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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to say it got damaged

269 replies

JAFS · 16/09/2021 13:35

First time poster so please be kind.

So a girl I lived with at uni listed her grandmas sewing table (table with sewing machine inside) on Facebook a few years ago, probably 5 years ago. I’m not sure market place was even a thing she just shared it. We weren’t ever close friends while we loved together she had a boyfriend she spent most of her time with and we didn’t stay in touch after uni. She asked for £25 I think and we met up to exchange. I said I was sorry about her grandma, she explained her grandma hadn’t died but had dementia and was moving into care hence them clearing out her house. I explained my intention to paint the table and she thought that was sounded good and I think I sent her a photo once I had finished.

A couple of years ago she contact me asking for the table back. I explained that I had bought a few pieces of furniture and painted them up the same therefore it was a very key part of my living room currently. I did say that I ever came to sell it that I would let her know.

Since then I have had two children and I have used the machine to make bits for them. It is a very old machine and quite different to use, I once borrowed my mums machine and actually broke it so it’s a familiar machine now and I really like using it when I get chance.

We have moved house and it’s not quite as key a piece of furniture any more and one day when we can afford a new sofa there would not be room for it where it currently is although I like to think I would always find space for it.

She has contacted me again (probably 3 years since the last time she contacted me) asking for it back. I’ve ignored the message, but been messaged again explaining her grandma has now passed away and how sentimental it is to her 🙄. It’s actually sentimental to me now I’ve made gifts for my nephews, niece and daughter using this machine.

My OH says to tell her it was damaged in a house fire to stop the messages. I am a bit tempted to say it got damaged when moving house or to block her as she’s only using Facebook to contact me.

What shall I do? If she sold it to anyone else she wouldn’t be able to keep pestering (I realise it’s not major pestering as it’s not been twice in 5 years - but I know her personality and she’s not going to stop.)

AIBU to not give it back?? WWYD??

OP posts:
Tulipomania · 16/09/2021 17:46

I'm not. Whatever happened to #BeKind? In the OP's position I would give her friend the benefit of the doubt.

aliloandabanana · 16/09/2021 17:47

Have you checked it for hidden compartments and the like? It couldn't be like Herbert's teeth in Benidorm, with something expensive hidden in it that she only found about years later?! I can't think why she'd be so desperate to get it back...

TractorAndHeadphones · 16/09/2021 17:47

@Tulipomania

I'm not. Whatever happened to #BeKind? In the OP's position I would give her friend the benefit of the doubt.
#BeKind is rubbish designed to keep women in their place :)
Standrewsschool · 16/09/2021 17:47

She sold it to you five years ago! Had she asked within a few weeks of getting rid of it, fair enough. She may have regretted it then, but five years later!

Just looked on ebay, there’s lots there from £20 upwards, most under £100, so not expensive.

SimplySteveRedux · 16/09/2021 17:48

I have a weird sense of humour right now - see my A&E thread.

First time poster so please be kind.

And you post in AIBU 😂😂🤣🤣

AColdDuncanGoodhew · 16/09/2021 17:54

@Tulipomania

I suspect she isn't planning on buying it back anyway and just wants it back so she can sell it for a higher price

Why do people always assume the worst in others? You have absolutely no idea, or are you judging by your own low standards?

Poor attempt at an insult there.

If it was so sentimental why did she sell it in the first place? Couldn't have meant that much to her 5 years ago.

AColdDuncanGoodhew · 16/09/2021 17:57

@Tulipomania

I'm not. Whatever happened to #BeKind? In the OP's position I would give her friend the benefit of the doubt.
But she's not her friend as she's only spoken to her twice in five years.
Fraine · 16/09/2021 17:57

#BeKind is rubbish designed to keep women in their place smile

Amen 🙌🏼 @TractorAndHeadphones

Not sure how kind it is expecting OP to give up something she loves @Tulipomania

Fraine · 16/09/2021 17:58

Poor attempt at an insult there.

Yep not very ‘#BeKind’

AColdDuncanGoodhew · 16/09/2021 17:58

#BeKind is rubbish designed to keep women in their place

Yep.

AColdDuncanGoodhew · 16/09/2021 17:58

@Fraine

Poor attempt at an insult there.

Yep not very ‘#BeKind’

Exactly!
Penistoe · 16/09/2021 18:03

She’s found out it’s worth a lot/antique would be my first though.

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/09/2021 18:08

Thanks @honeylulu much appreciated.

Tulipomania · 16/09/2021 18:08

Why would it be your first thought?

LateDecemberBackInLowB12 · 16/09/2021 18:11

I know in the UK people aren't aware about First Nations and other Indigenous people

Confused yes, that's right, you're the only one. Well done.

Op I would just say you're sorry for her loss but you won't be selling the machine, wish her well then block her.

Mrgrinch · 16/09/2021 18:13

I wouldn't even bother to reply, you'll just open yourself up to sob stories that are clearly false.

Raaaaaaarr · 16/09/2021 18:13

I'm surprised that most people are saying to tell her where to go. It's a piece of her grandmother and the kind thing to do would be to sell it back. Have a heart - it obviously means more to her than it does to you.

ScrumptiousBears · 16/09/2021 18:18

I also think she's sold it "by mistake" and the family aren't happy. Oops.

LateDecemberBackInLowB12 · 16/09/2021 18:19

@Raaaaaaarr

I'm surprised that most people are saying to tell her where to go. It's a piece of her grandmother and the kind thing to do would be to sell it back. Have a heart - it obviously means more to her than it does to you.
Op has said its sentimental to her now too. She has had it a long time and has family memories with it too.

Why does the person who sold it in 19oatcake for a few quid have more of a right to it that the current owner? How about #bekind to the op.

Notonmywitch · 16/09/2021 18:21

Just tell her it got damaged

Hawkins001 · 16/09/2021 18:22

All the best op

Fraine · 16/09/2021 18:22

@LateDecemberBackInLowB12

I know in the UK people aren't aware about First Nations and other Indigenous people

Confused yes, that's right, you're the only one. Well done.

Op I would just say you're sorry for her loss but you won't be selling the machine, wish her well then block her.

Why are you targeting @MrsTerryPratchett for correcting the use of a racist term?

She and Honeylulu have sorted it but you and others seem offended that someone has dared to correct it.

elbea · 16/09/2021 18:23

I bought some baby clothes on Facebook from a complete stranger, a desirable brand for quite cheap. She messaged me six months later to let me know she wanted them back because she was pregnant again and they were sentimental. I told her that I’d used them for nursery clothes so weren’t in a condition she’d want. They weren’t but I had bought them in good faith and if I returned them I’d have to pay three times the price for others. People shouldn’t sell sentimental things!

LateDecemberBackInLowB12 · 16/09/2021 18:27

She and Honeylulu have sorted it but you and others seem offended that someone has dared to correct it.

I'm glad she corrected it. I'm glad MNHQ deleted it. But saying that people in the UK (me) don't know about Indigenous and first nations (also me) culture is just plain rude.

TractorAndHeadphones · 16/09/2021 18:46

@Raaaaaaarr

I'm surprised that most people are saying to tell her where to go. It's a piece of her grandmother and the kind thing to do would be to sell it back. Have a heart - it obviously means more to her than it does to you.
But it's not obvious. She might want it to sell on. Or because she had no right to it in the first place.