To ask: what makes you know that your DP really loves

[TracyLords]

Fed up a bit with all the stories of shit DPS on MN. So let’s hear about the good ones.

I realized DH was a loving guy when we had been dating a few months and we’re going to the cinema. Before we left the house he asked if I remembered my glasses as otherwise I wouldn’t see the screen properly and would get a sore head.

When pregnant and over emotional I was crying because no clothes fitted or looked nice on me. He just nodded. A while later he came over with his iPad. He had been on ASOS selecting maternity wear in my size and style and just was looking for final approval of the items before ordering

Makes me cup of tea and brings it up to bed every morning. Even when we are in holiday or camping and it's bloody freezing out of the duvet

My DH is there, quietly in the background ready to help or step in wherever I need him to.

He isn't one for big gestures but the little things he does are his way of telling me over and over again how much he loves me.

He brings me a cup of tea in bed first thing in the morning, every morning except his birthday and father's day 🤣 And brings me wine and pudding on the sofa every evening after the children have gone to bed! The rest of my day is spent running round sorting everyone else out so to have the little bit of pampering at the start and end of the day is nice.

He knows how badly I need my sleep (underactive thyroid) so he gets up with DS every single morning and lets me sleep, and is usually the first to go in to him if he wakes at night even though he works full time (from home) and I’m currently a SAHM. He makes me a cup of tea every morning too, and makes dinner for both of us most evenings after DS is in bed. He does the weekly supermarket shop and always brings home my favourite pastries. He’s not perfect and we’ve had some rough times, it took a lot of growth to get where we are but he’s so good to us.

My own Dad was an alcoholic and he and my Mum divorced when I was two and he was largely absent from my life until I was an adult, but DH has shown me what a good husband and a good father looks like.

He saves my life from the dreaded spiders and crane flies (I save his life from bee's and wasps!)

He works hard to support our family so I can work part time around the kids, no questions on each occasion when I have said I need to reduce hours or work days to cover the kids

He's not great at replying to texts but if I call him at work he answers straight away everytime and will drop everything to come if I need him, no matter what

He sends me to bed in the afternoon if I am grouchy tired or sends me out shopping if I am going stir crazy in the house or with the kids

Neither of us are romantic as such but he has my back every single time

Dh is so unaffectionate and not slightly romantic but
Dd was just turned one when we met and he didn’t even flinch when she started calling him daddy. When I fell pregnant 3 years later , somebody asked him did he think he’d feel differently about her when his new baby was born. Il never forget the look on his face when he replied why? do you like one of your children more than the other ? He was furious at the suggestion .

He regularly goes to about 3 different shops every Friday to get me nik naks and archers&lemonade cans cause he knows i like them

He’s made every nail appointment I’ve had for the past 3 years . I asked him to make one appointment as I was so busy and kept forgetting..Its now gotten to the point where I don’t even have my nail ladies new number and she calls him secretary

My favourite is that he gets up at 5am with the kids though since I’m up in the night with them . Every single weekend without fail. He’s had 2 lie ins since we’ve been together

He’s not really a romantic guy, one to remember Valentine’s Day which is fine by me I don’t much care for flowers and commercial stuff, but it’s the small things, he brings me the treats that he knows I like from the shop when I’ve had a sucky day.

He’s an incredible father, even though our daughter sleeps through the night he still gets up with her an hour early so I can have a lie in. Half the housework (well more than half if I’m honest) is done without question or prompt. I feel like he’s a true partner in that respect.

He doesn’t hold grudges, and he’s put up with a countless amount of shit from my mother over the years, but still when my dad passed away he did more for her than her own son.

We had some work done to the house recently which meant disruption, drilling and dust in the study. My bookcase full of books are already fairly dusty from when we had the room painted months ago.

I love my books. I was quite stressed over the prospect of them getting even dustier. Woke up the next morning to find that he had wrestled a plastic mattress protector over the book case and put brown tape all over it to protect my precious books. 😭

Since getting pregnant with DC3 I've struggled to clean the house. He helped me clean every weekend despite working full time (I'm a SAHM) and then told me to find a cleaner to help me. I asked him how many hours we should ask the cleaner to do and he said "however many you want" 💎 ❤️

I hope those trapped in crappy and abusive relationships read these messages and realise there are some amazing men out there. X

Tells me I'm beautiful.
Tells me every day how much he loves me.
Got up with ds 3 times in the night so I could sleep uninterrupted.
I'm pregnant so he now helps with the food shopping.
Buys me chocolate.
Reaches out to hold my hand when we are out walking together.
Does loads around the house (physically doing stuff as well as sharing the mental load) despite having a stressful and exhausting nhs job.
Loads more, I'm incredibly lucky. So nice to read others' posts too.

I found a gem too. Married 42 yrs. Brekfast in bed every morning brought kids to school. Collected from babysitter and dinner cooked. Enabled me to start my own business and progress . Flowers every week and romantic dinners.Great to our ds and gcs. An only son but a fantastic person. Everything my Dad was not. A true gentleman.

This is such a nice and uplifting thread.

Reminds you there is so many nice people and couples!

My partner is no different,she finishes mysentences,literally knows me better than I knows myself.

Brings me home "seen this and thought of you" gifts,whether that be a new top or a bar or chocolate. But luckily for me she also does it for my sister and will host my sister (and the rest of my family) at the drop of a hat.

We are a team and everything we do compliments the other in regards to running the house etc.

I love the days we get to wfh together and have tea and lunch breaks together or the days I nip home on my lunch and she was the table set and lunch made so I can fit it in in 30mins.

He knows me better than I know myself at times, and loves me none the less.
He has always had my back

I'm in awe of his ability to engage with people ... anybody, whereas I am quite socially reticent. In contrast he has no practical sense at all and I have. We're a good team.

A few days after the big thread on here about in-laws disturbing the OP while WFH, my FIL dropped round. I was working but DH was in the bathroom so I went to answer the door (expected the postman).

DH came down and said hello to his Dad, said "sorry do you need to get back to work?" and as I headed upstairs I heard him saying "she's in the middle of work you know".

It isn't the first time either, another day his Dad popped in and I could hear him saying I was working then a few minutes later he knocked on my office door and asked if I could spare a few minutes as his dad wanted to speak to us both.

I hear so many people complaining about their DH when they are WFH but he is so good, not just leaving me alone, but supplying me with regular coffees, and having a sociable lunch break too.

Years ago I was really ill
DP is near phobic about hospitals etc but got over it to support me
He was the only person I wanted with me when I was so ill in hospital - he sensed what I needed and sometimes would just spend hours sat with me - holding me or stroking my face to soothe me

Such a great thread, it should be saved somehow and referenced for posters with s**t partners. There is a lot of variety, but the theme of “thoughtfulness” shines through.
My DP is great - an example tonight -I came home dog-tired, planning to do the seasonal clean of a roof window in our garden room ( think charnel house for flies & spiders).I walked through the door to the sound of the hoover & DP on step-ladder. He did the whole job without even being asked - marvellous!

My DH is always so thoughtful and kind. Messages me in the middle of the day whilst working to make sure I'm having a good day. Always thanks me for doing something around the house or cooking him dinner, will do stuff himself without me asking and if he can see I'm struggling with run me a bath let me relax and cook for me himself.

Hes always telling me he loves him and giving me cuddles and other types of affection.

One new year when we were both younger I'd worn high heels that by the end of the night I couldn't walk in. It was snowing so he walked home in his socks so I could ware his shoes.

He does all the washing up before I can as know I struggle with bits floating around my hands.

I'm currently pregnant and really have struggled with sickness. He'd get up and male me breakfast every morning that I could eat so tje smells of the kitchen wouldn't set me off.

This week I've been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I've found it so hard.. and the first thing he did was research and read all about it and go and do a whole shop of GD friendly food and find little GD friendly treats that he knew I would like.

Hes just amazing. He's never nasty if we argue, never once has called me anything nasty in the heat of the moment. He goes out of his way to help my parents out when they need it. I absolutely love him to bits.

I get a cup of tea in bed every morning. On his days off, I get breakfast in bed too (usually something on toast, it's beans today).

We've been together over 30 years and he was the first man to treat me like his equal. As a teen I dated flash, cocky boys who liked what I looked like but didn't actually like me. He tells me that I am the cleverest person he knows and that I can achieve anything that I want to.

In short, he became my best friend and has remained so ever since.

@Anordinarymum

My bloke never criticises me. He never tells me I am ugly or a whore. He calls me during the day just to see if I am OK and he calls me on the way home. Little things.

When I read some of the godawful things people do to each other on this forum I realise I am lucky.

I'm kind of hoping this is a joke?

On Wednesday I hadn't slept - menopause... and was exhausted. When I got out of work at the end of my shift, he was there in the car ( I work literally 7 min walk from home), he'd delayed his lunch til I finished, just to take me home.

Totally unexpected, he is so thoughtful, I feel cherished.

DH will remember something I mentioned in passing weeks/months ago and buy it for me for birthday/Christmas/anniversary/‘just because’
He tells me all the time how awesome I am and how much he loves me.

Mine just always thinks of my happiness above his own. He's stuck with through some big mistakes on my part and never made me feel bad about them.

He is always willing to help my family .

However many items of sequin clothing I buy he never gets annoyed or questions if maybe I have enough now

DH is my absolutely favorite topic but I’ll try to keep this short

He’s just the best person I’ve ever encountered. In 20 years, I’ve never once caught him lying to me, even white lies. He just does what he says he will. If it’s something he can’t do, he’ll tell you- there’s no game playing or messing about.
It makes me feel very, very secure because I’ve never had to second-guess his intentions.

He knows I can’t sleep with cold feet so, in winter, he puts a hot water bottle on my side of the bed an hour before I get in. Then, early in the morning, he replaces it with a fresh hot water bottle so that I don’t stir and can’t get back to sleep because of cold feet.

He just solves problems without any fuss or attention-seeking. He’s hugely knowledgeable about the most random things so, if I have a problem, he’ll know how to fix it.
Even little things- like, he just knows what lightbulbs every light in the house needs so if the bulb goes in the fridge, he’ll just have a spare in the drawer.
If it was up to me, our fridge would remain light-less

He’s incredibly good to my family. After my mother had a heart attack and we moved in to care for her, the last thing he did every night was lay out all of her breakfast dishes and medication for the next morning.

He’s very shy but he attracts people to him. He messaged me last week to say he was delayed in the local supermarket. Turns out he was doing our shopping and an elderly woman asked him to help her get something from a high shelf (he’s very tall) so he ended up doing her shopping for her, carrying her basket, packing her bags, and then walked her and her bags home.
She gave him a pound

He stores up things from his day to tell me and so we never run out of things to chat about. It could be anything from some gossip at work to something he read on Twitter or a fact heard on the radio.
I love that he’s always thinking about me and his default is to file things away to tell me later.

Anyway, I adore him and he’s all mine so I feel very lucky.

Within 3 weeks of meeting, my mum has a massive heart attack and was on life support for almost 6 weeks - he never left my side, looked after me, drove me to and from the hospital, fed my cats and say up all night whilst I sobbed into his shoulder.
We got married a year later, 16 years on with 6 kids and he’s still just as amazing 😻