‘Nice’ Things That Aren’t Actually

[WheelieBinPrincess]

Just a random musing.

Breakfast in bed- lovely idea, reality is you need to get up for a wee and then a tray is plonked on your lap, and groggy from sleep you are supposed to exclaim in delight over bits of pastry flaking into your sheets and slopping coffee down yourself and trying to subtly get the sluggy bits of fat off the bacon because you usually just get medallions.

Relaxing massage- I went the other day and I kept thinking ‘I’ll switch off and enjoy it in a minute’ but just kept thinking about whether to get the tube or the bus home and if there are oven chips in the freezer or not or if I watered my peace lily last week and if not it’s probably died. Then it was finished and it cost me £80.

Anyone got anything they can add to things that sound so nice as an idea but in reality are just not really?

Dogs. They just stink, they slobber and shit everywhere, leave hair on everything, are energy drains, and cost a fortune. Picking up their shit. Not nice!

Beach days with children definitely!
But I love baths, massages and ski holidays…

Spa treatments
Pamper days
Ski-ing
Camping
Cruising
Festivals
Owning a dog
Eating outside

Dogs?!!!!!! No, dogs are the one thing in life that never disappoints.

Drinks in pubs generally. Paying the price of a bottle of wine for a single glass. Cocktails are one of the exceptions because I would never have all the ingredients at home so I actually don't begrudge it so much. Whereas wine and beer you can just buy in the supermarket. So why spend so much on to drink it in a crowded place where you have to wait ages to get served?

Firepits
Hottubs
House guests
Beach with small kids who can't walk/aren't toilet trained
Restaurant with small kids
Online enforced coffee breaks with new colleagues, I mean just wtf is this fresh hell
Clubbing
Learning languages
Massages /facials, I like pedicures though

I'll be back with more, I'm good at this game

Showers

I absolutely hate them, I don't like standing up to wash, so in the very unlikely event that I have to have one, I kneel in the bath.

Love a long hot bath! I spend hours in mine, topping up the hot water now and then.

Yes fruit teas. Smell lovely taste of nothing.

Works dos (especially Xmas)
Going out for drinks on an evening
Hen dos
Xmas Eve

I think I'm noticing a pattern here

Sunbathing, especially on a sandy beach.

@Neonplant

What a fucking miserable thread.

In the voice of Mrs Doyle “Maybe we like the misery”.

Ohh yeah, parma ham. Like uncooked candle wax. As if that's better than carver ham

Misery loves company, dontcha know

picnics.

Art in school, often billed as a "nice relaxed afternoon". I raise you: paint. Paint everywhere. Children milling around to get more paint/water/paper towels to clear up spillages of either of the above. Children crying because they "can't do it" (usually children who find more academic subjects easier and therefore have less experience of having to be resillient and keep going when something's difficult). No white paint. Why is there never any white? Paint on school uniforms (usually on a Monday). And then cleaning up - either the carnage of children cleaning up themselves (looks like a murder scene in the sink) or having to do it yourself once they're gone (takes forever).

Musicals. The abrupt forays into a song always gets in the way of the story and the songs are usually rubbish anyway

Presents - unless flowers, books, nice booze (though I don't drink alcohol). Anything else is just clutter that I either have to make a space for, or get rid of it.

Theatre - hot venues, scratchy seats, queue for the loos, my restless legs start to go well before the end ...

Holidays - hate the performance of having to pack, worry about leaving the house and cat unattended, hate the whole airport experience would rather stay at home or have a day out but don't let on to my dear husband

Gnocchi - dense, potato stodge; really can't stand it at all.

Being invited to weddings, birthdays, nights out people you barley know

Naps- transport me to another dimension when i wake up

Children-lovely when quiet and calm but not so lovely when screaming/charging around

Sun and warm weather- can fuck right off

Horses- lovely animals but their owners/fans/groupies can fuck right off

Hot sunny days - just hate them. Hate feeling hot. Hate feeling sweaty. Hate having to expose skin that clearly isn't burnished and bronzed. Hate 99% of Summer clothes. Give me a chilly, damp day and I'm happy.

Babies - so, so dull. They make such a mess and knacker you out - you rush around all day. All. Day. But have literally nothing to show for all your activity, except that no one has died.

Country walks in the fresh air - oh God, do I really have to? I can just about manage to walk from the car to a nice, country pub but that's my limit.

Jesus CHRIST I love a bit of misery but I just CANNOT BELIEVE that someone has said Christmas Eve???? Wtf?! Christmas Eve is the best day of the year and everyone knows it.

Mini breaks. Usually to somewhere overly busy and touristy at the busiest time ie the weekend.
Not enough time to recover from Fridays “we’ made it here” hangover before the required looking round all day. More effort for the special night out that you wish you hadn’t booked and then it’s realising that places are shut or rammed solid on Sunday. 4 days is my minimum now.

As well as my post above, I’m definitely with those who don’t like showers much— I can never seem to get temperature right and I like to read in the bath or look at mumsnet- in fact many of my best posts have been whilst in the bath!! I also don’t like really hot weather— a nice 24 degrees with sun and a breeze suits me just fine — hence why I didn’t like48 degrees in Milton Keynes/sorry Dubai!!

Mini breaks makes me think of the first Bridget Jones book. Yeah they are overrated!

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

Eating outside

THIS!!!!!

'Romantic' anything. Bath, dinner, walk, night in. Never lives up to expectations.