WWYD/AIBU - Pulling the on Grandparents childcare

[WalkingDead02]

Hi all, I am after a bit of advice as I'm not sure what the right thing to do is.

Currently DH and I work full time, we have a 2 year old DS who is looked after by in laws for 3 days a week and my parents for 1. He goes to nursery for the other day. We love about 45 mins - 1hr away from my parents, so DS goes there on a Sunday night ready for Monday.

My parents are forever moaning that they have no time to themselves, to make friends or take up hobbies as all the do is look after grandkids. We currently take him there at around 2pm on a Sunday, I have a catch up with them before leaving ar around 3pm. They are now asking that he be taken there for between 4pm/5pm on a Sunday night as the afternoon and then the following day is too much for them. Both DH and I are getting fed up with them moaning and forever changing what they want. Now he wont be getting there until late on a Sunday and I wont be getting home until late either, which doesn't seem fair.

We are considering pulling the plug and just putting him into nursery on a monday, to save hassle all round.

My question is, WWYD and AIBU?

YABU, be grateful for the free childcare and take him a few hours later as they've asked, or pay for a nursery yourself.

Taking the piss to leave at 3pm on a Sunday for Monday childcare!!!

I would go for 7pm and do jammies and bedtime then leave.

Nursery sounds like the best plan all round. Then they can visit you on a weekend, or if they wanted they could pick him up from other grandparents for an afternoon, or whatever.

YABU in the sense that free childcare isn’t really at your convenience. YANBU to drop the arrangement if it isn’t worth the hassle.

I would use nursery in this situation. Looking after a small child for over 24 hours is hard work, and committing to that every week is a huge task. You sound incredibly fortunate with what you are offered by family. FWIW, neither set of our children's' grandparents have ever had them for that long once, and our eldest is 9

We are considering pulling the plug and just putting him into nursery on a monday, to save hassle all round.

I’m guessing they will kick up a stink if you say you’re putting him in nursery on Monday?

Do they ever make an effort to come and spend time with you | their DGC?

Yabvu. Your parents have already had their child, this is your child, they’ve said it’s too much, pay for nursery and allow your parents to be grandparents and all the fun that is rather than childcare

4/5pm and you home (child free) by 6/7pm is very reasonable. They are providing care every Sunday night, and you're complaining they don't want to also do the whole of su day afternoon. With a 2 year old. I don't think you've really thought through how lucky you are having a free night every week.

I think you’re taking the piss tbh. You need to put him into nursery and give your poor parents a break.

As much as your parents love your ds they don't want to be tied to the current arrangement.
Put him in nursery.
It also saves the travelling on a Monday evening going to pick him up.

Why do you need to drop him off so early? My DB used to drop my niece off to my mum at 7am with a 40 minute drive to get there, you have the child, your getting free childcare you should bear the brunt of any inconvenience. If they are so kind as to have him every Sunday night you should be taking him just before bedtime, bathed and in his pyjamas. You also need to look at shifting your and your husband's hours. DH and I both changed to working full time over 4 days (different days) so we only needed 3 days of childcare. Do you not feel your time with your child is being limited with this, even at the weekends?

I don’t believe this post is genuine for one minute. No one is that much of an entitled brat and as a PP pointed out, no decent parent who works full time would entertain the idea of losing a chunk of every Sunday with their child as well. Reported.

I think saying you ‘won’t be back till late’ on a Sunday when they’re a max of an hour away is a bit much, though. Even dropping him at 5pm you’re home before his usual bedtime!

I don't really understand why taking him later on a Sunday is a problem. They say the early time is not working for them but you seem to think you are entitled to time alone later on that evening. It is your child. You have to suck up any inconvenience.

Eat your vegetables, grandparents can have perfectly lovely relationships with their grand kids without looking after them 1.5 days a week.

When someone is doing you a favour, their convenience is more important 🤷🏻‍♀️

@MayorGoodwaysChicken

I don’t believe this post is genuine for one minute. No one is that much of an entitled brat and as a PP pointed out, no decent parent who works full time would entertain the idea of losing a chunk of every Sunday with their child as well. Reported.

Is it really that extreme of a scenario? 😂

YABVVU. Poor Grandparents. To enable you both to go to work on a Monday they have to have your child all Sunday afternoon and night too? And you get a child free Sunday evening as well. There doesn't seem much in it for them does there?

I voted YANBU, but only because I think once childcare arrangements with family begin to cause angst, it is time to use paid childcare.
I do think your attitude towards your parents sounds as though you expect them to be falling over themselves to make your life easier. We look after our dgs and 2 years old is tiring for gps. We are not old, I still work, but honestly, a da with dgs is exhausting. We adore him and are happy to care for him, but we do breathe a sigh of relief when we get home/he goes home.

You are incredibly fortunate to have so much family support.

DH and I have worked full time since having both kids. Numbers of days’ childcare my parents did = 0. My in laws helped by covering a week or two a year with school holidays once they were in primary school, but they live several hours away.

Frankly you sound like a petulant, spoilt child and you don’t know you’re born. YABVVU.

It really is all about you isn't?
Your parents are being honest with you. It is too much for them..don't you care they are struggling?
No grandparents should be expected to do childcare.. they have done the parent thing.. now they want to do the grandparent thing...
Show a little respect and dont be surprised if your in-laws suddenly collapse under the strain of looking after YOUR child.
You sound so entitled I nearly choked on my cornflakes!

It is too much for your dps and the petrol must cost the same as nursery (4 x 1.5 hour trips to drop off and pick up) so I would just do nursery.

You sound lovely. Lucky parents.

Fuck me you've got it made haven't you?

I think OP is getting a hard time. She is the one suggesting putting dc in nursery, so it’s probable she knows grandparents will be annoyed by this.

Just to add that I find grandparents who moan about having their grandkid over for 1.5 days “too much” and saying they “don’t get any time for themselves and their hobbies” really sad. What fucking hobbies take more than 5.5 days are more important than a relationship with grandkids?

There are plenty of ways of having a relationship with grandchildren, that doesn’t include providing regular childcare. Looking after small children is bloody hard work when you are young. For grandparents, it’s so much harder. You should think about your attitude towards the older generation. They aren’t there just to look after your children. They have a life as well.