WWYD/AIBU - Pulling the on Grandparents childcare

[WalkingDead02]

Hi all, I am after a bit of advice as I'm not sure what the right thing to do is.

Currently DH and I work full time, we have a 2 year old DS who is looked after by in laws for 3 days a week and my parents for 1. He goes to nursery for the other day. We love about 45 mins - 1hr away from my parents, so DS goes there on a Sunday night ready for Monday.

My parents are forever moaning that they have no time to themselves, to make friends or take up hobbies as all the do is look after grandkids. We currently take him there at around 2pm on a Sunday, I have a catch up with them before leaving ar around 3pm. They are now asking that he be taken there for between 4pm/5pm on a Sunday night as the afternoon and then the following day is too much for them. Both DH and I are getting fed up with them moaning and forever changing what they want. Now he wont be getting there until late on a Sunday and I wont be getting home until late either, which doesn't seem fair.

We are considering pulling the plug and just putting him into nursery on a monday, to save hassle all round.

My question is, WWYD and AIBU?

Of course use nursery.

Wow lucky you having Sunday evenings all to yourself every week!

I take it OP has done a runner?

YABU to arrive so early on Sunday. You should drop him off around 6pm in his PJs.

When do you spend time with DS if he's with in laws 3 days at nursery another day and then with your parents middle of Sunday until Monday evening?

YABU.

You can't moan about free childcare and dictate the rules. 4 days a week childcare from grandparents?! I'm surprised the PILs aren't also (reasonably) complaining about having to give up three days of their week.

You're in a very fortunate position to be able to rely on not just one, but two sets of grandparents. A lot of people (including myself) would love to be in that situation.

Please tell me this is a reverse , they don't owe you childcare , pay someone to mind your child

Both DH and I are getting fed up with them moaning and forever changing what they want. Now he wont be getting there until late on a Sunday and I wont be getting home until late either, which doesn't seem fair.

Fair? FAIR?
You are blisteringly entitled.

We are considering pulling the plug and just putting him into nursery on a monday, to save hassle all round.

Your poor, put-upon little sausages. Your parents are evil - forcing you to have children - don't they understand what they've put you through?

Yabu to be fed up with your parents. I appreciate childcare is expensive and I am in a fortunate position to afford it but the selfish belief of people that Grandparents are only there to provide cheap or free child care is unbelievable. I turned down the in-laws offer to provide regular childcare for the very reason that I wanted them to be able to go off on holiday when they wanted and to then be able to have the children at times convenient to them. I will certainly not be providing free child care to my grandchildren if the time comes, I've worked hard juggling work and children and will want to enjoy my retirement.

@EatYourVegetables

Put in nursery. Clearly they don’t want to do this.

Just to add that I find grandparents who moan about having their grandkid over for 1.5 days “too much” and saying they “don’t get any time for themselves and their hobbies” really sad. What fucking hobbies take more than 5.5 days are more important than a relationship with grandkids? But I’ll get flamed for that view on MN.

What fucking hobbies take more than 5.5 days are more important than a relationship with grandkids? But I’ll get flamed for that view on MN. Anything they fucking want.

They have had their children, if OP doesnt want to look after their own child, then they should not have had any

You're taking the piss. Either put your son in nursery for an extra day or you or your husband need to drop your hours yo look after your own child.
Your parents agreed to child care for a day and you've seen that as a day and half so I can see why they are annoyed.

@babouchette

Neither my parents nor my ILs have ever babysat for me for an hour, let alone overnight, let alone every week! YAB massively U and ungrateful.

Exactly the same here. Not that I would expect it, they are my kids so my responsibility. My oldest is 2 1/2 and has never gone anywhere without me or DH unless it's to nursery. The baby is 10 months and as I'm on maternity he hasn't left my side yet except for brief appointments (gp, dentist) when my DHhas had to take AL or make time up to have him. Have to say I'd be prepared to drop my kids off at midnight if I meant I got an interrupted sleep and night off 🤣🤣

Wow @Pffffft something has hit a nerve with you with the OPs post!

@kaleidoscopeheartless

Wow *@Pffffft* something has hit a nerve with you with the OPs post!

She has a point.

“DH and I are getting fed up”. Lol entitled brats

Brutal but I kind of agree with @Pffffft.

@Pffffft 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
I totally agree!
Me and my partner both work..... we don't have the 'luxury' of FREE childcare.

OP..... quit moaning and work YOUR lives round YOUR child! You talk like your child is an inconvenience to your working lives!!
You sound like an entitled twat. Your parents aren't in your life to look after your child! Either change your working life or pay for someone to look after them..... either way, don't sound so resentful!

You don’t know anything about her or her life.

Well, we know she's taking the piss with free childcare.

@SoupDragon

You don’t know anything about her or her life.

Well, we know she's taking the piss with free childcare.

But what if she’s been told be her parents they want DC1 day a week?

Not sure why else OP would be thinking she is BU or NBU for putting DC in nursery.

But what if she’s been told be her parents they want DC1 day a week?

It's an afternoon, an overnight and a day and they have said that they find it too much.

I know that. But OP clearly feels some sort of obligation or she wouldn’t asking here if she should put her DC in nursery.

You are taking the absolute piss. Pay for your own childcare. It's not fair on your parents or on your in-laws.

@Fraine

I know that. But OP clearly feels some sort of obligation or she wouldn’t asking here if she should put her DC in nursery.

Not necessarily. She could think they are doing her parents a favour by letting them look after their grandchild. 🤷🏻‍♀️