Wish I had a better come-back to random man comment

[Shimmyingmetacos]

In BP garage, buying a few bits for tea and kids snacks in the M&S shop there - as I was at the till, random man comes up behind me and says in a loud voice "Well you must be rich, doing your shopping here!". It caught be so off guard I didn't think fast enough and I just shrugged and ignored him. It felt like he was trying to embarrass me in front of everyone to be honest.

Now I can't help thinking how feckin rude that was and all the responses I should have said. Not that I need to justify my shop choice, but
as I had got fuel there, it saved me driving further to another supermarket, paying for parking etc.

Mumsnet - what should I have said?

He sounds like a dick. Best not to engage with such fuckwits.

'And your point would be?' with a deadpan face.
I'm not sure why you think that would make you look anything other than a humourless gobshite. It certainly wouldn't put anyone in their place?

If he was having a laugh, it was AT the OP, not WITH her.

Oh come on. Nothing the OP has said has implied he was laughing at her. He tried to make a joke about how expensive the shop was. She got mortally offended, presumably because he was male.

"Did you mean to say that out loud, or post it on twitter?"

He was among a clumsy attempt at being funny/friendly and commenting on how expensive it is/that he himself can't afford it.

These little human interactions can make life sweeter if people aren't looking for offence where it's not intended all the time. These kind of responses make people scared to even try.

Why do people keep saying he was having a joke? It's not a vaguely funny or clever comment.

Neither are any of the "hilarious" rude comebacks that have been suggested up thread. That's the thing about humour. It's subjective.

I'm collecting some of these brilliant responses to memorise as I never know what to say to intrusive judgement dressed up as friendliness.

The other day toddler DD was taken short while out and about, we were running Kate and she'd refused the loo 10 minutes previously when it was convenient you know the deal. We went behind some things down alley and I put my bag on top of the thing we were behind (connection box thing of some kind), which it immediately fell off onto the ground, and I couldn't retrieve it because my hands were full of a widdling DD. A passerby interrupted my while trying to sort her out to tell me to "watch your bag there dear" and I'm still wondering whether she expected me to drop DD on her puddle of wee to pick it up or that the bag would be rendered invisible by being 3 feet lower than I'd originally placed it. I'm still feeling hassled about it now!

"Thank you for your comment, random person" would have fitted the bill perfectly

You should've said 'yes I am' then looked him up and down and asked if he was lost

I wouldn’t have been bothered by his comment, it was probably meant to be harmless.

I'm the same and wouldn't have thought of something there and then, but with hindsight something like "Oh I am. One usually goes to Fortnum and Mason darling, but needs must eh?" with a big shrug.

Sounds to me like he was just having a bit of friendly banter. It wasn’t sexist/racist/sexualised etc… just a general connect by someone who is probably a people’s person and likes to have a giggle.

They are extortionate places to buy things, he’s not wrong.

comment

I don’t like to talk to strangers and certainly don’t like them to try to have a joke with me

That’s what you should have said

It sounds like he was joking about the high prices. I don't think it sounds as though he meant it badly towards you.

Hard to judge someone from a single comment, he may have all sorts of confidence issues who knows.

I would have either ignore it, or said "but I'll be poor on the way out".

@RunningStrong

He was among a clumsy attempt at being funny/friendly and commenting on how expensive it is/that he himself can't afford it.

These little human interactions can make life sweeter if people aren't looking for offence where it's not intended all the time. These kind of responses make people scared to even try.

This. Absolutely. A works where folk are scared to even make eye contact incase they get shot down. I’d much rather live in a world where strangers can talk to one another

world

YABVU

He was making a joke with you, not at you.

This sounds like something you have taken way too personally, is it not normal to talk to other people where you are.
I'd probably had said something like "I know right, I had to sell a kidney for this lot."
He sounds like he was just chatting, making random conversation.
I can't be the only person that talks to/engages with randomers?

@QuestionableMouse

Rye - type of flour. Wry - expressing irony or sarcasm.

Comments like that are usually more aimed at the shop than the person.

Rye is a type of grass

“I know right ? Not even the quality of Fortnum’s ! “and depending on your location ( if not central London ) “but soooo much more convenient “

It was just a random friendly comment from a stranger. He wasn't criticising or laughing at OP.

It's quite possibly true he wouldn't have said it to a man, but an unconscious predisposition to be more friendly to people he's attracted to doesn't mean he expected his comment to result in OP offering to marry him and have his babies.

On an unrelated note, I'm amused by the "thank you for your comment random man" response, but if you want not to be bothered, I doubt its a good one, as you are giving him exactly what he wants, engagement. He'll take it as an invitation to continue the conversation. (I suppose you could rephrase it to "I don't want to talk to you, random man".)

If it's so harmless then why do men never direct their random comments at other men? I had a 'cheer up' and a 'smile' comment from 2 different men this morning - they wouldn't say that to a bloke

@OneMoreForExtra

I'm collecting some of these brilliant responses to memorise as I never know what to say to intrusive judgement dressed up as friendliness.

The other day toddler DD was taken short while out and about, we were running Kate and she'd refused the loo 10 minutes previously when it was convenient you know the deal. We went behind some things down alley and I put my bag on top of the thing we were behind (connection box thing of some kind), which it immediately fell off onto the ground, and I couldn't retrieve it because my hands were full of a widdling DD. A passerby interrupted my while trying to sort her out to tell me to "watch your bag there dear" and I'm still wondering whether she expected me to drop DD on her puddle of wee to pick it up or that the bag would be rendered invisible by being 3 feet lower than I'd originally placed it. I'm still feeling hassled about it now!

"Thank you for your comment, random person" would have fitted the bill perfectly

Or you could have just said, thanks - got my hands full at the moment, but I'm keeping an eye on it. There's no need for a snotty retort.

Sounds like he was making a harmless joke. He perhaps hasn't got the memo that no one can make jokes anymore.

I’d have just laughed it off
Garages are notoriously overpriced.
He thought he was just being funny.
I have had comments like “Lucky saddle”when riding that made me laugh out loud. Maybe comments like this don’t bother me though.