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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He said I was being bitchy

166 replies

triedtired · 14/09/2021 18:09

During an argument. New relationship of 6 months, he called me pathetic and bitchy during an argument. AIBU to be extremely angry? Am I being dramatic?

OP posts:
dunkaccino · 14/09/2021 20:39

Just tell him that you're very sorry, and you did over-react, but you didn't want to have to tell him that your ex had a huge cock and was absolutely amazing in bed.

And then see how funny he finds that.

beastlyslumber · 14/09/2021 20:43

@triedtired

The argument was because he sent a photo of someone I've slept with before him and said "I can't believe you've f him" with lots of laughing emojis. I said it wasn't funny. He carried on taking the piss and also said "I find it shocking you looked at him and thought mmm I wanna f him." I said "I am bored of this" and "message me when you're over it."

He thinks I was nasty, can't take a joke and should apologise for how I reacted.

I don't know why some of it is bold and underlined - I can't change it sorry!

Run a mile, OP. Don't apologise. Just ditch him, block, and move on.
waybill · 14/09/2021 20:45

YANBU to be angry - but having read what he said prior to saying you were pathetic and bitchy, perhaps you are being angry about the wrong thing here.

dogfishman · 14/09/2021 20:46

He sounds like a bit of a dork and you sound like you have very little tolerance of his crude attempts at humour - which, to be fair, are probably similar to the laffs he'd have with his mates. Think you'd both be better off without each other.

TatianaBis · 14/09/2021 20:47

@triedtired

The argument was because he sent a photo of someone I've slept with before him and said "I can't believe you've f him" with lots of laughing emojis. I said it wasn't funny. He carried on taking the piss and also said "I find it shocking you looked at him and thought mmm I wanna f him." I said "I am bored of this" and "message me when you're over it."

He thinks I was nasty, can't take a joke and should apologise for how I reacted.

I don't know why some of it is bold and underlined - I can't change it sorry!

Just text him you're more shocked you ever wanted to fuck him. And fyi other guy was much better in bed.

And block.

DrinkingWishingSmokingHoping · 14/09/2021 20:47

He was the one being bitchy and pathetic. You may want to tell him that as you dump him.

Midge75 · 14/09/2021 20:53

Get rid

Abhannmor · 14/09/2021 20:54

Sounds very bitchy himself tbh.

LimeRedBanana · 14/09/2021 20:54

So what are you going to do, OP?

I really hope this isn’t one of those threads where the OP comes on to query seriously sub-standard behaviour from a twattish man - see that everyone agreed vehemently that it really is twattish behaviour and she is NBU…

…only to start defending him as a ‘lovely guy’ and then vanish from the thread.

Pixilicious · 14/09/2021 20:55

You need to dump him. Cut your losses, it’s only 6 months, he is a manipulative gaslighting twat.

everythingbutthesink · 14/09/2021 20:57

To be going over your past already is a big red flag
My ex did this for 10 years, broke my nose because I slept with someone before him
Broke my ribs
Beat me in the middle of the street in holiday

Red flag just leave the dick

FOJN · 14/09/2021 21:00

Get rid of him, he's bad news.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 14/09/2021 21:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

TurquoiseDragon · 14/09/2021 21:04

@AcrossthePond55

The argument was because he sent a photo of someone I've slept with before him and said "I can't believe you've f him" with lots of laughing emojis. I said it wasn't funny. He carried on taking the piss and also said "I find it shocking you looked at him and thought mmm I wanna f him." I said "I am bored of this" and "message me when you're over it."

Ok, just the fact that someone found and sent me a pic of someone I'd slept with before with ANY comment whatsoever would be enough for me to end it. The words they chose to comment on it would be irrelevant. The fact that they chose to send and comment on it in the first place would be enough.

I don't think you should even bother trying to figure out if him calling you bitchy or pathetic is 'good' or 'bad' in these circumstances. You should bin him straightaway.

I'd simply text "What you did is such a gross invasion of my privacy, shows such a lack of respect for me, and is in such poor taste that I am ending our relationship. Do not contact me again" .

Absolutely. OP, he's trying to make you feel defensive about your choice of prerevious partners. Not good at all. What else will he try to undermine your judgement with?

Dump and run. If you have to say something then this seems appropriate:

Just tell him that you're very sorry, and you did over-react, but you didn't want to have to tell him that your ex had a huge cock and was absolutely amazing in bed.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/09/2021 21:05

He's a misogynist based on the texts. Then he said something misogynistic. Not really a surprise.

I don't continue relationships with men who belittle women. Nor should you.

CambsAlways · 14/09/2021 21:08

Well how do we know, you haven’t given us details!

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 14/09/2021 21:17

So other people are suggesting that you tell him your ex had a large cock but my message was deleted?

Dontwatchfootball · 14/09/2021 21:18

I don't think it is ok to call anyone names - you can argue, sure, and disagree, but if you get to name calling it is not a good sign. If you both do it, perhaps you could agree together not to. If only he does it, I would get out - belittling you is never a good sign.

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 14/09/2021 21:20

He sounds immature, jealous and pathetic tbh. Everyone has a past. I'd ditch him!

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 14/09/2021 21:21

@dunkaccino

Just tell him that you're very sorry, and you did over-react, but you didn't want to have to tell him that your ex had a huge cock and was absolutely amazing in bed.

And then see how funny he finds that.

This!!
MrsMaizel · 14/09/2021 21:21

Can we have a pic of your ex ?

LimeRedBanana · 14/09/2021 21:23

@MrsMaizel

Can we have a pic of your ex ?
Why?
Anniegetyourgun · 14/09/2021 21:24

Mumsnet has rather unusual formatting. The caret symbol at the start and end of a section gives italics, whilst asterisks make it bold. There is no after-post editing facility; iirc MNHQ have said it's because this is such a fast-moving site that there could be several pages of replies before someone finishes correcting their original post. So you're stuck with whatever you pressed print on, and if it contains a mistake you can guarantee no-one will notice your following post with the correction.

As for "you sound as bad as each other": no, no you don't. He sounds ghastly. Your reply was snippy but quite understandable in the circumstances. He was winding you up, after a while it worked, then he called you names for giving it back. Definitely bin time. Hopefully your next boyfriend will have an emotional age of more than 10 (with apologies to 10-year-olds).

TheRabbitStoleMyHat · 14/09/2021 21:24

Well how do we know, you haven’t given us details!

Except she has.

MrsMaizel · 14/09/2021 21:24

because it's a stupid idea like a diagram ? 🙄🙄🙄😂😂😂