Wish I had a better come-back to random man comment

[Shimmyingmetacos]

In BP garage, buying a few bits for tea and kids snacks in the M&S shop there - as I was at the till, random man comes up behind me and says in a loud voice "Well you must be rich, doing your shopping here!". It caught be so off guard I didn't think fast enough and I just shrugged and ignored him. It felt like he was trying to embarrass me in front of everyone to be honest.

Now I can't help thinking how feckin rude that was and all the responses I should have said. Not that I need to justify my shop choice, but
as I had got fuel there, it saved me driving further to another supermarket, paying for parking etc.

Mumsnet - what should I have said?

I would have taken that as a joke, small talk etc. In no way would I have been offended. I would have said, “No I’m skint, but that’s because I shop on here” and laughed with him. Unless he was being grumpy or rude. It’s really hard to tell unless you’re actually there.

If he’s been rude, I’d just look at him and sarcastically said “sure, loaded.” And rolled my eyes. No need for fuck off but also no need to put up with shit, if indeed that’s what it was. Which I don’t think it was. But who knows.

It's fine that OP didn't want to make small talk, but why all the drama?

And this has bugger all to do with the patriarchy

The sex of the person saying this is irrelevant, could just as easily have been a woman

"I'm out of your league, sonny. Stick with your own kind".

I would have just laughed and said, "I wish!".

@2bazookas

"I'm out of your league, sonny. Stick with your own kind".

Seriously?

No no no IveShaggedSomeMingers everyone knows Rye is a town in East Sussex

@2bazookas

"I'm out of your league, sonny. Stick with your own kind".

Christ. The second hand embarrassment is killing me here.

Thanks for the responses. For those saying I'm upset and oversensitive - I'm really not. And I love a friendly chat with a stranger - do it all the time dog-walking, strike up a conversation while waiting in-line etc.
This was NOT that and he was not starting a friendly conversation - that would have required him giving me an opportunity to join in the supposed conversation. He came from the queue and up to the till where I was getting on with packing my shopping and said the comment in a loud, sneery voice close to my shoulder, then walked straight off to another till further down. It was definitely not a friendly conversation starter. It was weird and intrusive.

I’d probably go with
“I’m sorry, do we know each other? Because you don’t look familiar.”
If he replies, I’d go with
“What an odd thing to say to someone you don’t know.”
Make him the strange one - he should be embarrassed, not you.

'Oh fuck off,' is all you need, really.

FangsForTheMemory
'Oh fuck off,' is all you need, really.

lol. Exactly.

It's fine that OP didn't want to make small talk, but why all the drama?

What drama? She wrote a thread about it on Mumsnet. That's the purpose of an internet forum.

And this has bugger all to do with the patriarchy

It has everything to do with the patriarchy. It was about a man approaching a lone woman and (yet again) making intrusive and unwanted comments. As for the remainder of the thread, 'The Patriarchy would also include certain women who are in thrall to it and are eager to tell other women to appease men come what may, usually at the cost of their own comfort.

'The sex of the person saying this is irrelevant, could just as easily have been a woman'.

'Could' have been, yes. But (unsurprisingly) it wasn't, was it?

I couldn't have got worked up over it to try to think of some 'witty' putdown, I wouldn't have felt the need to take any kind of offence whatsoever.

Of course his remarks to you were totally unnecessary and intrusive how anyone can think otherwise is baffling.

I do love the quips supplied though.

I probably would have told him to Fuck Off loudly but obviously those waiting in the queue would have seen me as being a bitch and a harridan.

I would have just done a wry smile and carried on with my shop.

You don't owe him a reply.

Look him in the eyes for 3 seconds then walk away.

@MarieIVanArkleStinks

It's fine that OP didn't want to make small talk, but why all the drama?

What drama? She wrote a thread about it on Mumsnet. That's the purpose of an internet forum.

And this has bugger all to do with the patriarchy

It has everything to do with the patriarchy. It was about a man approaching a lone woman and (yet again) making intrusive and unwanted comments. As for the remainder of the thread, 'The Patriarchy would also include certain women who are in thrall to it and are eager to tell other women to appease men come what may, usually at the cost of their own comfort.

'The sex of the person saying this is irrelevant, could just as easily have been a woman'.

'Could' have been, yes. But (unsurprisingly) it wasn't, was it?

Absolutely. And yes, the handmaidening is depressing. Some of those on the thread are of course familiar from other threads, and while they clearly have no objection to being the object of this kind of tiresome male ‘witticism’, or regard themselves as responsible for male socialisation, I can’t help wishing they would wear a T-shirt or badge that says that while they personally welcome being told to ‘Cheer up, love, it might never happen’ and the like, most women don’t regard themselves as there to be decorative.

@AICM sorry quotes you by mistake

No one's saying OP was responsible for the man's happiness, I doubt very much if he's given a second thought to OP's response beyond she doesn't want to chat, that's fine.

However, if you all create a world where he's unable to pass the time of day with anyone, you have cancelled dozens of social interactions that some people will be glad of.

Op. Where you doing your shopping in m&s after refuelling and had left your car at the pump. Might he have been annoyed at that ?

@placemats

Of course his remarks to you were totally unnecessary and intrusive how anyone can think otherwise is baffling.

I do love the quips supplied though.

I probably would have told him to Fuck Off loudly but obviously those waiting in the queue would have seen me as being a bitch and a harridan.

People always say 'I would have told him to fuck off on Mumsnt. We all know you wouldn't do this.

I was also wondering if he was making a point that you'd left your car at the pump?

My local Petrol Station pumps are always occupied by people doing their weekly shop inside.