To be sick to death of being told I look young

[Ellavaday]

I’m 30, but get mistaken for much younger pretty much daily. I’ve recently started a new job and meeting different people which likely adds to it.
It’s always the same, “So, do you live at home with your parents?”
“So are you at college/uni?”
Then when I tell them my situation and age, “You look soo young! You look like you’re just out of school(etc).”

I didn’t mind it at first but it’s getting on my nerves now, it’s every single person I meet. Also the way they’re acting as if 30 is ancient. I’m sure people will say to enjoy it while it lasts and that I’m lucky, and I get that, but it’s just too much sometimes.

The next thing is that I constantly get referred to as cute and adorable. My partner works in a pub and has some female colleagues who are 20-22.
I’ve never spoken to any of them beyond a hi and ordering a drink, but They’ve apparently said to him ‘She’s soo cute/she’s adorable!”
If they’d said kind/friendly/nice etc ok, but it just feels like something you’d say to a puppy or a baby.

There was some concert coming up in which it was techno/drum and bass sort of music. My boyfriend mentioned it to this female colleague and then said he’d invited me too, and apparently she went ‘Oh wow, I can’t really imagine her liking that sort of music’ and laughed.

So because you’ve seen me for all of 10 seconds in a bar you know all of my music tastes? It’s not the first time I’ve heard that, just because I’m quiet and don’t drink etc people ‘can’t imagine me’ liking rap/hip hop/metal etc.
Just such a weird thing to say.

Rant over, does anyone else get this? I know there’s worse stuff in the world but it does irritate me now.

Why on earth would you get thrown off a bus for looking like a schoolgirl? Surely they get buses too?

@Maireas

Why on earth would you get thrown off a bus for looking like a schoolgirl? Surely they get buses too?

In some places schoolkids are expected to use the designated school buses, not the ones the general public use.

Oh I see. Seems a bit cruel if someone has got on and paid, though.

@Maireas

Oh I see. Seems a bit cruel if someone has got on and paid, though.

They usually don't have to pay...that's the point. The drivers get annoyed at kids with bus passes taking up spaces the general public could use when they should have got the school bus.

30 is still really young though. Loads of people in their late 20s/early 30s looks extremely baby faced with flawless skin.

I looked about 18 until I turned 35 and then suddenly looked my age! 🤣

I think it's the patronising "Aw so adorable" that would annoy me

I look quite young for my age. And it annoyed me when my husbands colleague who is 17 apparently said "awww she's so cute!" Like ermmmm :/

I don’t really think it’s arrogant to think it’s unlikely someone in their mid thirties could pass for a 16 year old girl to the point that store assistants feel the need to insist they look more than a decade younger than they are and they get randomly kicked off buses for looking like a school girl. Also, just to add to that, surely you could simply show the ticket you had paid for and refuse to leave the bus. Or carry ID if bus drivers were regularly kicking you off a bus you’d paid to be on as they thought you were a school girl who should be on the school bus.

Maybe it happens, but I’d say it’s extremely rare. Just my opinion.

First world problems!

[quote MiaMarshmallows]@Kanaloa I can assure you she really does look that young. Obviously I won't put a photo up without her knowledge but she does still look like a teenager. It ruins her life and people treat her as a young kid and as she's shy, it causes endless humiliation due to the attention it brings.
Just because you haven't come across it doesn't mean it does not happen.[/quote]
Oh of course, absolutely I wouldn’t expect you to share a photo of someone without their knowledge for many reasons.

I meant anyone else who regularly passes for mid teens in their thirties. It’s just so unusual. Although I guess many people are just quite bad at judging ages. Maybe because teens and adults tend to dress more similarly now, whereas in the past there had been more of a divide between adult clothing and ‘teen’ clothing.

Even when she wears more mature clothing she still gets it.
It's a family thing. Quite a lot of people in my family look at least a decade younger. I really do think it comes down to genes. But it definitely is not a good thing when you're in your 20's/30's and still perceived to be a child. Not sure why anyone would think that a good thing.

@Kanaloa

I don’t really think it’s arrogant to think it’s unlikely someone in their mid thirties could pass for a 16 year old girl to the point that store assistants feel the need to insist they look more than a decade younger than they are and they get randomly kicked off buses for looking like a school girl. Also, just to add to that, surely you could simply show the ticket you had paid for and refuse to leave the bus. Or carry ID if bus drivers were regularly kicking you off a bus you’d paid to be on as they thought you were a school girl who should be on the school bus.

Maybe it happens, but I’d say it’s extremely rare. Just my opinion.

So do you think we're all lying? you think over a dozen different people have posted similar stories and are all making them up? Why would anyone do that?

It's extremely arrogant to think you know better than everyone else and to decide people are lying because their experiences don't match with your expectations of the world.

I'm sure that poster DID show ID or a ticket...that's not the point? She didn't get kicked off the bus...the driver tried to kick her off, thinking she was a schoolgirl. Maybe as soon as she stepped on, he said 'no, get the school bus' before she could show a ticket? Why is this so hard to understand?

@Kanaloa the point you're failing to grasp is...how can you POSSIBLY know? You can't. You don't know how old every stranger you see is. You have no idea if that person you just saw who you thought was about 21 is actually 32.

Of course I can only go on people I know personally. Perhaps some of the 15/16 year olds I see in public are in fact 35 year olds like in that movie where they adopt a grown up pretending to be a little girl.

But of people I know/have met, generally nobody in their thirties looks 16.

I interviewed a family. Dad and son and daughter. I asked the daughter a question and she said she was mum😱
So I make the same mistakes.

I’d rather go on my experiences of what I’ve actually seen in my life. I don’t personally think there’s many 30 year olds who look 16. I don’t think that’s a radical view. If I ever meet or even see a photograph of a 30 year old who looks 16, then my view will change.

@Ellavaday I feel your pain. I'm in my mid 50s, and am frequently asked for I.D. to buy alcohol. In addition, someone thought I was my daughter's younger sister the other week (she is in her mid 20s,) and also, a few people just recently have thought my DH is my dad! How embarrassing.

Several months ago, I had to ask a couple of young 20-somethings, outside the little spar shop to go buy me a bottle of wine, because the shop owner wouldn't serve me. I showed him my driving licence to prove my age, but he said it was clearly fake, and I was obviously not a day over 16.

@Rummikub

I interviewed a family. Dad and son and daughter. I asked the daughter a question and she said she was mum😱 So I make the same mistakes.

Likewise when I was waitressing, I served a dad, son and daughter and thought the daughter was Mum and asked her if she'd like wine as well. She was 14. She was dressed very old for her age, had loads of make-up on and had a very odd haircut for a girl that age - one of those you usually see on women over 45ish.

Yes, once I looked more carefully, I could see she did look young from her skin etc. but I still wouldn't have put her as young as 14. Some people just don't look their age.

@Kanaloa I don't think anyone is saying there's tonnes and tonnes of people like this in the world.
I think people accept it's the minority but again it doesn't mean there aren't many people in this world with this experience

No-one believes how old I am

I’m pretty sure they do. And I don’t believe for a moment anyone in their 50s gets id’d for alcohol in a serious way. Some of you are really deluded.

Used to happen to me all the time and yes I found it very frustrating.
Then I had kids. The amount I’ve aged in 6 years is mind blowing! 🤣 I now look old and exhausted!

I'm in my mid 50s, and am frequently asked for I.D. to buy alcohol... I showed him my driving licence to prove my age, but he said it was clearly fake, and I was obviously not a day over 16.

Yes, women who have had kids always seem to look about a decade older than their actual age. Maybe that's why so many posters here have trouble believing that some people do look genuinely look in their 30s.

Nobody’s having trouble believing people look like they’re in their thirties. More that they look 16. I mean even Ralph Macchio quit playing a teenager in his thirties.

But if it gets you down so much you could take to smoking, try and get a husky voice? Or tanning. Or perhaps wear a business suit, unless you’re worried you’d get the nickname boss baby.

@Kanaloa

Yes, women who have had kids always seem to look about a decade older than their actual age. Maybe that's why so many posters here have trouble believing that some people do look genuinely look in their 30s.

Nobody’s having trouble believing people look like they’re in their thirties. More that they look 16. I mean even Ralph Macchio quit playing a teenager in his thirties.

But if it gets you down so much you could take to smoking, try and get a husky voice? Or tanning. Or perhaps wear a business suit, unless you’re worried you’d get the nickname boss baby.

Well countless people on this thread have posted anecdotes, but we must ALL be lying for some unknown reason, according to you. It doesn't matter what anyone posts, does it? You're determined not to budge from your narrow minded position.

It's truly insane how petty and jealous some people are. Perhaps you should get botox and a facelift if you're so bothered about looking old and haggard, and stop trying to discredit other people's lived experiences and problems?