He said I was being bitchy

[triedtired]

During an argument. New relationship of 6 months, he called me pathetic and bitchy during an argument. AIBU to be extremely angry? Am I being dramatic?

Having read your update YANBU.

What hypocrisy from him, being bitchy about someone else! He is coming across really badly here
Acting childishly
Bitching about someone you've slept with
Insecure
Passing off shitty behaviour as a 'joke'

But the worst thing is it sounds like you calmly said you weren't engaging with it, and instead of apologising for taking his stupid 'joke' too far, he is putting it all on you. You've done nothing wrong, and he has behaved terribly, yet he is calling you names.

I dont normally use this phrase but so many red flags here

I actually cant believe he has goaded you into responding by saying horrible things about your judgement / your ex and yet he is the one who is 'hurt' by it!

Just what was he actually hoping to achieve? What is the correct way to respond to him effectively saying your ex was ugly or whatever?

Text back and say "well he was better than you so...."

@MrsMaizel

Can we have a pic of your ex ?

That's so weird.

He’s a rude immature twat op! Both to you and to your ex!

So he sends you a photograph of an ex saying "I can't believe you've f... him" with lots of laughing emojis and you are worried about him calling you bitchy and pathetic. I think its pretty obvious who is being bitchy/catty and pathetic and it's not you. He sounds absolutely grim and should be released back into the wild at once.

@triedtired

The argument was because he sent a photo of someone I've slept with before him and said "I can't believe you've f him" with lots of laughing emojis. I said it wasn't funny. He carried on taking the piss and also said "I find it shocking you looked at him and thought mmm I wanna f him." I said "I am bored of this" and "message me when you're over it."

He thinks I was nasty, can't take a joke and should apologise for how I reacted.

I don't know why some of it is bold and underlined - I can't change it sorry!

Based on this you are definitely not bitchy and he is a pathetic loser. I think you are very right to be upset. A: like a class A juvenile prick he is taunting you. B he seems to think a lot of himself and thinks hes much better looking than your ex. Vain prat comes to mind. C: he doesn't know when to stop like a child. D he called you a name which I personally wouldn't take even for the once.

To be honest it shows his insecurity. Why the F is he looking at your ex and makes unsolicited comments? He sounds like perfect Ex material to me.

He sounds like a very ugly character, red flag from me.

He sounds nasty.

Don't waste your time.

He's shown you who he is. Believe him.

I honestly couldn't find the strength to get wound up about this.

In the heat of the moment I've called my DP all sorts, as has he with me. I never read anything into it. Life would be exhausting if we had to dissect everything every time I called him a bellend.

@CornishGem1975

I honestly couldn't find the strength to get wound up about this.

In the heat of the moment I've called my DP all sorts, as has he with me. I never read anything into it. Life would be exhausting if we had to dissect everything every time I called him a bellend.

Life sounds far more exhausting living like that.

@LimeRedBanana

Too right.

Having standards means you get rid of twats like this after 1 strike.

You don't stay with them, marry them, have children, and then regret that you didn't act the first time he showed you he was nasty scum.

Simple really, and saves so much drama and upset.

@CornishGem1975

I honestly couldn't find the strength to get wound up about this.

In the heat of the moment I've called my DP all sorts, as has he with me. I never read anything into it. Life would be exhausting if we had to dissect everything every time I called him a bellend.

If you're happy with your partner insulting you, that's fine, but that doesn't mean that OP should not be getting upset when her partner does it to her. I don't think it's necessarily the same thing you're talking about anyway. Being called a bellend with a gentle eye-roll and a chuckle isn't the same as being viciously called pathetic and bitchy, so there's nuances here and we don't have clarity.

People in healthy relationships find people with similar values. The values don't have to be the same for all couples, but they have to be similar for both partners in any couple.

@triedtired

The argument was because he sent a photo of someone I've slept with before him and said "I can't believe you've f him" with lots of laughing emojis. I said it wasn't funny. He carried on taking the piss and also said "I find it shocking you looked at him and thought mmm I wanna f him." I said "I am bored of this" and "message me when you're over it."

He thinks I was nasty, can't take a joke and should apologise for how I reacted.

I don't know why some of it is bold and underlined - I can't change it sorry!

THAT gets him dumped. The comments after just underline it.

No one does that unless they are a totally inept, insecure twat.

If that was your last message leave it there, consider the relationship over. If not tell him he is an immature pillock and dump him!

@triedtired

He said it's hurtful I accused him of trying to start an argument

No. It's ridiculous that he wants to evaluate and grade every cock you have ever slept with!

If he lacks confidence in himself that much he is always going to be an immature pillock.