Am I bathing my kids enough?

[StrangeToSee]

DD (7) and DS (5) both really dislike baths and showers. No idea why, DS even wears goggles in the shower!

Currently I force them to have a bath twice a week (with soap, hair wash and hosed down with the shower) is that enough?

They both have a clean set of school uniform each day and get their faces washed, bottoms wiped and teeth brushed twice a day.

To me they don’t smell but as their mum maybe I don’t notice?

At weekends and holidays both refuse to get dressed unless we’re going out or have visitors. So I’ve ensured they have plain pjs that pass as loungewear. A quick face wash and teeth brush is all they’ll tolerate. Soon as we get home or guests leave they change back into PJs?!

If we have visitors or are going out I make them have an extra bath that morning (kicking and screaming and soaking the floor!)

WWYD?

Well I bath my child Daily .At this age they should be taking a bath daily after school .Thats what I think .

The bathing is certainly enough at that age.

@DontStepOnTheMomeRathz

Well lucky you. Honest to God it is world war 3 when a shower is suggested in here. They will do it (eventually) (as above, they have their hair washed twice a week and will have a quick shower if it’s necessary in between) but actually fuck going through that every single day for no reason.

Do you not find drying their hair etc takes ages?? My girls have very thick hair and it can take me a good 45 mins to get them both completely dry.

I don’t wash their hair every night. One has long thick hair, one has a bob. Never had any problems getting it dry on nights it’s washed. It’s not an issue for us. Maybe we’d do it less often if it was, but it’s 5 mins out of our day.

ds started getting pongy (pits and feet) and needed deodorant and daily showers when he was around 9ish. Getting the good habits and routines in place helps later. Make sure they understand good personal hygiene keeps you healthy. If they don't want to have a bath/shower it is a daily strip wash instead including face, neck, ears, pits, feet, arse etc. ds soon learned a shower was more comfortable and quicker than standing at a bathroom sink.

Have you tried lowering the showerhead on rail to its lowest position, it is not as bad when it isn't on their head, also put on a gentle setting and point the water spray away from them. To start with they can stand on the shower tray, get their body wet bit by bit, step away from water and wash with a soapy sponge then put bits of body back in to rinse. Hair doesn't need done every day unit they start sweating more. They can wash face with a wet flannel (no soap) in the shower until they get used to water on their faces. Bribing and praise works wonders. Or maybe make it a game and time a strip wash vs a quick shower and let them choose.

Just don't let them refuse to get out of PJs at the weekend. You are the parent be firm. No toys, gadgets, tv etc until up, washed and dressed for the day and bed made.

Do you and your oh model the behaviour you want to see - always say "I loved that shower, feel great now", "doesn't my bed look lovely when it is made, lets do yours now". Never say, even as a joke "I can't be bothered going up for a shower" etc.

I would think it's on the low side of normal. However I would worry about what happens when they reach the soap dodging years if they are brought up thinking twice a week is fine. Easier to maintain "every other day" and then move to "once a day" as necessary than to build up at the time of peak resistance.

I bathe mine daily (but realise this isn't necessary) but I only wash hair once a week probably because they HATE it. Their hair isn't too grubby at this stage in life. Could this be a compromise??

Agree with picking your battles. There are worse things than wearing pjs at the weekend.

My parents certainly gave my siblings and I choice when growing up but some things were non-negotiable such as bathing, teeth brushing and general cleanliness.

I will say though I don’t like the idea of them staying in pjs all day at the weekend. We are always busy at the weekend anyway but even if we weren’t I’d still insist on them getting dressed. I think it’s about not teaching them bad habits.

I do sympathise with the refusal though. My 4 year old is a pain in the arse for getting dressed. Every single day a battle (not sensory - just a lazy wee toe rag who wants to be left alone to play).

I'm sorry but it's definitely a bit gross. Do they not run round getting sweaty at school? My kids always come out of school/nursery looking pretty grubby or hot and bothered. Plus there's the washing behind the foreskin for the boys which needs done daily.

Mine are bathed or showered daily. Strip washes are an alternative but I find they take much more time and effort than a 5 minute wash in the shower.

I wonder how often their sheets are changed if they're not clean when they're getting into bed of an evening. Do they have clean Pjs every night?

Awww I'm smiling at the goggles, because one of mine was the same, he even one time tried to bring a snorkel in with him.

Out of my 5, and they're all different, the one thing they all hated was the shower, they were all afraid of it. So I knocked that on the head.

For the bath, my goggle wearer, a tip a swimming instructor showed me was to fill a plastic cup, pour small amounts on their hand, then their arm, then their shoulder, then the side of the face avoiding eyes. Do it slowly, tell them what you are about to do, it takes a good few times to build up the trust. Then for washing hair, I would wet a face cloth, wring out slightly, rub over hair, small amount of shampoo, Johnson and Johnson no tears was best wash hair gently, then fill cup but only pour down back of hair, then slowly do each side, you will have built up trust pouring on sides of face, if they're still nervous with the sides, what I did was soak face cloth, wring out and rub out shampoo on top of head and sides, it takes a few times but they will be calm. I gave a dry face cloth or small hand towel for them to hold against eyes and had a dry towel beside me to keep wiping their face dry. It can be a little longer to do bath but so worth it. I made sure they had plenty of bath toys, things that strick to the sides, bubble machines you name it, or even just a few empty bottles or cups they will enjoy too.

It's fairly common and I wouldn't worry about it, they'll change every year, they'll start enjoying baths around 10,then they won't wash through pre teens and then they'll hit 17/18 and you'll never get in the bathroom as they'll be on their 5th shower of the day lol

As for lounge wear, mine always wore either tracksuits or casual lounge wear. They never sat fully dressed in jeans or dresses socks and shoes and jumpers etc, sure I do it myself, I don't like pj's as they make me feel like I'm ill, so wear leggings and t-shirt when hanging around. You could bring them to penny's /primark and pick up some casual bits that don't look like they're in pj's, they're at a good age to start this. It's not too late. I just got mine into the habit when very young that they had to be out of pj's before coming downstairs.

With regards to the amount of baths, that's fine. If you think back to your own childhood and I'm not sure your age but kids didn't have nightly baths. The handbasin was filled and we washed from head to toe, I'm an expert still at lifting my feet up into a handbasin lol

You're doing great, do what works for you and just put plenty of towels covering the bathroom floor for bath time, forget the shower and leave that till they're older.

Plus there's the washing behind the foreskin for the boys which needs done daily.

Unnecessary tbh.

Not the washing - I don’t have boys so 🤷🏻‍♀️ The comment I mean.

I think twice a week is fine, daily showers are needed once they hit puberty and their sweat starts smelling.

You have weekends when you don’t go out?!

try tepid water in a bath (elbow warm) and no shower. they may have sensory issues. keep water off their faces and wash their face when they are out with a flannel or soft cotton material and face wash.

Young children do not need to bathe daily. I would be starting to work towards a daily clean for the seven year old. (bits, pits, hand face)

@VladmirsPoutine

My parents certainly gave my siblings and I choice when growing up but some things were non-negotiable such as bathing, teeth brushing and general cleanliness.

I also think that sometimes it's easier to make something like bathing a daily routine, rather than negotiating frequency.

If possible sensory issues, OP, have you tried putting a large plastic box in the shower or bath, filling it up and letting them sit in it and pour water over themselves with a jug? Some kids really hate both the sensation of a shower and the size of a bath. Sitting in a more contained space and being in control of when water is poured over them can be helpful.

How is it sensory issues if they're happy once they're in the bath?

I do exactly the same op. And mine loves baths and showers. Just don’t think it’s necessary.
I don’t even give fresh uniform every day. Always fresh underwear obviously!

I think twice a week for a bath is fine op, as long as they/you are washing the important bits every day.

As a child we only had a bath once a week, as was common then, but washed in between obviously! Don’t think we smelled.

The issue you have is that it’s not okay for your dcs to refuse to do what you tell them!

Do they still make those frill things for hair washing that stop the water running down your face? Might be worth a shot.

How on earth at 5 and 7 have they reached a point of saying “they don’t see the point” in something and you just agreeing to it? You’ll have fun when they’re teens!

They're feeding off of each other.

Also don't let them dictate to you what they are doing. They see you as a soft touch.

I usually bathe my DS everyday but if we're joke late I'll give him a wash down all over at the bathroom sink.

Home not joke

@EmbarrassingMama

You have weekends when you don’t go out?!

I thought this too. I can cope with the odd pyjama day although I insist they change their underwear but surely not pjs all weekend every weekend. Sorry but I think these are slobby habits. They should be getting into a good routine then it becomes second nature. Getting dressed and being clean are absolute basics

My 12yr DS still only has a bath twice a week and wears clean pants and socks daily but otherwise, the same uniform all week to school, unless it’s obviously dirty.

I think some people are far too paranoid about personal hygiene and happy to waste water.