To feel annoyed when people brag about not having kids

[Ellerehj]

I see it so much on social media and I work with younger people who are very anti children. I completely respect people's decision to not have children. But I feel like they speak about people with kids like we're trapped it stuck with these awful little life suckers? When I don't feel like that at all.
AIBU to think it's really rude

I don't care who has kids and who doesn't, but some of the utter hatred and vitriol I've heard and read towards children, hating them to the point of wishing them harm is really weird. A lot of it on Facebook from aggressively childfree people trying to be edgy.
When I was a kid I had a teacher who used to tell us she hated children (lol, the 90s) and it was obvious in her teaching methods. Like, I don't give a damn who you share your DNA with but that kind of thing is odd.

[quote faelavie]@SecretSpAD fair enough but was only mildly interested, wasn't really any need to be rude[/quote]
I think you mean. Did I mean to be so rude.

Yep. I did.

@PinkFootstool

Sanctimommies are even more irritating than evangelical child free people.

Said as a childless person.

Agree with this - as someone who has a child.

Nothing worse than sitting beside someone sanctimoniously going on about the joys of parenthood and never knowing love like a child's etc in front of childless people, as if it's some kind of horror that people wouldn't actually want children.

My face usually looks like this

@faelavie

I don't care who has kids and who doesn't, but some of the utter hatred and vitriol I've heard and read towards children, hating them to the point of wishing them harm is really weird. A lot of it on Facebook from aggressively childfree people trying to be edgy. When I was a kid I had a teacher who used to tell us she hated children (lol, the 90s) and it was obvious in her teaching methods. Like, I don't give a damn who you share your DNA with but that kind of thing is odd.

Where on earth are all these comments from ‘aggressively child free people’ as you put it who hate children to the point where they wish them harm? Seriously, where are you finding these people?

I,ah have been a child - but even then, I found children younger than me or the same age as me profoundly irritating.

Those feelings never left me. Children - those below the age of about 16 - still irritate the hell out of me and I don't enjoy, and actively avoid their company. My niece and nephew have been the exception to this, obviously (for those who remember me from other threads) but then, they were never young children, more like miniature adults.

And no, I'm not massively grateful that my parents had me. They had children because it was expected of them in that time and in their class. My father is pretty cool, but my mother was a toxic bitch.

@Usual2usualp Yep I think you are misunderstanding the tax comment. Whether someone hates children or not is neither here not there. Nobody on here says that people shouldn’t have kids so your rant about bin men is irrelevant.

The tax comment is not well thought out because everyone pays tax and some people take more out in government benefits and use of services. That tends to be people with children. So it is weird to ask whose tax will pay for social care as social care is for the young as well as the elderly.

I,ah have been a child - but even then, I found children younger than me or the same age as me profoundly irritating.

Me too - when I was very young, there was a child about 3 yrs younger than me next door and he used to call me over to play - I used to hate going over there

I agree with PPS that it goes the other way a lot as well in life in general. What I do dislike is ostentatious child hatred or "thank fuck I don't have kids, how awful" on Mumsnet. I mean... And I know this has been done to death, but... It's Mumsnet. Not "every bloody woman" net or "generic platform" net. I do think there should be a basic assumption, not that all posters are mums, but at least that they don't consider motherhood to be some sort of wretched servile or irresponsible state to be looked down upon or censured. The number of child haters and anti-natalists on here always boggles my mind. I mean, why here?? Is there not Reddit?

The comments from parents are not always meant to be depressing. More like older sibling will warn younger brother/sister: "Stop complaining about nap time in kindergarten, wait till you get to school and have to study all day." Does it mean that school is all bad, because you have lost playtime you had in kindergarten? No, it's hard, but important experience with valuable outcome. I know that comparison is rude, sorry. But that's the spirit these parenting comments often have, not doom and gloom.

@LindaWilson

Not at all lovely. People without kids often don't understand the challenges being a parent causes, and often wouldn't expect the things they say to have such effects. Enjoy the time you spend with your kids and stay safe :)

Another example of the kind of sentiments expressed over the years that make me want to plunge my face into a vat of wine and pass out for the night 🤣

So. Bloody. Condescending.

@Draineddraineddrained

I agree with PPS that it goes the other way a lot as well in life in general. What I do dislike is ostentatious child hatred or "thank fuck I don't have kids, how awful" on Mumsnet. I mean... And I know this has been done to death, but... It's Mumsnet. Not "every bloody woman" net or "generic platform" net. I do think there should be a basic assumption, not that all posters are mums, but at least that they don't consider motherhood to be some sort of wretched servile or irresponsible state to be looked down upon or censured. The number of child haters and anti-natalists on here always boggles my mind. I mean, why here?? Is there not Reddit?

Do you feel the same when the actual mums complain about their kids (or other kids)?

@user1478172746

The comments from parents are not always meant to be depressing. More like older sibling will warn younger brother/sister: "Stop complaining about nap time in kindergarten, wait till you get to school and have to study all day." Does it mean that school is all bad, because you have lost playtime you had in kindergarten? No, it's hard, but important experience with valuable outcome. I know that comparison is rude, sorry. But that's the spirit these parenting comments often have, not doom and gloom.

Yes that is rude. It implies childfree people are thick as pigshit and need to be told what it’s going to be like by people who know more. What a lot of old shit

If they are young, they might change their minds. People often do.

It's no more unacceptable than people endlessly boasting about their kids.

I disagree that it’s full of child free people having a go at those with kids. Mothers having a pop at each other, yes

@Plumtree391

If they are young, they might change their minds. People often do.

It's no more unacceptable than people endlessly boasting about their kids.

Have you ever told someone who wants kids that they might change their mind?

If they are young, they might change their minds. People often do.

Well patronising them by implying they don’t know their own mind is very helpful

If someone said ‘I want a child at some point’ would you say ‘you will change your mind when you’re older?’ No? Thought not

Just for future reference, the correct reply to someone telling you they don’t want kids is ‘okay then’

@Plumtree391

If they are young, they might change their minds. People often do.

It's no more unacceptable than people endlessly boasting about their kids.

I've known I haven't wanted children since I was 14.

"You might change your mind" is something I hear more often than not.

It's been 22 years and I haven't.

And actually I have never heard that kind of patronising bollocks from a man - so in some ways women fuck up women without the aid of the patriarchy.

AIBU to think it's really rude

YABU. You have obviously never been faced with years of "Oh the selfish women who refuse to have children" or the "Once you're a mother, you know what love really means"

I don’t hate children. I don’t particularly want to spend time with them. I have ASD and their squeals and shouts physically hurt me.

I also think it happens both ways.

I also think I'm stuck with these annoying little life sucker's.

@Plumtree391

If they are young, they might change their minds. People often do.

It's no more unacceptable than people endlessly boasting about their kids.

Awful thing to say. It implies to someone who doesn’t want kids that their way of thinking or decision is somehow wrong and they will surely come to their senses one day and realise that having kids is the correct decision. I can’t believe that some people still think it’s an acceptable thing to say.

I don't have children and have never bragged about it to anyone.

However, there are those who claim it's "selfish" to not want children (I'm still waiting to hear why?), and then you get those who say "you never know love until you have a child" etc. I find that rude.

Then there are those who would happily throw their DH/DP to the wolves once they have the children they crave. Lovely attitude.

Sorry @KaycePollard - I said almost exactly the same as you, hadn't read your post!