To be sick to death of being told I look young

[Ellavaday]

I’m 30, but get mistaken for much younger pretty much daily. I’ve recently started a new job and meeting different people which likely adds to it.
It’s always the same, “So, do you live at home with your parents?”
“So are you at college/uni?”
Then when I tell them my situation and age, “You look soo young! You look like you’re just out of school(etc).”

I didn’t mind it at first but it’s getting on my nerves now, it’s every single person I meet. Also the way they’re acting as if 30 is ancient. I’m sure people will say to enjoy it while it lasts and that I’m lucky, and I get that, but it’s just too much sometimes.

The next thing is that I constantly get referred to as cute and adorable. My partner works in a pub and has some female colleagues who are 20-22.
I’ve never spoken to any of them beyond a hi and ordering a drink, but They’ve apparently said to him ‘She’s soo cute/she’s adorable!”
If they’d said kind/friendly/nice etc ok, but it just feels like something you’d say to a puppy or a baby.

There was some concert coming up in which it was techno/drum and bass sort of music. My boyfriend mentioned it to this female colleague and then said he’d invited me too, and apparently she went ‘Oh wow, I can’t really imagine her liking that sort of music’ and laughed.

So because you’ve seen me for all of 10 seconds in a bar you know all of my music tastes? It’s not the first time I’ve heard that, just because I’m quiet and don’t drink etc people ‘can’t imagine me’ liking rap/hip hop/metal etc.
Just such a weird thing to say.

Rant over, does anyone else get this? I know there’s worse stuff in the world but it does irritate me now.

Family member still lives at home, single and no kids either which makes it worse 😐

I hear you OP.

I had this in my 20s and it was incredibly annoying, particularly at work where everyone assumed I was much more junior than I was.

I’m now 50 and I neither know how old I look nor give a shit. I’m not thanking anything and I’m not glad of all the shit I went through when I was younger.

I know the feeling! It's flattering and certainly not my biggest concern in life, but it really is annoying when people make presumptions about you based on your "age" - and height in my case too.

This thread is comedy gold. I particularly liked the 35-year-old whose taxi driver apparently thought she was an actual child. Brilliant.

Couldn't make it up could you!

I get it OP, ignore the rude comments. Yes it isn't the biggest problem in the world, but as others have said, it can especially be annoying on a professional level. I consult people one to one in my job, and often get asked 'so how long have you been doing this then', with much surprise when the answer is 17 years! I didn't mind things like being IDed in my 20s, but when it's still happening in your 30s I just find it embarrassing. I actually don't buy alcohol in the supermarket any more, as I hate being asked for ID, and then the surprise when they see my DOB. And for those thinking we don't really look as young as we think, I came off a flight a couple of years ago, at the age of 38, and got asked at passport control if I was over 18! I do think physical size has something to do with it, I'm on the petite side, but really not tiny. I'm 40 now, so perhaps I'll finally start ageing soon, and then wish I wasn't! Ultimately OP I don't think there's much you can do about it sadly.

@MrsSkylerWhite

Mydogmylife

OttilieKnackered
Please tell us more about how hard it is looking so young and attractive.
Exactly !“

Have either of you experience of trying to make a serious, professional impression when you look extremely young?

I don't know about them, but I have, and it was AWFUL.

First they tried asking me if I was lost and did I know where my mummy was.

When I tried to explain that I was a Serious Professional, they just laughed and said, "what a big word!"

Finally, I tried to deliver my Slick Businesswoman Presentation, and they handed me an Ella's Kitchen squeezy pouch and tried to put a plastic bib around my neck.

It was soooooo humiliating.

I was always taken as younger and used to think, well, when I'm 80 I'll only look 70. Now I'm 74 people take me for 60. It's never bothered me. Amuses me now when people blink when I tell them my age. But I can see that for some it could be annoying.

I think looking say 40 when you're 50 is great, but I think the point here is being mistaken for a child when you're an adult, that's embarrassing. Not sure why some posters think this is so hilarious.

@Oldfestivalgoer

This thread is comedy gold. I particularly liked the 35-year-old whose taxi driver apparently thought she was an actual child. Brilliant.

Don’t get this.

It can and does happen.
I was 30+ and answered the door to be asked “is your mum in”. I owned the bloody house!

Some people look younger. I used to be jealous of my friends at 15/16 being able to get into pubs and there wasnt a chance I could. Just one of those things.

@NuzzleandScratch

I think looking say 40 when you're 50 is great, but I think the point here is being mistaken for a child when you're an adult, that's embarrassing. Not sure why some posters think this is so hilarious.

Not even a child but if you're say, 35 and look 25, that can have serious professional ramifications. I truly believe that in the past I've been passed over for promotions and opportunities because people thought I was far, far younger than I was. There's nothing funny or complimentary about that. Also used to get constantly talked down to and patronised in previous jobs. A lot of "when you get to my age..." type comments from people 3+ years younger.

I know how you feel, OP. I’m 32 and always hear this. Doesn’t help that I’m short and shy too. I’ve answered the door to people and been asked if my parents were home. It’s annoying, patronising and so boring to hear every time you meet someone new.

it's so annoying! wait till you have kids and people judging you because they think your a young/ teen mum. I have an 8 year old and people think I'm about 19. I'm nearly 33.

Yes I get it OP, I was at a pub once with a group of friends, I was the oldest in the group but got this huge telling off from the landlord in front if the whole pub for trying to get served. Frustratingly I didn't have any ID on me, he was really insulting and I was very embarrassed and humiliated, even though I had every right to be there. I frequently got ignored or overlooked as I'm assumed to be very young, and taken less seriously at work. I'm 40 now, and still don't look my age, but what really helped in the end was losing my shy/innocent demeanor and developing a much more assertive manner. I'd also recommend thinking about what type of clothes you wear and avoiding girly/pastel shades as they can make you seem younger too.

I have the same problem OP and now I'm in my mid twenties it's really starting to get to me. I've cried about it more times than I care to remember. It makes me feel so embarrassed, undermined and awkward when people assume I'm 10+ years younger than I am. I've been laughed at by a bouncer when checking my ID, who said I look 13. Believe me, this is not a compliment. Young does not always equal attractive.
Sadly my dad still has the same problem at the age of 50, so I've got a long road to go yet

@Oldfestivalgoer

This thread is comedy gold. I particularly liked the 35-year-old whose taxi driver apparently thought she was an actual child. Brilliant.

😂

Personally I’ve never met a 30 year old who could pass for a teenager in my life! I think many people who say they look like a teen in their 30s must be a bit confused on what a teen looks like. Or maybe people have watched too much Glee and now they’re confused about what a teenager is.

@MiaMarshmallows

Family member has this. Mid thirties but honestly looks 16/17. She could have wrote your post word for word and if she could take a pill to make her look more her age I know she would take it in an instant. So many humiliating moments and nobody ever takes her seriously or speaks to her like she is a grown woman as they just can't get past how young she looks. I really feel for her.

Mid thirties and could pass for 16?! Wow, she must look incredibly, really young for her age. I’ve never seen anyone in their mid thirties that could pass for 16.

I think for the most part, people with cute, young-looking faces don't usually age well, as such types tend to lack the bone structure that acts as scaffolding. So, console yourself with the thought you may well look like a withered apple or collapsed souffle soon enough, and will no longer be assaulted by misconceptions about your extreme youth.

I'm nearly 60 and the waiter bought out a highchair and tried to put me in it last week!

To be honest most of this can be addressed with how you dress and carry yourself if you want it to. The people I know who have this "issue" all dress very casual/teeny in trainers jeans hoodies t shirts. Not saying you have to change in any way, but if this is you and you WANT to change how you are perceived start wearing more grown up clothes and actively avoid things that are "young". Now this may be annoying and you don't have to at all, I wear jeans trainers and hoodies loads, but I don't have your notproblem! Shoes not trainers, blazers not hoodies, put together outfits with jewellery and handbag not backpack. Get your hair in a style not a pony or bun and do it every day, light makeup. This would solve it for the people I know, probably would for you too.

The kind of people who make personal remarks and assumptions based on appearance are always going to do so and really aren't worth your attention. It's one of those situations you have to experience to understand. I was very young looking and sounding until well into my thirties and did let casual comments affect me. I wish I had realised how meaningless it is. As it is not something I do myself, I didn't understand people are often just making small talk and mean no offence. What reallly bugged me was the assumption that I was also naive, unwordly even backward as I did not smoke, drink, use drugs, swear or talk loudly. That's not to mention that having a strong northern accent caused astonishment that I could be articulate and have intelligent conversations. Now I am old, I just accept people are superficial. Nowadays I fly under the radar of 'respectability' which gives a certain level of protection in the mean streets.

I used to look really young and also hated it. I worked in school in France in my mid twenties and got told off for going into the staff room by someone as they thought I was a pupil. This school only went up to age 15!

It all went to shit when I hit about 38 and now I look all gaunt and haggard so make the most of it.

@milkyaqua

I think for the most part, people with cute, young-looking faces don't usually age well, as such types tend to lack the bone structure that acts as scaffolding. So, console yourself with the thought you may well look like a withered apple or collapsed souffle soon enough, and will no longer be assaulted by misconceptions about your extreme youth.

This is absolutely true, I have always thought this about myself.

However it's a rather mean spirited comment. Never fails to surprise me how some people struggle to put themselves in someone else's shoes or at least validate that others have a different experience to them in life!

Oh, I thought it was rather factual. Carry on.