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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wish I had a better come-back to random man comment

298 replies

Shimmyingmetacos · 16/09/2021 12:46

In BP garage, buying a few bits for tea and kids snacks in the M&S shop there - as I was at the till, random man comes up behind me and says in a loud voice "Well you must be rich, doing your shopping here!". It caught be so off guard I didn't think fast enough and I just shrugged and ignored him. It felt like he was trying to embarrass me in front of everyone to be honest.

Now I can't help thinking how feckin rude that was and all the responses I should have said. Not that I need to justify my shop choice, but
as I had got fuel there, it saved me driving further to another supermarket, paying for parking etc.

Mumsnet - what should I have said?

OP posts:
Original poster
Shimmyingmetacos · 16/09/2021 13:19

@donquixotedelamancha

He was clearly making a joke about how expensive everything was. Unclench a bit.

Noooo, this MN. Strangers speaking to you is literal violence.

Yeah, I take your comment. But I'd class him in the 'smile, love' category...bit smarmy, condescending, he's a big man so he gets to say out loud whatever is in his head
OP posts:
LaBellina · 16/09/2021 13:19

Just ignore them. Don’t even acknowledge their existence. That pisses them off more then any witty answer. Such people HATE to be ignored and that’s exactly why I wouldn’t reply and pretend they’re air and you didn’t even hear their stupid comment.

peboh · 16/09/2021 13:24

Is this a long running joke? That if you shop in M&S or Waitrose you must be rich?
Why did that offend you? I honestly wouldn't be bothered, because it's just someone making a funny.

peboh · 16/09/2021 13:25

Isn't it a long running joke * even. Silly typos.

Beeinalily · 16/09/2021 13:26

But - surely HE was shopping there too? How strange!

Bluntness100 · 16/09/2021 13:26

@PinkGiraffe1

You should've said 'yes I am' then looked him up and down and asked if he was lost.

Or the more blunt option: 'And that's any of your business because?'

Honestly that first one made me laugh 😂😂😂
RogueV · 16/09/2021 13:27

Yes. Unclench. He was having a laugh Confused

WhereYouLeftIt · 16/09/2021 13:28

I find there's very few comments that can't be responded to with

'And your point would be?' with a deadpan face. Or a curious face if you want to seem polite.

It's from an episode of 'Frasier', said by his brother Niles, and ever since then I just find it popping into my head when people make random comments to me. (I don't always say it, but I do always think it.)

WhereYouLeftIt · 16/09/2021 13:29

@RogueV

Yes. Unclench. He was having a laugh Confused
If he was having a laugh, it was AT the OP, not WITH her.
QuestionableMouse · 16/09/2021 13:29

Rye - type of flour.
Wry - expressing irony or sarcasm.

Comments like that are usually more aimed at the shop than the person.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 16/09/2021 13:30

‘Thank you for your comment random man.’

This is the ultimate comment for all occasions!

Original poster
Shimmyingmetacos · 16/09/2021 13:30

@Beeinalily

But - surely HE was shopping there too? How strange!
I'm guessing he was just paying for petrol maybe...but cos I had a cucumber, a packet of ham, pint of milk and some biscuits I'm obviously loaded Confused
OP posts:
Original poster
Shimmyingmetacos · 16/09/2021 13:32

@QuestionableMouse

Rye - type of flour. Wry - expressing irony or sarcasm.

Comments like that are usually more aimed at the shop than the person.

wow thanks for the spelling lesson. - bonus
OP posts:
floatyfeather · 16/09/2021 13:32

I usually come back with something silly like oh well I've been saving up for years for this lot but then where I'm from that comment wouldn't have necessarily been offensive.

ParishSpinster · 16/09/2021 13:33

I would have said "WHAT?!" very loudly at him. And ignored any further comment from him.

Fetchthevet · 16/09/2021 13:34

Just say Fuck off.

Keep life simple.

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 16/09/2021 13:35

On the 'he was just making a joke' views, I don't tend to see men making these jokes to other men. It's women they address. Wonder why? 🤔

Narutocrazyfox · 16/09/2021 13:35

@HyggeTygge

"Yeah I am, I get 50p every time a random man makes an irrelevant comment to me"
I LOVE this!!! Ahhhhh please say this if it happens again OP 😂
donquixotedelamancha · 16/09/2021 13:36

But I'd class him in the 'smile, love' category...bit smarmy, condescending

I understand the discomfort- I really hate strangers striking up conversation in this way but I'm aware it's my issue. I used to think of people who do this as you describe here but I think a lot of it was my negative reaction.

MacTootBlowsonHisBagpipes · 16/09/2021 13:36

He was probably pissed off about having to wait an extra few milliseconds in the queue behind you.

I have a (male) relative like this who seems to take it as a massive personal affront if anyone dares to actually buy something other than fuel in these shops.

hangrylady · 16/09/2021 13:38

How uptight are some people? He was just making a joke about the prices in the shop by the sounds of it. It is OK to have a little joke or chat with a stranger in a supermarket without there being a hidden meaning.

GreyhoundG1rl · 16/09/2021 13:39

@Fetchthevet

Just say Fuck off.

Keep life simple.

Biscuit
Olliphant · 16/09/2021 13:40

Why do people keep saying he was having a joke? It's not a vaguely funny or clever comment.

Callixte · 16/09/2021 13:40

"You and me both, random dude/critic/commentator!" (Not a native English speaker so you can probably do better with the wording, but why is he vocally judging you for doing exactly what he's doing?)

earthyfire · 16/09/2021 13:40

Sounds as if he was just having a dig about the price of everything in the shop?