steadily always there. If something happens, good or bad, he's the first person I think to ring or text and he's the same with me.

He puts up with my stupid shit and we have weird in-jokes. When he's working upstairs, I can't pass the room without going in and bugging him. I randomly rub my bottom on him in blatant ways (not as creepy as it sounds, it's done in a comedy way). The more unexpected I look, the sexier he'll pretend to find me - the time when DC puked into my lap and he pretended it was hottest I'd ever looked. Gravity sometimes randomly malfunctions and I go all wibbly wobbly, he catches me before I hit the floor. He let's me perve on him while he's cutting the grass and I know he does the same to me when I'm doing DIY.

We've been together so long that I can tell him volumes about a person/situation/how I'm feeling with just a glance or a gesture and he gets it.

DH sleeps in the same room as 20 month old who still gets up at night because I don't do well without proper sleep. He also does the cleaning and picks & drops children to school & nursery most days. Amongst many other things, he's very affectionate (while I'm not so much!)