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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He said I was being bitchy

166 replies

triedtired · 14/09/2021 18:09

During an argument. New relationship of 6 months, he called me pathetic and bitchy during an argument. AIBU to be extremely angry? Am I being dramatic?

OP posts:
2bazookas · 14/09/2021 18:48

Were you being a bitch? Just wondering.

nannannanana · 14/09/2021 18:52

I'm A bit of a bitch in arguments. I know this and I don't mean it and I am working on this. It's not a nice trait.

I think we've all been there at one point or another and been a bit of a bitch.

Calm down, think about what you have said and if it was said to you how it would have made you feel.

Maybe you were, maybe he's said that because he wants to deflect. Who knows.

We need context.

Elieza · 14/09/2021 18:53

That relationships out of the honeymoon phase now.

beastlyslumber · 14/09/2021 19:00

I don't think it's ever okay to name call in an argument. Regardless of how it all went down, any kind of verbal abuse is a red flag. Maybe it all escalated and there was verbal abuse from each of you? If so, you should end it and get some support to work on your own issues. Either way, I agree it's not good and you should end it.

Original poster
triedtired · 14/09/2021 19:04

I think it's one thing to say I'm BEING bitchy or pathetic. But he said I was bitchy and said I was pathetic.

OP posts:
Original poster
triedtired · 14/09/2021 19:05

He wouldn't call a man a bitch?

OP posts:
SpidersAreShitheads · 14/09/2021 19:08

@triedtired

I think it's one thing to say I'm BEING bitchy or pathetic. But he said I was bitchy and said I was pathetic.
I think you're quibbling over semantics OP.

You still haven't told us what you said or did. I'm guessing he perhaps had a point.

Original poster
triedtired · 14/09/2021 19:08

The argument was because he sent a photo of someone I've slept with before him and said "I can't believe you've f him" with lots of laughing emojis. I said it wasn't funny. He carried on taking the piss and also said "I find it shocking you looked at him and thought mmm I wanna f him." I said "I am bored of this" and "message me when you're over it."

He thinks I was nasty, can't take a joke and should apologise for how I reacted.

I don't know why some of it is bold and underlined - I can't change it sorry!

OP posts:
Original poster
triedtired · 14/09/2021 19:09

I don't understand what people are finding funny. Is calling your partner names an okay thing to do? Especially "bitchy". He would never say that to a man.

OP posts:
AhNowTed · 14/09/2021 19:12

I'd be 🙄 at his initial texts. How old is he for gods sake.

PollyPaintsFlowers · 14/09/2021 19:12

Talk about projection!!! He's the one being pathetic and bitchy! How dare he comment on and tease about who you've slept with. It's none of his damn business

cushioncovers · 14/09/2021 19:12

Dump him op, he sounds like an immature nasty piece of work.

TempName01 · 14/09/2021 19:14

I would reply ‘yes I’ve always had poor taste in men, thanks for making me realise it’s time I fixed that’

steff13 · 14/09/2021 19:15

@triedtired

I don't understand what people are finding funny. Is calling your partner names an okay thing to do? Especially "bitchy". He would never say that to a man.
He may not call a man bitchy, but he might call him an asshole or some other equally rude thing.

But, yeah, I'd stop talking to him after the first text.

Actually, I probably would have replied, "yeah, I definitely have a type," and then stop speaking to him.

Fireflygal · 14/09/2021 19:15

I think sending a photo and laughing is horrible and judgemental. I think he was starting a fight and when you didn't engage he band called.

Really doesn't bode well for future as he seems nasty and unpleasant

TheRabbitStoleMyHat · 14/09/2021 19:17

Now you’ve given context, he’s being an immature twat.

lazylinguist · 14/09/2021 19:17

He sounds like an arsehole tbh. I don't think there's anything inherently terrible about accusing someone of being bitchy if they are in fact being bitchy, but it's clear from your next post that he was entirely in the wrong. He wound you up in an unpleasant manner (sounding like a 12yo), then didn't like it when you (quite restrainedly imo) objected and withdrew from the conversation. He's a twat.

Original poster
triedtired · 14/09/2021 19:18

He said it's hurtful I accused him of trying to start an argument

OP posts:
VexedofVirginiaWater · 14/09/2021 19:19

That sort of comment would put me off wanting to fuck him ever again - why not tell him that with a load of laughing emojis. He obviously has a very high opinion of himself.

His comment was bitchy if anything.

Ellerehj · 14/09/2021 19:19

He sounds like a very immature person looking for a fight. I'd be seeing that as a massive red flag and saying bye bye 👋🏻

SpidersAreShitheads · 14/09/2021 19:20

If that's the sum total of your argument then I'd say you've got bigger problems than him saying you're bitchy.

I think you're way too hung up on whether men get called bitchy or not. If it helps, I've heard plenty of men be called bitchy.

Stop the flag-waving and address the real issue. You're in a relationship with an immature pillock - and if those texts are typical of your interactions, why on earth are you with him?

lazylinguist · 14/09/2021 19:20

He said it's hurtful I accused him of trying to start an argument

Hmm He thinks it's fine to say whatever goady, unpleasant he wants to you, but you're not even permitted to point out his behaviour because that's 'hurtful'. The hills are that way, OP ->

Anothermothernamegame · 14/09/2021 19:20

Him calling you bitchy is the least of the issue if you ask me.
Why is he searching your ex partners and mocking you/them? He sounds v needy and insecure, immature. Get rid.

lazylinguist · 14/09/2021 19:21

*goady unpleasant stuff

VexedofVirginiaWater · 14/09/2021 19:21

@triedtired

He said it's hurtful I accused him of trying to start an argument
What did he expect you to say? "Yeah I looked at him and though mmm I wanna f him" - I must have been mad - a bit like now with you.
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