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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He said I was being bitchy

166 replies

triedtired · 14/09/2021 18:09

During an argument. New relationship of 6 months, he called me pathetic and bitchy during an argument. AIBU to be extremely angry? Am I being dramatic?

OP posts:
debbieupper9 · 14/09/2021 21:27

He sounds like a bully, does he do stuff like this often?

toocold54 · 14/09/2021 21:34

I don’t think the word bitchy is offensive, it would be different if he called you a bitch. Both words he’s used to describe your actions rather than something personal about you, which is a big difference.
If someone says you’re acting childish that’s fine if you are but if someone says you have the body of a child then that would be insulting.

TreeTed · 14/09/2021 21:35

From your update, LTB

LimeRedBanana · 14/09/2021 21:36

@toocold54

I don’t think the word bitchy is offensive, it would be different if he called you a bitch. Both words he’s used to describe your actions rather than something personal about you, which is a big difference. If someone says you’re acting childish that’s fine if you are but if someone says you have the body of a child then that would be insulting.
Way to miss the point.

Her actions weren’t bitchy, so he’s wrong however you try to frame it.

SunshineCake · 14/09/2021 21:39

I'd dump. No question.

Invisiblewoman1 · 14/09/2021 21:40

I don’t think it matters what you said or didn’t say , do you want to be with someone who calls you bitchy?

If a man calls a woman a bitch, emotional or dramatic it’s a red flag for me.

ChargingBuck · 14/09/2021 21:42

@triedtired

The argument was because he sent a photo of someone I've slept with before him and said "I can't believe you've f him" with lots of laughing emojis. I said it wasn't funny. He carried on taking the piss and also said "I find it shocking you looked at him and thought mmm I wanna f him." I said "I am bored of this" and "message me when you're over it."

He thinks I was nasty, can't take a joke and should apologise for how I reacted.

I don't know why some of it is bold and underlined - I can't change it sorry!

If you need to ask "AIBU to be extremely angry, am I being dramatic?" about this ... you need some counselling, pronto.

Is he dumped & blocked yet?

EveningOverRooftops · 14/09/2021 21:46

So he got a picture of your EX and sent it to you?

Red flag 1 hes insecure enough to look up your exes.

Took the piss out of you for shagging the EX then got angry you didn’t ‘get the joke’

Red flag two he’ll think you’re still into the EX even though you’re respectful and not getting into slagging off exes.

He called you bitchy and pathetic

Red flag number 3 hes projecting his own insecurities and nature at you.

HE was bitchy about your ex and HE was pathetic to not only compare himself to your ex in that way but tried to demean your choice of EX and respectfulness not to get on board with HIS bitching.

LTB. Ain’t worth it.

lockdownalli · 14/09/2021 21:49

He's an arsehole.

Dump him.

NannyAndJohn · 14/09/2021 21:53

Regardless of what you were arguing about, he resorted to misogynistic language.

YANBU.

chaosrabbitland · 14/09/2021 21:54

@triedtired

The argument was because he sent a photo of someone I've slept with before him and said "I can't believe you've f him" with lots of laughing emojis. I said it wasn't funny. He carried on taking the piss and also said "I find it shocking you looked at him and thought mmm I wanna f him." I said "I am bored of this" and "message me when you're over it."

He thinks I was nasty, can't take a joke and should apologise for how I reacted.

I don't know why some of it is bold and underlined - I can't change it sorry!

so have you thought of never seeing him again once he sent you that message ? id hope so , he sounds like hes got the maturity of a 12 year old
Atalune · 14/09/2021 21:58

@triedtired

The argument was because he sent a photo of someone I've slept with before him and said "I can't believe you've f him" with lots of laughing emojis. I said it wasn't funny. He carried on taking the piss and also said "I find it shocking you looked at him and thought mmm I wanna f him." I said "I am bored of this" and "message me when you're over it."

He thinks I was nasty, can't take a joke and should apologise for how I reacted.

I don't know why some of it is bold and underlined - I can't change it sorry!

Yeah calling you bitchy is the least of your worries
Closetbeanmuncher · 14/09/2021 22:00

The argument was because he sent a photo of someone I've slept with before him and said "I can't believe you've f him" with lots of laughing emojis. I said it wasn't funny. He carried on taking the piss and also said "I find it shocking you looked at him and thought mmm I wanna f him." I said "I am bored of this" and "message me when you're over it."

What a tedious twat - does he usually pull these type of dick moves?

billy1966 · 14/09/2021 22:02

He sounds awful.

Dump.

DeletedByAccident · 14/09/2021 22:02

@TempName01

I would reply ‘yes I’ve always had poor taste in men, thanks for making me realise it’s time I fixed that’
Perfect!
GatoradeMeBitch · 14/09/2021 22:03

He was being pathetic. And bitchy.

He was jealous and wanted you to put the guy down to make him feel better, or he just wanted to make you feel bad about yourself.

Text him that he's dumped. Reason - Because he is pathetic and bitchy.

gluteustothemaximus · 14/09/2021 22:09

I would reply ‘yes I’ve always had poor taste in men, thanks for making me realise it’s time I fixed that’

Best reply ever.

Please do this OP!! Grin

MouseholeCat · 14/09/2021 22:15

This guy is weird, run a mile. He literally sounds like he's not matured beyond 15 years old.

BlueberrySugar · 14/09/2021 22:21

He sounds immature and was wanting a reaction. I'd have told him it was the best sex of my life. Thank you for reminding me.

WithLargeTableMouse · 14/09/2021 22:33

The argument was because he sent a photo of someone I've slept with before him and said "I can't believe you've f him" with lots of laughing emojis. I said it wasn't funny. He carried on taking the piss and also said "I find it shocking you looked at him and thought mmm I wanna f him." I said "I am bored of this" and "message me when you're over it."

Op I’d really give him an example of just how bitchy you can be.
Reply and say ‘yes I did look at him and want to fuck him, and now I’ve fucked you too I’ve realised what I’m missing because he’s a way better at it than you are’

Seriously, dump this tragic loser.

Fraine · 14/09/2021 22:34

@MrsMaizel

because it's a stupid idea like a diagram ? 🙄🙄🙄😂😂😂
You’re the only one who has asked for a pic of her ex @MrsMaizel
DontBeAHaterDear · 14/09/2021 22:36

@triedtired

The argument was because he sent a photo of someone I've slept with before him and said "I can't believe you've f him" with lots of laughing emojis. I said it wasn't funny. He carried on taking the piss and also said "I find it shocking you looked at him and thought mmm I wanna f him." I said "I am bored of this" and "message me when you're over it."

He thinks I was nasty, can't take a joke and should apologise for how I reacted.

I don't know why some of it is bold and underlined - I can't change it sorry!

Based on that message and his reaction to your reply, no, you’re not being unreasonable, in fact I would argue he is being bitchy and pathetic Confused
wtfisgoingonhere21 · 14/09/2021 22:45

That's enough to make your vagina seal up op surely???

Heartofglass12345 · 14/09/2021 22:54

Dump him!

WhereYouLeftIt · 14/09/2021 22:55

@triedtired

The argument was because he sent a photo of someone I've slept with before him and said "I can't believe you've f him" with lots of laughing emojis. I said it wasn't funny. He carried on taking the piss and also said "I find it shocking you looked at him and thought mmm I wanna f him." I said "I am bored of this" and "message me when you're over it."

He thinks I was nasty, can't take a joke and should apologise for how I reacted.

I don't know why some of it is bold and underlined - I can't change it sorry!

"He said it's hurtful I accused him of trying to start an argument". He was trying to start an argument. His behaviour was goady to the extreme. Your response was not nasty, it's considerably more restrained than he deserved. His 'hurtful' drivel is all about him making out that he is the victim here, when actually he's the perpetrator. He was trying to hurt your feelings and make you feel small.

And as for "can't take a joke", that is the wail let out by every person EVER who have been pulled up for offensive goady fuckwitted behaviour. If it was a 'joke', he was the only one laughing, and you were the butt of his joke. It wasn't a joke. He was getting shitty at you because you'd had the temerity to have a life before you met him. His ego is obviously too fragile to handle that.

He wants you to apologise? Don't you dare! He has behaved abominably. There was absolutely no need for all this upset, it's all of his own making. The only appropriate apology would be TO you, not FROM you.

In short, one of the two of you is pathetic, and it ain't you! I'd dump him. Six months in and he's pulling stunts like this? He won't get any better.