‘Nice’ Things That Aren’t Actually

[WheelieBinPrincess]

Just a random musing.

Breakfast in bed- lovely idea, reality is you need to get up for a wee and then a tray is plonked on your lap, and groggy from sleep you are supposed to exclaim in delight over bits of pastry flaking into your sheets and slopping coffee down yourself and trying to subtly get the sluggy bits of fat off the bacon because you usually just get medallions.

Relaxing massage- I went the other day and I kept thinking ‘I’ll switch off and enjoy it in a minute’ but just kept thinking about whether to get the tube or the bus home and if there are oven chips in the freezer or not or if I watered my peace lily last week and if not it’s probably died. Then it was finished and it cost me £80.

Anyone got anything they can add to things that sound so nice as an idea but in reality are just not really?

Water parks and theme parks.

Sandwiches from Subway (not envy)

I don't like getting my nails done - sitting in a slightly uncomfortable position, manicurist poking at the quick of my nails, making stilted conversation with someone I have little in common with but within the hearing of the rest of the shop, then flapping around for the next few days hoping not to get it scratched until I do, then scrubbing it off - not for me.

@OrangutanLibrarian

What a fucking miserable thread

Wow, tell us what it’s like to love EVERYTHING in the world

It's nice to have some joy in my life! But actually I didn't say I loved everything?! As I don't, but honestly this just seems like competitive misery. I'm happy for people to like what they like and try to take enjoyment where I can.

Ooh agree with gifts. Unless it's something you want or wouldn't treat yourself to. I know that sounds ungrateful, but the amount of things I've been given and don't use that then sit gathering dust because of the guilt is such a waste of money!

I'll also add: boxed chocolates and takeaway coffees (I really hate Costa) - never taste quite as nice as you'd think.

Fancy looking wool coats are never warm and are too tight around the shoulders. If I go up a size, then I look like she-hulk.

Being a wedding guest has always been boring, awkward and tiring. I do however appreciate that I've barely known many people at the ones I've attended and hate small talk.

Getting a black cab!

Perhaps we’re taking enjoyment in slagging off spa days, though.

It's just lighthearted, Neon. I'm sure we all have plenty of likes as well as dislikes.

Afternoon tea.

Sandwiches and scones and cakes and desserts all in an afternoon sitting? At least an evening meal you are writing the rest of the evening off. I just don't get it.

Please send your unwanted afternoon teas, boxes of chocolates, massages and wedding invitations this way

Definitely baths although I love hot tubs.

Christmas markets, too busy, expensive and mulled wine tastes like festive heartburn.

Centre Parcs, it's a bit creepy like Stepford Holidays with an underlying feeling of being ripped off.

Going on holiday with other families, it's almost always a massive eye opener.

Festive heartburn

Hot tubs at home.

Hired one last year for a couple of weeks over Xmas/new year.
Proper solid sided one. Yes it was lovely to be in, I used it late at night after work and slept amazingly well.

But jeez the PALAVER!!

@burritofan

Perhaps we’re taking enjoyment in slagging off spa days, though.

Exactly!

New shoes. A lot of people get excited/pleased about this. For me (flat feet, bunions, sensitive skin) its a week or more of discomfort and blisters as I break them in.

Massages. Not my idea of relaxation - getting felt up by a stranger.

Family move night. Kids bickering and hot dogs/popcorn getting dropped on the sofa and carpet.

Holidaying with small children.

Prosecco - too sweet and too fizzy.

Spa days (so boring, yawn).

work do's

Baths, shop bought cake, most takeaways, beach days and anything involving taking young children somewhere there supposed to enjoy. It costs a fortune, you’re attacked by wasps and someone always has a meltdown.

I felt similarly about baths for a long time but I persevered because soaling in Epsom salts really does ease my aches and pains. I read that I needed to spend a minimum of twenty minutes in there for it to have an effect, and that seemed unthinkable because it was so boring!

These days though, Audible is my friend. I take a speaker in there and listen to an audio book (sometimes music). I also take wine. The bath is now my happy place.

I hate going to the hairdressers. I wish haircuts could be done under general anaesthetic

*they’re

Beaches with kids
Family staying
Play dates
Organising children's parties
Nights out with school mums
Cooking something from a new cook book that takes ages

Pedicures - gave me an ingrown toe nail and the whole thing was just very underwhelming. Big waste of £30.

Long acrylic nails - they just get in the fucking way.

Skiing - but I don't like heights and couldn't even cope with the chair lifts; watching them on TV makes me dizzy.

Mother and baby groups.

Coconut cake.

OP, you are a very funny writer. Your description of breakfast in bed is exactly how I feel about it (add cold tea for added insult).

Mine:
A weekend lie in - Nope. I wake at normal time (because my body clock doesn't know it's Sunday...) then force myself to go back to sleep, wake up groggy and grumpy, bursting for a wee and feeling like I've wasted half the day.

Clothes shopping trips for 'fun' - the one thing you like is not in your size, queues for the fitting rooms, bored waiting for friend/sister/mum to try on 'one more' thing, if looking for a special outfit can't find anything you like, or it's 3x too expensive.

Flavoured popcorn. Never, ever lives up to the packaging and/or description.

I agree with so many of them !
Any kind of treatmet days like spa / massage / nails. Nip not for me.

Beaches are fine yo walk on and chuck a few pebbles in the sea, perhaps sit around for a he but any longer and I get bored.

Most romantic stuff is very over rated , unless it's truly spur of the moment then it can be ok

Picnics are too much hassle , the best one I went on was when me and DH had been out working together, we were staving so on the way home at 5am we stopped at a service station and bough scotch eggs , a couple of sandwiches crisps and soft drinks.
We found a park and sat on the grass and ate our grub listing to the birds.
6am picnics in the summer are ace

I have to disagree with the hating of baths though , I find something to listen to on Audible and can stay there for hours .

takeaway coffees (I really hate Costa) - never taste quite as nice as you'd think.
If you're going to Costa then you shouldn't be surprised. Properly made coffee in a good cafe is a little joy.