To be sick to death of being told I look young

[Ellavaday]

I’m 30, but get mistaken for much younger pretty much daily. I’ve recently started a new job and meeting different people which likely adds to it.
It’s always the same, “So, do you live at home with your parents?”
“So are you at college/uni?”
Then when I tell them my situation and age, “You look soo young! You look like you’re just out of school(etc).”

I didn’t mind it at first but it’s getting on my nerves now, it’s every single person I meet. Also the way they’re acting as if 30 is ancient. I’m sure people will say to enjoy it while it lasts and that I’m lucky, and I get that, but it’s just too much sometimes.

The next thing is that I constantly get referred to as cute and adorable. My partner works in a pub and has some female colleagues who are 20-22.
I’ve never spoken to any of them beyond a hi and ordering a drink, but They’ve apparently said to him ‘She’s soo cute/she’s adorable!”
If they’d said kind/friendly/nice etc ok, but it just feels like something you’d say to a puppy or a baby.

There was some concert coming up in which it was techno/drum and bass sort of music. My boyfriend mentioned it to this female colleague and then said he’d invited me too, and apparently she went ‘Oh wow, I can’t really imagine her liking that sort of music’ and laughed.

So because you’ve seen me for all of 10 seconds in a bar you know all of my music tastes? It’s not the first time I’ve heard that, just because I’m quiet and don’t drink etc people ‘can’t imagine me’ liking rap/hip hop/metal etc.
Just such a weird thing to say.

Rant over, does anyone else get this? I know there’s worse stuff in the world but it does irritate me now.

😂 I’m in my twenties. I don’t look 16 but I’m not old and haggard yet! When I am I won’t bother with Botox and facelifts though, I’ll just look the age I am.

@Kanaloa

😂 I’m in my twenties. I don’t look 16 but I’m not old and haggard yet! When I am I won’t bother with Botox and facelifts though, I’ll just look the age I am.

Even more galling that someone as young as you thinks you know it all. Pure arrogance.

Maybe that's why so many posters here have trouble believing that some people do look genuinely look in their 30s
I don't think people struggle to believe that people look like they're in their 30s.
I also don't think people struggle to believe that some people look young for their age, or that some people are bad at judging age (like the person on the checkout who recently IDed me and then joked that since covid and masks, they have gone they're rusty on their IDing judgement).

I think people rightly think some posters are full of shit given how many posters on here apparently routinely get mistaken for being over a decade younger than they are, and go through life being mistaken for a teenager.

Are you quite short and very slim?

I get why youre annoyed. Sounds like people are quite condescending towards you as they assume you're a kid

@LolaSmiles

Maybe that's why so many posters here have trouble believing that some people do look genuinely look in their 30s I don't think people struggle to believe that people look like they're in their 30s. I also don't think people struggle to believe that some people look young for their age, or that some people are bad at judging age (like the person on the checkout who recently IDed me and then joked that since covid and masks, they have gone they're rusty on their IDing judgement).

I think people rightly think some posters are full of shit given how many posters on here apparently routinely get mistaken for being over a decade younger than they are, and go through life being mistaken for a teenager.

And what would people have to gain from that?!

I am routinely taken for over a decade younger than I am. Pretty consistently, as well, not just a one-off from someone with poor eyesight, or corner shop staff who ID everyone under 50 to be on the safe side. People in their mid twenties always think I'm around their age and are shocked to find out how old I actually am. People my own age regularly make "when you're my age, you'll understand" sort of comments. An older woman I worked with snorted when I expressed concern about soon being too old for kids, thinking I was being ridiculous, and was visibly shocked when I told her I'll be 37 next year!

Are you calling me a liar?

😂

I'm another who used to be taken as being much younger, possibly partly because of being short and very slim. It is irritating when you are treated like a child. If you go to buy something and the shop assistant says "is that what Mummy sent you out to buy?" it is annoying. Getting asked your age in pubs, cinemas etc. when you are well over 18 etc. all make you feel you are being treated like a child. No-one would be happy with that.
Sadly, the youthful look has not lasted post menopause - I would be happy to look younger now I'm getting old!

Rozziie
It seems like you're awfully invested in telling strangers how amazingly young the whole world thinks you are.

ComDummings
Too right.

This thread just highlights how many women are just plain nasty, jealous, and can't stand the thought of anyone being more attractive than themselves. Pathetic.

What a bizarre assumption to leap to. There is no suggestion from most posters with this 'affliction' of looking younger than their age that they are also therefore more attractive than most. There is also no reason to believe anyone commenting is unattractive themselves.

If you go to buy something and the shop assistant says "is that what Mummy sent you out to buy?" it is annoying.

How young are you being mistaken for ? That’s how I would speak to a 3 year old. I couldn’t imagine any shop worker saying that to a teenager.

@milkyaqua

This thread just highlights how many women are just plain nasty, jealous, and can't stand the thought of anyone being more attractive than themselves. Pathetic.

What a bizarre assumption to leap to. There is no suggestion from most posters with this 'affliction' of looking younger than their age that they are also therefore more attractive than most. There is also no reason to believe anyone commenting is unattractive themselves.

Then we must be reading different threads. Most of the posts on here are dripping with jealousy and bitterness.

Why would anyone even feel the need to call someone a liar for talking about their experiences of being taken for younger than they are? Or to dismiss the very real impact that has? It certainly wouldn't occur to me to do that unless I some deep insecurities myself.

This thread just highlights how many women are just plain nasty, jealous, and can't stand the thought of anyone being more attractive than themselves. Pathetic.

Most of the posts on here are dripping with jealousy and bitterness
We're reading a very different thread.

It's clear you take a lot of pride in being mistaken for a teenager, falsely think this is synonymous with being viewed as attractive, and quite invested in the idea of being so much younger and better looking than all the other women (who must be bitter and jealous about how great you are).

The problem is that in reality most people probably won't give a shit and aren't thinking about you half as much as you assume they are.

Why don't you have a long hard think about yourself, that you feel the need to be so aggressive and spiteful to randoms on the internet.

@Kanaloa

😂 I’m in my twenties. I don’t look 16 but I’m not old and haggard yet! When I am I won’t bother with Botox and facelifts though, I’ll just look the age I am.

Bless you, you’re like one of those childless women who knows everything about being a parent and feels the need to tell them that their entire experience is wrong based on nothing but their own over inflated opinion. Quite funny really.

I was the same OP - only really annoyed me when I couldn’t buy booze aged 20 plus if I’d forgot my ID. Or getting asked out by boys in school uniforms when I was third year at Uni etc.

I’m now nearing 60 and looking to retire but when I mention that to people who don’t know my age, they can’t believe it and think I’m mid to late 40s.

As a side - my DD is 21 and uses the word “cute” to describe things as nice - not in the way I’d use it. I nicely plated up meal for example is “cute”, a new dress I bought for work etc. But I can see why that could be annoying as it is a bit patronising.

Tbf there is a lot of bitterness on the thread. If op had came on and said she had a nose that she couldn't stand and talked about the social problems its caused her and how the way people react to it damage her self esteem, people would have been sympathetic (barr the 'get a nose job' comments of course).

But because looking young is considerd desirable to some, theres people that accuse you of bragging because they are totally butt hurt.

If you don't look young for your age, you have no idea how much it can affect every element of your life in ways you never expect. And the thread highlights perfectly that there is unfortunately, a lot of bitterness towards youth.

@LolaSmiles

This thread just highlights how many women are just plain nasty, jealous, and can't stand the thought of anyone being more attractive than themselves. Pathetic.

Most of the posts on here are dripping with jealousy and bitterness
We're reading a very different thread.

It's clear you take a lot of pride in being mistaken for a teenager, falsely think this is synonymous with being viewed as attractive, and quite invested in the idea of being so much younger and better looking than all the other women (who must be bitter and jealous about how great you are).

The problem is that in reality most people probably won't give a shit and aren't thinking about you half as much as you assume they are.

I don't get mistaken for a teenager. Never was after about 21. So? That doesn't mean other women don't. Why would I not believe them?

@Pinkbonbon

Tbf there is a lot of bitterness on the thread. If op had came on and said she had a nose that she couldn't stand and talked about the social problems its caused her and how the way people react to it damage her self esteem, people would have been sympathetic (barr the 'get a nose job' comments of course).

But because looking young is considerd desirable to some, theres people that accuse you of bragging because they are totally butt hurt.

If you don't look young for your age, you have no idea how much it can affect every element of your life in ways you never expect. And the thread highlights perfectly that there is unfortunately, a lot of bitterness towards youth.

Exactly this. There are so many aggressive and nasty posts on this thread dismissing the OP and others' experiences. Being denied career opportunities and being talked down to, as many posters have experienced, is horrible.

@Pinkbonbon

Tbf there is a lot of bitterness on the thread. If op had came on and said she had a nose that she couldn't stand and talked about the social problems its caused her and how the way people react to it damage her self esteem, people would have been sympathetic (barr the 'get a nose job' comments of course).

But because looking young is considerd desirable to some, theres people that accuse you of bragging because they are totally butt hurt.

If you don't look young for your age, you have no idea how much it can affect every element of your life in ways you never expect. And the thread highlights perfectly that there is unfortunately, a lot of bitterness towards youth.

Exactly. People think it's bragging because in their eyes, looking young equals attractive, and being attractive is desirable.

There have been a lot of heartfelt comments from people who feel that their careers have been damaged because people think they're young and inexperienced, yet all some posters can see is their own narrow minded perception that looking young is a good thing.

Some posters including the exceptionally young looking ones.

I get it op , I'm 43 and I do look a decade younger, it is annoying sometimes as I really am sick of explaining I'm not early 30s to people yanbu