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AIBU?

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Original poster

Wish I had a better come-back to random man comment

298 replies

Shimmyingmetacos · 16/09/2021 12:46

In BP garage, buying a few bits for tea and kids snacks in the M&S shop there - as I was at the till, random man comes up behind me and says in a loud voice "Well you must be rich, doing your shopping here!". It caught be so off guard I didn't think fast enough and I just shrugged and ignored him. It felt like he was trying to embarrass me in front of everyone to be honest.

Now I can't help thinking how feckin rude that was and all the responses I should have said. Not that I need to justify my shop choice, but
as I had got fuel there, it saved me driving further to another supermarket, paying for parking etc.

Mumsnet - what should I have said?

OP posts:
simitra · 16/09/2021 15:06

"Im well above your pay grade sonny, you couldnt keep me in perfume/hairpins/insert whatever"

Delivered wityh a snide smile. Never fails to hit the mark.

couchparsnip · 16/09/2021 15:07

@Olliphant

Why do people keep saying he was having a joke? It's not a vaguely funny or clever comment.
Because it is a long running 'joke' that food in M & S is expensive. Not amazingly funny but not creepy or weird. Just someone passing the time of day.
Ringsender2 · 16/09/2021 15:07

I think your response was perfect (looking a bit puzzled then ignoring), but I do love this: ‘Thank you for your comment random man.’

RobertaFirmino · 16/09/2021 15:09

'Yes, I am rich. You certainly wouldn't be able to afford me.'

Yesitsbess · 16/09/2021 15:10

Not weighing in on whether it was rude or not, but the best one I ever heard was: WHO PUT 50P IN THE DICKHEAD?

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 16/09/2021 15:10

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

RunningStrong · 16/09/2021 15:11

@DotBall

Some of these responses are absolutely batshit...I mean seriously "fuck off cxxx". Christ, so rude. It was clearly a joke about the prices they charge. Dear lord, we'll all be petrified to utter a word to each other soon. I was at a funfair recently and commented to a random mum waiting by a ride that we'd all have to remortgage to pay for it... luckily she didn't tell me to fuck off

Absolutely this. No wonder there is societal breakdown, nobody knows how to engage with others anymore. It’s all school gate angst and wariness of men in total. At least on MN.

In the real world, we have a banter and move on.

If he had received one of the cutting put downs received, maybe he'd think twice before trying to engage in light hearted conversation again. What a wonderful world that would be when people like my old gran or my struggling single parent neighbour, who go to the shop mostly to get out and see people are deprived of every small human interaction because people are so scared to say the wrong thing.

Well done everyone.

maddy68 · 16/09/2021 15:11

He's just making conversation???

donquixotedelamancha · 16/09/2021 15:12

Random Men don't say these things to other men.

They really do. Random women also say this stuff to me just as much.

it depends how it's said though ie facial expression, body language, voice volume, spontaneous remark or deliberate, etc.

I don't think MNers are nearly as good at guessing what strangers are thinking based on their facial expression as they think.

1forAll74 · 16/09/2021 15:14

You should have said. yes, I love having plenty of money, it's great, and then just jogged on. People can say all sorts of things when you are out and about, it's just the way things go sometimes.

honeylulu · 16/09/2021 15:14

I think your shrug was actually quite a cool response to be honest. It kind of conveys "Is it expensive? I hadn't noticed. I can't be bothered to reply to you properly either as you are of no consequence."

speakout · 16/09/2021 15:20

Fuck off is my usual response.

I have actually seen large men have fear in their eyes when I move in closer and say it.

ivykaty44 · 16/09/2021 15:23

did you mean to be so rude

easy to remember and so valid for many stupid comments

TempleofZoom · 16/09/2021 15:28

@LaBellina

Just ignore them. Don’t even acknowledge their existence. That pisses them off more then any witty answer. Such people HATE to be ignored and that’s exactly why I wouldn’t reply and pretend they’re air and you didn’t even hear their stupid comment.
This Just ignore They want you to respond so I never do
EarringsandLipstick · 16/09/2021 15:30

@HarrietsChariot

Loads of good comebacks:

"Does your carer let you go out on your own?"
"I've got ten kids so rake it in on benefits"
"Rich enough to know shopping in a BP garage isn't the height of sophistication"

Or a simple "Fxxx off, cunt" might do it.

These are truly horrible comments.
Cam77 · 16/09/2021 15:32

I would have just said “yes, only millionaires in here!”. Random comment but I don’t think it’s a big deal to be honest.

BrendaBubbles · 16/09/2021 15:33

Psychologically the best way to deflate people making stupid comments like that isn’t to agree or disagree but just say something like “Pardon?” Then “Sorry, I don’t understand.” They’ll either zip it or look really stupid when explaining their unfunny “joke.”

BlueberrySugar · 16/09/2021 15:35

I mean M&S isn't that expensive. If you go for my expensive things yeah but you could easily grab something for dinner and snacks for under a tenner.

BlueberrySugar · 16/09/2021 15:36

I didn't mean the my part.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 16/09/2021 15:36

Written down it reads like a friendly interaction where he's joking with you about the prices. Customer to customer

And that's the problem with recounting experiences. We don't have to be of voice, body language etc and they are what tells you whether something was a joke or not

I'm going to accept that you know better than me because you were there and I wasn't! If something like that happens again, honestly, a big smile and a cheery yes, yes I am.

Or a fuck yes, I'm bloody loaded. 😁

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 16/09/2021 15:37

Have to be?
Get to see.

NigellaSeed · 16/09/2021 15:38

As established from a previous thread Thanks for the comment, Random Man is a good one

BoredZelda · 16/09/2021 15:42

It felt like he was trying to embarrass me in front of everyone to be honest.

Hardly. It is a shop, where people were shopping, why would anyone think it is embarrassing to shop there.

but why does he get to approach me and loudly make a stupid comment about me in front of a shop full of people?

Get to? You think there should be some kind of law/rule that people can’t interact with strangers? He did it, maybe he is one of those people with a loud voice. Giving it more than a moment’s thought is a waste of headspace.

Comedycook · 16/09/2021 15:42

@BlueberrySugar

I mean M&S isn't that expensive. If you go for my expensive things yeah but you could easily grab something for dinner and snacks for under a tenner.
It's pretty well known, along with Waitrose, to be one of the more expensive supermarkets
LaetitiaASD · 16/09/2021 15:43

@BrendaBubbles

Psychologically the best way to deflate people making stupid comments like that isn’t to agree or disagree but just say something like “Pardon?” Then “Sorry, I don’t understand.” They’ll either zip it or look really stupid when explaining their unfunny “joke.”
I'd guess they'd respond with "sorry, it was just a silly joke" or "it was just a silly joke you stuck up b**".

If they responded with the latter then they'd be 100% in the wrong... but I'd have a small amount of sympathy for them.