WWYD/AIBU - Pulling the on Grandparents childcare

[WalkingDead02]

Hi all, I am after a bit of advice as I'm not sure what the right thing to do is.

Currently DH and I work full time, we have a 2 year old DS who is looked after by in laws for 3 days a week and my parents for 1. He goes to nursery for the other day. We love about 45 mins - 1hr away from my parents, so DS goes there on a Sunday night ready for Monday.

My parents are forever moaning that they have no time to themselves, to make friends or take up hobbies as all the do is look after grandkids. We currently take him there at around 2pm on a Sunday, I have a catch up with them before leaving ar around 3pm. They are now asking that he be taken there for between 4pm/5pm on a Sunday night as the afternoon and then the following day is too much for them. Both DH and I are getting fed up with them moaning and forever changing what they want. Now he wont be getting there until late on a Sunday and I wont be getting home until late either, which doesn't seem fair.

We are considering pulling the plug and just putting him into nursery on a monday, to save hassle all round.

My question is, WWYD and AIBU?

Grandparents should not be expected to provide childcare.
We have 5 dc between us, one grandchild and one on the way. Potentially we could end up with 10+ grandchildren. While we are excited to be grandparents our lives are very busy and although we look forward to visiting them and vice versa we won't be providing childcare for any of them.

Nursery

This has to be a reverse. Surely nobody is this entitled?!

Another vote for nursery, this doesn’t seem to be working. They are doing it for free after all. But l am amused that that amount of time, gets then to act like it’s taking over and dominating their lives.

Pull your head out of your backside. They are doing you a favour by providing childcare. There is no reason for you to be dropping him off after lunch time on Sunday for a Monday workday. They've told you it's too much for them, and have offered a working solution. So yes, put your child in nursery and let your parents be grandparents, not babysitters.

YANBU to put him in nursery but only because YABU to the extreme to expect your parents to bend over backwards to accommodate your wants when they have said it’s too much.

@EL8888

Another vote for nursery, this doesn’t seem to be working. They are doing it for free after all. But l am amused that that amount of time, gets then to act like it’s taking over and dominating their lives.

From the op it says her parents look after grandkids. So I'm assuming they also help with others, not just ops.

Your taking advantage of them putting them so you have Sunday night to yourselves. 4/5 isn't late and be thankfull they are doing you the favour.

FFS.

I have a 12yo. The number of times family has looked after him in those years? Twice.

And you're whining about your parents not wanting to dedicate every Sunday to your free childcare.

This is a reverse, isn't it?

how entitled are you ??

@Newestname002

This is a reverse, isn't it?

I doubt it. They usually come clean at some point to stop the posts coming. It's something certainly.

We look after our grandchildren one day a week. My daughter and her family live a 35/40 minute drive from us. We drive out there in the morning and take the 5 year old to school then bring the younger one back here and then in the afternoon we drive out there again to do the school collection and back to their house to wait for my daughter to come home from work. Then we drive home.

So we are driving about 2.5 hours over the course of the day and are happy to do it. I love my grandchildren but I certainly wouldn't be happy to have them overnight from Sunday afternoon to Monday evening every week. We do have them overnight every 6 weeks or so but we have them after school on a Friday until lunchtime Saturday. That way, my DD and SIL can have an evening out and a lie-in before the children come home. We find it is easier to do it this way than to tag it on to the day we look after them. I always have a broken night's sleep when we have them overnight so I would struggle to then look after them until 6pm the following day. And we are fit, active 60 year olds.

Personally I think you're taking the piss, OP

I don't believe this is a real thread. Weekly overnight arrangement looking after 2yo for you and still think it ain't fair...

if you work all week don't you and your partner want a full weekend with your child?

I knew a couple of people who sent their children to grandmas every Friday night til Saturday tea time. I’m with you, I wouldn’t want to lose that time with my child, but they felt it worked better for their own relationships. Each to their own but I couldn’t do it.

So you have to look after your own child for Saturday and half of Sunday...

I don’t understand. Your parents say that providing childcare has become too difficult. That means that you need to find new childcare.

Kids do better with consistency. Put him in nursery full-time and ask both sets of grandparents to serve as emergency backups and occasional date night sitters.

Is there some sort of competition to get threads in the Daily Mail? This reads like it's ticking all there boxes.
Grandparents...... Check
Working mother...... Check
Put upon Grandparents providing childcare..... Check
Entitled attitude..... Check

Their not there. Bloody Autocorrect.

Pull the plug - what an expression to use in relation to these kind helpful people. Shame on you.

@Jjjjjjjjjjjjj84

Are you serious? Why take him at 3pm on the Sunday for the Monday childcare? They are basically looking after your child the Sunday, the Sunday night and the Monday. You are probably preventing them from going out anywhere on the Sunday! As lovely as it is you have grandparents support I think it's crazy how some grandparents provide so much child care, they are giving up their own lives for it! Your child would be much better off in nursery for longer now and see the grandparents so silly instead

This! You’re getting half your Sunday “off” and this means they can do nothing they want on a Sunday, just for Monday childcare. I can see their point. And 4/5pm isn’t remotely late. You’d still be home early enough to have a really decent evening.

YABU. Your parents are doing you a big favour. You should be dropping your child near bed time, not 2pm. You sound very entitled. Just put your dc in nursery and stop expecting so much from parents/in-laws.

Wow your poor parents are trying to help and you are so ENTITLED .

Both DH and I are getting fed up with them moaning and forever changing what they want. Now he wont be getting there until late on a Sunday and I wont be getting home until late either, which doesn't seem fair

You’re getting free child-care, and all you’re doing is complaining about them moaning and how it’s not fair on you and you’re fed-up

I think you’ve got an extremely cushy-number. But if it’s not working, have a proper, adult conversation with them. Then instead of child-care you can, perhaps, arrange to meet on a Sunday to do nice activities so your parents get to spend quality time with their grandchild.