Wish I had a better come-back to random man comment

[Shimmyingmetacos]

In BP garage, buying a few bits for tea and kids snacks in the M&S shop there - as I was at the till, random man comes up behind me and says in a loud voice "Well you must be rich, doing your shopping here!". It caught be so off guard I didn't think fast enough and I just shrugged and ignored him. It felt like he was trying to embarrass me in front of everyone to be honest.

Now I can't help thinking how feckin rude that was and all the responses I should have said. Not that I need to justify my shop choice, but
as I had got fuel there, it saved me driving further to another supermarket, paying for parking etc.

Mumsnet - what should I have said?

[quote Comedycook]@speakout

In all seriousness, please be careful. Most large men are not actually physically frightened of women. The look you describe is probably not fear but bewilderment. Most men aren't scared of women...they know they are physically stronger than us. One day you could tell a man to fuck off and he'll respond violently. Not victim blaming but be sensible.[/quote]
What a dangerous comment. Do you not realise how many men die every year at the hands of violent women????

" Don't speak to me you peasant "
Would of done the trick 😀

What a dangerous comment. Do you not realise how many men die every year at the hands of violent women????

Enlighten me

Should have said 'i presume you are too seeing as you re also in the queue to pay for your items'

Derbee

You think speech deserves violence??

Victim blaming.

speakout would not 'deserve to be punched' however rude they were.

I'm not advocating rudeness but to say anyone deserves to be punched for it is appalling.

@Handsoffstrikesagain

Some of the comments on here are utterly vile and people should be ashamed of themselves. So many people have no interaction, small talk in shops is pretty much it. Stop being so bloody miserable and maybe even engage in friendly chat once in a while. You might even feel your bum cheeks unclench whilst you do.

'Utterly vile?' How hyperbolic is this, because someone doesn't want to engage in random witticisms with complete strangers?

If Random Man is as lonely as all that, he'll doubtless happily make conversation with another Random Man, or join a group of some sort. But, as a rule, they make a beeline for lone females. What a funny 'coincidence'.

The loneliness of strangers, particularly those who belong to the sex which poses a statistical risk to women, is not women's problem. We were not put on this earth to #BeKind. This is the kind of sickening attitude women are conditioned to internalise, and this woman, for one, isn't willing to accept it.

Think I'm 'miserable' or have a stick up my arse? Good. I'm impervious to your opinion.

NB. Speakout isn't being at all ridiculous. A well-placed 'fuck off' is sometimes under good regulation. Or my stock response - like the one I used to the CF in London who tried to persuade me to tie his shoes - 'you strangely seem to have made a beeline for a lone woman. Ask a man'.

But I'd agree exercising caution and risk assessing this, every time. That old maxim comes to mind: 'men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them'.

@speakout said

I have actually seen large men have fear in their eyes when I move in closer and say it

If you were trying to intimidate someone by getting in their personal space, you would absolutely deserve anything they felt they needed to do to protect themselves.

You don’t get to go around trying to intimate people with impunity because you’re an older lady

The loneliness of strangers, particularly those who belong to the sex which poses a statistical risk to women, is not women's problem. We were not put on this earth to #BeKind. This is the kind of sickening attitude women are conditioned to internalise, and this woman, for one, isn't willing to accept it.

Well said.

*intimidate

@Handsoffstrikesagain

Mental, absolutely mental 🤦🏽‍♀️

My sincere sympathies.

I'm currently sat in Doctors waiting room wiping my brow and a man has just walked past and said "Bit warm, isn't it?! so I responded "Too warm for me!" so he said "Yeah it's humid! Muggy" to which we all agreed.
Hardly the same as the OP's experience, where the man approached from 2 metres behind specifically to make his comment.

Comedy, the price of the fairground ride comment is quite different too, for reasons articulated very well by IllegibleSquiggles.

It’s interesting that a woman who tells men who heckle her to fuck off us being ridiculed here and threatened with violence.

I think this is a "thank you for your comment random man" moment.

If no one else has mentioned that. Bet they have.

I would have said:

"Yes, it's a bit of a climb down from my usual online delivery from Harrods food court, but we all have to make sacrifices in light of the current supply chain issues".

*Fraine
Handsoffstrikesagain

speakout you are ridiculous. You are also in danger of getting a slap. If you spoke to my husband like that I’d be asking what your problem was.

If your husband heckles women in the street he absolutely deserves to be told to fuck off.

Totally agree.

Smalltalk makes the world go around. I live in a rural community - everyday have interations with shopkeepers, other customers, strangers at the bus stop, male and female.

But when some smart arse man wants to wave his dick around and make me feel small with a sarcastic or demeaning comment, then I am not interested in making him feel good about that. I don't simper to inflate the egos of dickheads.
This was not friendy small talk the OP felt embarrassed.
This man did not deserve a handmaiden's sweet reply or smile.

@Fraine

It’s interesting that a woman who tells men who heckle her to fuck off us being ridiculed here and threatened with violence.

It is indeed. As is the suggestion that arbitrary lone females quietly going about their business are somehow responsible for the happiness and/or social interaction of complete strangers.

The patriarchy sure knows how to recruit its stormtroopers.

This man was not heckling anyone. He was commenting on the prices at an M&S garage ffs