To leave a small child high and dry?

[SewhereIam]

I give a lift to a boy in my dd's class, and drop him off after school. They live 30 mins from school, so I drive 20 mins in the wrong direction and then 30 mins on to school, and the same in the afternoon. We live a 10 min drive from school so it adds 40 mins to our morning.

I don't pick up my dd one evening after school, and don't drop off the following morning, due to ex--p's access. The mother of the other child has said I still need to do her school run as she has no other way of him getting to or from school. He is reception aged.

The child is always ready on time and is a lovely little boy, but nothing is contributed towards petrol etc and, while I don't expect it, I thought it was a short term thing while she sorted out suitable transport. It turns out I seem to be that suitable transport and she expects this for the rest of the school year!

I feel bad for saying that I will not collect her child.

Assuming this is an independent school? If so I bet there is a school bus. If not the child should be at a school nearer his house! You should terminate the arrangement or you will be doing it for the next 7 years! You won't be leaving the child high and dry. It's his parents' responsibility.

While the school might not know who's mum, ie confidently put face to the name in the first week. I'd be surprised at a child happily going with a random woman.
The school ask them to point out their Mum, until they become familiar with the parents.
Interesting proposition that a new Reception starter would point to a complete stranger. A lot of safeguarding chats to be had with any kid that would do that...

So many questions….

So random mum, or mum you know, asks you at the school gates to take someone else’s child (random boy) to school. Why did she ask you of all people? How did she get involved in this?

Whose car seat are you using, his or a spare one?

School just accept you’re now taking this boy and picking him up?

The boy is happy going into a random stranger’s car?

The mum has no idea who you are and just tells you to take the boy?

Why is he going to a school 30mins away?

Your dd is happy to sit in the car for an extra 40mins per journey?

If this is real I’d say there were major issues at home and would be telling the school.

Wasn't there a similar storyline in "MotherLand" ? Poor downtrodden Anne and her MPV.

Op you are only letting this child down if you have a taxi driver liscense + insurance+ contract to transport him then you renage on the contract .
But you arent

@Battlingongraciously Are you saying you are also posting on this thread as Bollockstothat?

They aren't Change - I'm definitely not them and they're not me!

@GreyhoundG1rl

While the school might not know who's mum, ie confidently put face to the name in the first week. I'd be surprised at a child happily going with a random woman. The school ask them to point out their Mum, until they become familiar with the parents. Interesting proposition that a new Reception starter would point to a complete stranger. A lot of safeguarding chats to be had with any kid that would do that...

Presumably the other mum has rung up the school and said that OP is picking up her child. It's not particularly odd for that to happen (e.g. playdates). The school may even line up OP's DD and the boy together, so it's just DD that has to point out her mum

Shamelessly placemarking to see if the OP returns with an update. Staggering levels of CF!

[quote Bollockstothat]**@Battlingongraciously Are you saying you are also posting on this thread as Bollockstothat?

They aren't Change - I'm definitely not them and they're not me![/quote]

No I think waterlego was correct, they thought PP meant literally the previous poster not a previous poster, ha.

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

The mother of the other child has said I still need to do her school run as she has no other way of him getting to or from school.

Oh she's good. She is being so brazen she is actually making you feel like this is your problem.

It isn't.

Send a text telling her you're unable to do anymore school runs, don't apologise, and don't let her talk you into doing just one or two more, don't offer to do emergencies either.

She is a random school mum, she doesn't get any say over what you should or shouldn't be doing with your own time and money.

Why doesn't the other school mum do it then if he's so busy volunteering you OP

No no no

I agree you should end this almost immediately*, in the meantime if you continue you should check that you are insured for it.

*If you decide to continue after today you have a natural break point when your DD goes to ex-p. You can stop for good on that day this week. Tell (again) the little boy's parents that you are not available to help from that day onwards. (Not just on that afternoon and the following morning, but forever - including the morning of the day DD goes to ex-p, otherwise you will feel obliged to get the boy home again.)

"I can do it until Tues/Wed/Thur/Fri this week but then DD goes to ex-p so I won't be doing it after that' - if you find it easier to impose a hard deadline with a simple reason. But you don't need to give a reason. Just like you don't need to give a lift.

You can still be compassionate towards this little boy - by informing the school about what has been going on - as he is only in Year R they may have no idea about his situation.

Where is your older DD during the extra 1 hour 20 minutes per day you and your younger DD are in the car going to and from the boy's home? That is 5 hours 20 minutes per week if you do 4 days or 6 hours 40 minutes if you do the extra day when you don't have your own children in the car.

Gosh - she can't tell you that you have to do her school run! How cheeky! I think you need to stop this now. You have been very kind but I think you need to make it clear after this week you won't be able to do it anymore. And don't do it on the day you don't take your DD this week either.

@LostSocksBrigade

Just say due to a change in your circumstances you won't be able to do it anymore starting from next week, so she has this week to figure out alternate transport.

This.

OP, you are not leaving the child high and dry. He is not your responsibility to get to school and you need to nip it in the bud straightaway.

Glad you refused.

@QueenBee52

Glad you refused.

Has the OP namechanged @QueenBee52?

Where does she say she refused?

Def very cheeky. If he's out of catchment why isn't there a school taxi?

She didn't. She didn't come back.
Wind 'em up and let 'em go.

No one is this much of a mug but MN would have you believe there's hundreds of people bending over backwards for people and don't know what to do about it

@WitchBaby

She didn't. She didn't come back. Wind 'em up and let 'em go.

She's still on the school run

She's still on the school run
🤣

I thought OP had already refused.. and was posting to clarify that she wasn't being unreasonable.. or have I misunderstood her posts ?

I feel bad for saying that I will not collect her child.

She did say No... in her opening post..

christ I thought I'd imagining it 🤣

I would text her and tell her you cannot do anymore lifts. It would be a massive favour even if it was on your way but to go out of your way is too much and there’ll be 7 years of this if you’re not careful. She should have chosen a school in her catchment area if she had no transport.

@QueenBee52

I feel bad for saying that I will not collect her child.

She did say No... in her opening post..

christ I thought I'd imagining it 🤣

Mmm.... I read that as 'I feel too guilty to do it" as the rest of her post certainly didn't suggest it had already been nipped in the bud. But I could be wrong.

She's still on the school run

😂🤣😂