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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave a small child high and dry?

496 replies

SewhereIam · 13/09/2021 13:33

I give a lift to a boy in my dd's class, and drop him off after school. They live 30 mins from school, so I drive 20 mins in the wrong direction and then 30 mins on to school, and the same in the afternoon. We live a 10 min drive from school so it adds 40 mins to our morning.

I don't pick up my dd one evening after school, and don't drop off the following morning, due to ex--p's access. The mother of the other child has said I still need to do her school run as she has no other way of him getting to or from school. He is reception aged.

The child is always ready on time and is a lovely little boy, but nothing is contributed towards petrol etc and, while I don't expect it, I thought it was a short term thing while she sorted out suitable transport. It turns out I seem to be that suitable transport and she expects this for the rest of the school year!

I feel bad for saying that I will not collect her child.

OP posts:
DameFanny · 13/09/2021 19:39

Genuinely flabbergasted here. And she's that CF I wouldn't be surprised if she tried to lay on all the guilt. But all you need to say it's 'I'm sorry, you'll have to go back to whatever plan you made when you enrolled the kid at school'. Because what the fuck was her plan?

QueenBee52 · 13/09/2021 19:43

Mmm.... I read that asI feel too guilty to do it" as the rest of her* post certainly didn't suggest it had already been nipped in the bud.But I could be wrong.*

Aahh ok.. yes I see what you mean 🤣

EmoIsntDead · 13/09/2021 19:51

This can't be real, nobody is this much of a mug!

MLMbotsno · 13/09/2021 19:53

"The mother of the other child has said I still need to do her school run as she has no other way of him getting to or from school. He is reception aged"

Very rude. I would distance yourself and get out of this arrangement which only benefits only her! You are putting yourself out for a person that doesn't contribute and seems ungrateful and rude.

Dump this user.

erictries · 13/09/2021 19:53

You are NOT leaving a small child high and dry. The mum is.
It's the mum's child. The mum's responsibility. This needs to stop. Please don't feel guilty.

Erwhatno · 13/09/2021 19:55

Sorry, what? How was she planning on getting her child to school before you turned up Confused

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 13/09/2021 19:55

What? This is madness! You need to tell her no and be prepared to be really hard faced about it as she will definitely try and grind you down. I can't believe the audacity of this woman!

DaphneDeloresMoorhead · 13/09/2021 19:56

If she can't do the school run why did she apply to a school so far away ?

Beautiful3 · 13/09/2021 20:03

This cannot be real?! Op never came back, starting to think it's made up!

Imnothereforthedrama · 13/09/2021 20:09

@DaphneDeloresMoorhead

If she can't do the school run why did she apply to a school so far away ?
That was my first thought did she just think I know I’ll just tell some mug that she needs to collect my ds home . I’d say I’m sorry have you got me confused with a taxi cab company . What a cf please tell us op you have told her that today was the last time .
Dontwanttobeatwat · 13/09/2021 20:18

Oh jeez, definitely not!

viques · 13/09/2021 20:30

I wonder if this was going to be a reverse but the OP realised their error and withdrew from the field.

Rainbowsew · 13/09/2021 20:37

No way! Just say no more....

I'm amazed at these stories, never come across this irl, maybe I have the kind of face That says F off before anyone tries Grin

Lockdownbear · 13/09/2021 20:44

@Rainbowsew

No way! Just say no more....

I'm amazed at these stories, never come across this irl, maybe I have the kind of face That says F off before anyone tries Grin

That has crossed my mind too, but then most mums I know are working at least part-time. Who actually has time to run around after other people's kids.
MrsSkylerWhite · 13/09/2021 20:52

No, you are most definitely not being unreasonable.

Before I knew where I was, it was, could you also drop his sister off at nursery, it’s on the way (oh, and would you mind “just” taking her in and handing her over too?), could you “just” wait for 45 minutes because he has football practice after school (different years) and could you just drop her off at dance class (20 minute detour and parking up and taking her in) on the way home.

Just a big, fat, loud NO!

SeigneurLapindeGrantham · 13/09/2021 20:54

I think you should have a quiet word with the class teacher about this.
Who do these people think they are fgs.

ViceLikeBlip · 13/09/2021 20:57

Apologies, not rtft, but if they live 30 mins from school either a) They're entitled to free school transport, or B) they picked a school that wasn't their closest school with no way of getting the kid there?!

Niffler92 · 13/09/2021 21:03

No chance you were kind enough to do one day no more! You are not a taxi! How did she think she’d get him there when she enrolled him, she needs to move him to a school closer to home.

Cryalot2 · 13/09/2021 21:09

Op you are obviously v kind and were caught unawares.
You do feel sorry for the child. I wonder what the circumstances are at home.
It is strange his mum's behaviour. Should the school be made aware of this.
There is so much not adding up with his mum's behaviour.
Or would people be like this?
It clearly needs to stop and I guess the mum who asked you was afraid of being lumbered.
But we have a pre school child whose mum seems to not want to take him to and from school and not know who is doing so.
I worry about the child and his circumstances.

ZenNudist · 13/09/2021 21:12

Please tell her you won't be doing it any more. Any day. It's massively out of your way. Fine to help once but as a regular thing and asking you to do a school run for her when you're not even going takes the cake!

Howshouldibehave · 13/09/2021 21:12

@TooMuchPaper

Everyday is a doormat day on MN.
Yep!

Surely this can’t be real-nobody could be that much of a pushover.

Some people must lead very bizarre lives.

Newbabynewhouse · 13/09/2021 21:12

I voted the wrong one by accident!! I think you're being ridiculous and definitely have mug on your head! His mother is taking the piss out of you!!! Are the quiet shy type that doesn't like confrontation? I bet I'm right? I'm that type, but would not let someone do this to me! What a piss take
.. tell her you can't do it anymore.. don't feel sorry for the kid, he's her responsibility not yours! Sorry makes me angry!!

nomoneytreehere · 13/09/2021 21:14

Gosh I thought you were going to drop feed that it was your sister or something. That's batshit. And it's not you leaving the child high and dry it's his own mother. Why is he at your school? Surely there are local schools to her?

BungleandGeorge · 13/09/2021 21:16

If the council assigned that school they are required to provide transport. If her child is at that school because she chose it it’s her own responsibility to get him there and nothing to do with you. Is it a relative?

Newmumatlast · 13/09/2021 21:16

@TinnedPotatoesRock

The mother of the other child has said I still need to do her school run as she has no other way of him getting to or from school. He is reception aged

Anyone who spoke to me like that would be getting a mouthful, he's not your responsibility to get too and from school. You need to tell her the arrangement stops now and tell her why - cheeky cow

Yep if someone made this demand of me they would find themselves without ANY transport on ANY day.