‘Nice’ Things That Aren’t Actually

[WheelieBinPrincess]

Just a random musing.

Breakfast in bed- lovely idea, reality is you need to get up for a wee and then a tray is plonked on your lap, and groggy from sleep you are supposed to exclaim in delight over bits of pastry flaking into your sheets and slopping coffee down yourself and trying to subtly get the sluggy bits of fat off the bacon because you usually just get medallions.

Relaxing massage- I went the other day and I kept thinking ‘I’ll switch off and enjoy it in a minute’ but just kept thinking about whether to get the tube or the bus home and if there are oven chips in the freezer or not or if I watered my peace lily last week and if not it’s probably died. Then it was finished and it cost me £80.

Anyone got anything they can add to things that sound so nice as an idea but in reality are just not really?

Getting your hair:

• fantasy, waltzing in, relaxing for an hour with a glass of champagne, coming out looking like a celeb
• reality, battling with town centre parking, drinking cold cup of stewed tea, feeling claustrophobic sitting for hours with foils on your head, coming out with a headache because it's was so noisy.

For me - cooking and baking. Ingredients cost £££, too much thinking about timing, presentation, what it will turn out like - the stressing and washing up cancels out any enjoyment (if the damn thing turns out right).

And if it doesn't turn out right - argh! Money down the drain and me berating myself. So I stick to tried and tested staples.

Baking with kids!!! Yes kids, come into my lovely clean kitchen and get food colouring and icing sugar all over worktops and every cupboard you can reach then for good measure all over the floor and don’t forget to walk in it 🤬

Cup of tea in bed. By the time it's brought up I'm bored of reading while waiting for it and just want to get up. I'm
Then I'm behind all day and expected to be feeling pampered because I had tea in bed.

Nope.

Spontaneous visits from people. Nice for them as they turn up at a convenient time of their choosing, not so nice for the visited if they are still half-dressed, the house is a state and they have run out of milk.

Flowers. Of a variety that you don't like, in colours you hate but feel guilty about not displaying.

Other people's not-so-good home made efforts such as jams that aren't properly cooked so they are more like jelly than jam, etc, and in a fruit that you don't like eg plum. I'll never eat them but you still feel guilty throwing them away.

Romantic meals for two at home. You will never get away from thinking about the washing that needs hanging out etc.

@LaBellina

I’m actually considering that *@Letsallscreamatthesistene*. I hate all this pressure so I think I’m going to be just like my nan who always went to bed at 10 on NYE

Ive been doing it since I was about 27. I can recommend it.

Agree with every single one of these!

The horror of massages… so awkward. I’ve only had two, but each time I was wound up and tense, then left alone in a cold room with some naff pan pipes, and, yes, mind racing about all sorts of things including the stress of whether you are supposed to tip.

Agree re baths, especially with bath bombs- nice idea but basically takes ages getting hot and wet and can't even wash my hair. I can't even read in a hot bath because my glasses steam up.

Fancy cup cakes- when they were really fashionable I bought quite a few, assuming that since they look so nice and everyone raves about them I must have previously just been unlucky enough to buy rubbish ones. I now realise that however expensive they are the real focus is on appearance- they are invariably tasteless with dry cake and enough butter icing to make even me feel sick.

@WaltzForDebbie

Getting your hair:

• fantasy, waltzing in, relaxing for an hour with a glass of champagne, coming out looking like a celeb
• reality, battling with town centre parking, drinking cold cup of stewed tea, feeling claustrophobic sitting for hours with foils on your head, coming out with a headache because it's was so noisy.

Yes to this. I hear of other people getting their hair done as a treat, I see it as something to be braved.

Martinis- try making them ‘backwards’ ie swap the amounts of vodka and vermouth. Much more palatable,

I get breaks in bed every day

Barbecues, burnt / raw food, cheap white bread rolls, rain and warm beer. Bleurgh!!

Massages however, I love. I go to a lady who gives the most relaxing massage and facial, and come home feeling like I'm walking on air and so chilled I'm almost comatose!

Drinking in the sun on a hot day

Fruit tea. Smells delicious. Tastes of nothing.

I have found my tribe...

Hateful in no particular order:
Massages
Foot rubs
Breakfast in bed
Bbq

Agree about lush bath bombs... I really want to like them but the last one I used it just looked like I laying in a swamp with twigs floating past me

Why does every single massage place play the same tinkly pan-pipey waterfall type noise?? I love having a massage the the soundtrack irritates the shit out of me (and gives me the giggles if I concentrate on it too hard)

I agree with lots of these. Why is it that every times there's one of these threads there's always someone comes on to say but you must like this thing because I say it's nice. You're just not doing it right, do it my way.

non religious people in church
The horror. I'm sure God can take it.

Picnics on beach
Kids on beach
Sex on beach
Anything on beach apart from lying down on a proper lounger with shade

Yes what IS it with fruit tea? Why do they all taste like compost?

Artisan 'anything'. Usually means it's overpriced.

Going for a manicure - it’s torture!! Tried it twice never again!!

Any shop bought cake - I can bake better.

Another vote for barbecues. And family holidays - so stressful, hoping everyone gets on.

Christmas markets
BBQs
Being a guest at someone's wedding
Hen Parties

Camping or caravanning. I can never sleep so end up having no rest.