‘Nice’ Things That Aren’t Actually

[WheelieBinPrincess]

Just a random musing.

Breakfast in bed- lovely idea, reality is you need to get up for a wee and then a tray is plonked on your lap, and groggy from sleep you are supposed to exclaim in delight over bits of pastry flaking into your sheets and slopping coffee down yourself and trying to subtly get the sluggy bits of fat off the bacon because you usually just get medallions.

Relaxing massage- I went the other day and I kept thinking ‘I’ll switch off and enjoy it in a minute’ but just kept thinking about whether to get the tube or the bus home and if there are oven chips in the freezer or not or if I watered my peace lily last week and if not it’s probably died. Then it was finished and it cost me £80.

Anyone got anything they can add to things that sound so nice as an idea but in reality are just not really?

Bakery items in general
You walk past a bakery and it smells AMAZING.
Walk into bakery and there isnt one item that could possibly live up to the smell.
Ditto the biscuit factory that I used to pass on the train. (I didnt actually enter the factory but I cant think of a biscuit that tastes any thing like as good as it smells)

@Antsinyourpanta

Bakery items in general You walk past a bakery and it smells AMAZING. Walk into bakery and there isnt one item that could possibly live up to the smell. Ditto the biscuit factory that I used to pass on the train. (I didnt actually enter the factory but I cant think of a biscuit that tastes any thing like as good as it smells)

Gail's Cinnamon Buns are yummy though... or used to be.

@Antsinyourpanta

Bakery items in general You walk past a bakery and it smells AMAZING. Walk into bakery and there isnt one item that could possibly live up to the smell. Ditto the biscuit factory that I used to pass on the train. (I didnt actually enter the factory but I cant think of a biscuit that tastes any thing like as good as it smells)

Gregg’s cream apple danishes are delicious!

This is the best thread ever!

Even as a Brit myself, I've learned to be extremely suspicious of anything the British regard as "a lovely treat". There'll generally be soggy food and a lot of sitting in silence involved somehow.

'Good' wine. I just don't like it, it's too sour. I buy cheap fruity sweet wine and I love it. I even took it to a friend's house the other day so I could drink something I enjoy instead of wasting someone else's expensive (and horrible, to me) wine. I made a joke of it, explaining I only like cheap shit wine and I didn't expect anyone else to drink it. It's problematic with anyone other than close friends though because you can't take a bottle of what everyone else thinks is rubbish wine to someone else's house. So I have to buy expensive wine I don't enjoy!

@RedTitsMcGinty

Spooning. Don’t spoon me. Don’t even touch me. Stay the fuck over on your own side of the bed.

(Also, people who talk about being the big spoon/little spoon: spoons don’t work like that. Spoons only nestle properly when they’re the same size.)

Yes! I don't understand how you can spoon comfortably. Surely someone's arm is always in the wrong place and digs in or ends up numb through being laid on? Also I can't sleep while touching anyone else (also a reason why co-sleeping with children is my absolute worst nightmare)

@bonbonours

'Good' wine. I just don't like it, it's too sour. I buy cheap fruity sweet wine and I love it. I even took it to a friend's house the other day so I could drink something I enjoy instead of wasting someone else's expensive (and horrible, to me) wine. I made a joke of it, explaining I only like cheap shit wine and I didn't expect anyone else to drink it. It's problematic with anyone other than close friends though because you can't take a bottle of what everyone else thinks is rubbish wine to someone else's house. So I have to buy expensive wine I don't enjoy!

I am the same with chocolate. Don't waste my time with Green & Black's - give me a Milky Bar, any day.

Lightisnotwhite, I think you're right Balls may have gone out of fashion because they are so shit , or it maybe I haven't had to go to any thanks to Covid for quite a while. My husband is heavily involved in Sporting stuff so we often got invited to sports related Balls, and this was doubly shit as the 'good cause' in question was either a sports team or even worse the retirement fund of an international sporting person doing his 'testimonial year' who had far more money than us to begin with.

@BubbleCoffee you are going to be inundated with chocs, wedding invites, massages. Hope you have got time?

I'm not a fan of the works do. Spend all week with 'em, some I don't even like that much to be honest. Would rather go for a rare night out for pizza with an actual friend.

Eating out is often slightly disappointing.
£20/£30 - for something I could have done better at home.

@VeryQuaintIrene

sushi

I'm crazy about authentic sushi restaurants!!!

But ever since sushi got trendy, I agree that the kind of stuff you see sold in high street restaurants (or, worse, in those plastic tubs in supermarkets) is revolting. Wet rice and a crumb of cucumber for how much?

@choc1cheese1

Wow, lighten up girls, thinking a bit of relaxing, chilling, taking things as they come & taking “me” time is needed here!

Spa/massage - being pampered & enjoying spa facilities, what’s not to love!

Camping/picnic/bbq/eating outside - only a hassle if you make it a hassle!! Just enjoy the moment!!

Small kids outings - chill & enjoy, they’re only young once! Loved all our trips with our daughter and when I was pregnant I took my 4 childminding children on a day trip to Glasgow from Edinburgh on the train, one of the best days of my life!!

Family walks - don’t happen often enough, love when they do! Such fond memories of childhood family walks!!

Guests - just enjoy their company & the fact they want to stay with you! Ditto the other way for being a house guest!!

Your 'just chill and enjoy' message has just topped my list of nice things I hate.

@choc1cheese1 can I have a bit of whatever it is you’re having?

@InPraiseOfBacchus
Your post is the funniest thing I've read in awhile...and so true 🤣

Summer? Cats?! No way.

If you want a massage that you're not meant to enjoy get a sports massage. Quite painful but feels good after.

Mines got to be music festivals, like Greenman. Looks amazing in principle. Actually involves sitting in the rain listening to music you've never heard of, bored as fuck and paying hundreds of pounds for the privilege.

I agree MissLucyEyelesbarrow Expensive chocolate is nearly always inedible.

Another one: Salted Caramel.
Caramel ruined with salt.

Eco camping:
Dreams of clean living, back to nature, sunshine, wildflower meadows, rustic, wholesome goodness and fresh air.
Reality: No running water or electricity, damp, cold, rainy, muddy field, everyone stinks, everything gets dirty, you have to go to the toilet in a bucket... and to top it all off, ‘Cressida and Malcolm’ in the tent next door are either having loud sex or singing along to their guitar when you are trying to get to sleep.

Never again.

@Darlingx

Bunches of cut flowers in Cellophane. Controversial I know but it’s going to rot in the plastic . The cellophane outlives the bloom and its not pretty seeing plastic full of dead matter tethered. In fact why is everything wrapped in single use plastic still these days. When you see it enmasse I just think a posy out of plastic would look more like the gesture of what it was in the first place. Brown paper if it’s a gift ending up in a vase or an unwrapped posy if it’s for being left somewhere. Supermarkets need to find a solution to this I suppose.

Lots of supermarkets have introduced soft plastic recycling.

@SunShinesBrightly

Jam donuts. They should be gorgeously fluffy and soft with oozing smooth jam the centre. Instead they are nearly always dry on the outside with slimy dough on the inside surrounding the jam. Ring donuts are good thankfully!

Krispy Kreme doughnuts! 🤢🤢🤮

@NiceWelshLady
Yes! There is scheme here in the US going on right now at Krispy Kreme donut shops...if you've received your jabs you can take your vaccination card to a KK shop , show it to them, and receive a free donut every day until December 31 2021! We did it once, but were so disappointed that we've never been back...
Their donuts used to be the best 50 years ago but that ship has sailed !🤢🤢

Christmas markets

Tat at christmas markets.

Oh, Christmas markets. Nice once. Go back the next year and all the same tat is out for sale, it's been in storage since last winter.

And more expensive.

Head massage. Ended up going to GP with almighty headache (pre-Covid)
Cooking for 1 and taking longer to wash up than eat it.

I'll add eating out. Pre-sliced and reheated meat and frozen mixed veg, beans on toast 1/3 tin + 1 slice white bread for £3.50.
I hate paying for stuff I can do far better and cheaper at home (probably more hygienically too)