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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I bathing my kids enough?

183 replies

StrangeToSee · 13/09/2021 11:26

DD (7) and DS (5) both really dislike baths and showers. No idea why, DS even wears goggles in the shower!

Currently I force them to have a bath twice a week (with soap, hair wash and hosed down with the shower) is that enough?

They both have a clean set of school uniform each day and get their faces washed, bottoms wiped and teeth brushed twice a day.

To me they don’t smell but as their mum maybe I don’t notice?

At weekends and holidays both refuse to get dressed unless we’re going out or have visitors. So I’ve ensured they have plain pjs that pass as loungewear. A quick face wash and teeth brush is all they’ll tolerate. Soon as we get home or guests leave they change back into PJs?!

If we have visitors or are going out I make them have an extra bath that morning (kicking and screaming and soaking the floor!)

WWYD?

OP posts:
milkytwilight · 13/09/2021 12:35

My 9 year old has a shower or bath every other day. Showers if she has to wash her hair (twice a week ish), baths any other time. In the summer she was showering nearly every day when it was warm, just starting the early stages of puberty so she was a bit whiffy at the end of the day in the heat with PE.

dottiedodah · 13/09/2021 12:36

Unless they are somewhere on the spectrum ,I think a daily or every other day should be introduced really.If not keen on the Shower then maybe a bath with rinsing with a jug or something? I dont like Showers even now and much prefer a bath.Small children may be overwhelmed with rushing water and the noise all at once!

Wexone · 13/09/2021 12:38

Sorry also meant to say on the pyjama thing i personally dont get this. Our work did a huge project at beggining of Covid to help us work from home better, importance of routine, exercise, meantal health etc and one of the things they stressed was nit to wear your pyjamas all day every day. Getting dressed every day gives the signal to your brain every day that your day is starting and makes you feel more energized. It doesn't have to be fancy clothes, tracksuits, leggings hoodies whatever is comfortable for them to wear. Plus they are dressed then in case you do have to go out, like you might have to go out in a hurry or something or they want to play outside, This you can enforce

DontStepOnTheMomeRathz · 13/09/2021 12:38

I bath/shower mine (7 and 4) twice a week. If they get particularly dirty at school/nursery then I’ll do a wash in the shower but their hair is done twice per week. It’s an absolute time consuming faff to dry their hair to be honest. If I felt it needed done more often then I would of course do so but at the moment that’s the minimum we can get away with.

JazzerMcCreary · 13/09/2021 12:40

My 3yo is bathed about twice per week unless he’s particularly grubby. Hair wash for 3yo year old usually only once (long, curly hair) although he does have to let me comb/style it daily otherwise he knows we’ll be going for a haircut.

Baby is bathed a bit more frequently as she seems to think food should be ingested topically.

dottiedodah · 13/09/2021 12:40

Yes would do hair was once or twice per week .Just a nice splash around in between

SpeakingFranglais · 13/09/2021 12:41

Sunday night only when we were kids.

UniBallEye · 13/09/2021 12:41

@Planty13 I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree so. No, I did not 'know' how often my dc's pals were being washed but I do know that it wasn't often enough judging by the smell in the bedroom when they'd been in there a few hours playing.

I didn't take the gamble that my dc would be the type that didn't smell so I erred on the side of caution and washed them daily

Dh and I shower every day and so it was a natural extension for us to bathe our babies / children daily too.

sHREDDIES19 · 13/09/2021 12:44

This just isn't an issue so please don't worry. When mine were little bath time was just part of their bedtime routine but as they've gotten older it's really not necessary at their age (primary school) to bath each day. Clean teeth, hands, face and clothes yes, but we're just not fixated on daily showers/baths as pre puberty there is no real need. This will change as they get older but twice a week seems absolutely fine.

DontStepOnTheMomeRathz · 13/09/2021 12:45

How in the blue fuck do some of you have time to bath them every single day?? Even without hair washing it’s so time consuming (they also never, ever go straight to the bath - need cajoling etc).

It’s not just the bath itself. Don’t you have jobs? Or housework? Mine get home at nearly 6pm because we are both working till after 5. My eldest has clubs, brownies. Homework. I just can’t fit in a bath/shower every single day without keeping them up too late.

eddiemairswife · 13/09/2021 12:47

I remember my mother sitting me on the draining-board to wash me when I was small. I always had tar on my knees in the Summer. Grew up with one bath a week.

Kales29 · 13/09/2021 12:48

Mine are 10&6 and are bathed daily. Not sure all children need to bathed daily but they are both autistic and get really grubby at school and DS is hitting his pre teen years. He doesn't sweat much yet but nothing his hair smelling funky between washes. Plus it's part of their routine and it settles them before bed. They love to chill in the bath though.

If it works for you, they are clean and presentable, I wouldn't worry.

If mine were only bathed twiced a week you would notice, particularly with ds, he usually comes home with thick dirt in his nails every day! Dd doesn't get quite as dirty but her hair often gets sweaty. They both have thick lips of hair. It doesn't get washed daily (usually every other day) but I wet it down between washes!

In the summer it's more important to bathe or shower more often I think. With the hot weather and also sun cream etc.

FfrothiCoffi · 13/09/2021 12:49

@DontStepOnTheMomeRathz

How in the blue fuck do some of you have time to bath them every single day?? Even without hair washing it’s so time consuming (they also never, ever go straight to the bath - need cajoling etc).

It’s not just the bath itself. Don’t you have jobs? Or housework? Mine get home at nearly 6pm because we are both working till after 5. My eldest has clubs, brownies. Homework. I just can’t fit in a bath/shower every single day without keeping them up too late.

Mine have a shower every night. Takes 5 mins and they don’t need any cajoling, so I guess that’s why we have time? Yes we work and yes they have clubs, but it does literally take us 5 mins before putting their pyjamas on.
Kanaloa · 13/09/2021 12:50

@DontStepOnTheMomeRathz

How in the blue fuck do some of you have time to bath them every single day?? Even without hair washing it’s so time consuming (they also never, ever go straight to the bath - need cajoling etc).

It’s not just the bath itself. Don’t you have jobs? Or housework? Mine get home at nearly 6pm because we are both working till after 5. My eldest has clubs, brownies. Homework. I just can’t fit in a bath/shower every single day without keeping them up too late.

Well I don’t need to cajole mine, they go straight to the bath and do it independently now. I help dd5 with hair and getting dried. That’s it really. I make time for it same as I make time to shower myself.
Kanaloa · 13/09/2021 12:50

And yes we have jobs and housework Hmm

RantyAunty · 13/09/2021 12:53

You mentioned the hair washing.
Are they getting water or shampoo on their faces?

To this day I can't stand water running down my face from behind and at the salon some hairdressers rub my scalp and move my head around way too hard.

You could try the jug and let them hold a towel to their faces?

Is your shower pressure high and the water comes out too hard?

A handheld shower head if you don't already have one turned down might make it more enjoyable for them?

But yeah they really should shower daily even if it is a quick rinse just to build the habit.

DontStepOnTheMomeRathz · 13/09/2021 12:54

Well lucky you. Honest to God it is world war 3 when a shower is suggested in here. They will do it (eventually) (as above, they have their hair washed twice a week and will have a quick shower if it’s necessary in between) but actually fuck going through that every single day for no reason.

Do you not find drying their hair etc takes ages?? My girls have very thick hair and it can take me a good 45 mins to get them both completely dry.

furbabymama87 · 13/09/2021 12:55

@DontStepOnTheMomeRathz

How in the blue fuck do some of you have time to bath them every single day?? Even without hair washing it’s so time consuming (they also never, ever go straight to the bath - need cajoling etc).

It’s not just the bath itself. Don’t you have jobs? Or housework? Mine get home at nearly 6pm because we are both working till after 5. My eldest has clubs, brownies. Homework. I just can’t fit in a bath/shower every single day without keeping them up too late.

It's really not hard. At all.
MrsMiddleMother · 13/09/2021 12:55

Bathing twice a week is fine

discombobulatedonion · 13/09/2021 12:56

My son is 3 and only gets a bath once a week. He suffers from dry skin like me, and anything more than that would make his skin really dry and itchy. He genuinely doesn’t smell, because no one has ever commented on it (even those who are blunt enough to do so).

He’s in nursery 3 days a week and obviously if he came back caked in dirt then yes I’d bathe him again but as a general rule, only once a week is fine for him. He doesn’t show any discomfort - in fact he showed more discomfort when getting bathed every 2 days.

ElephantOfRisk · 13/09/2021 12:59

Up until late primary, mine used to bath/shower mostly every 2nd day with a top and tail inbetween days. However, that depended on what activities they were doing what days. If they were doing a sweaty sport then I'd try to schedule that night as a bath or shower or if they were going swimming then I made sure they showered afterwards at swimming, so, on that basis they might miss a couple of nights shower if they were going swimming the next day.

A wash if they weren't having a shower/bath would be, sink filled with soapy water, wash hands, face and neck. Then, use a baby wipe as a washcloth to do pits and then wash privates and bottom and then bin wipe.

A young child doesn't need a bath or shower daily as long as they are kept clean. If their hair doesn't need done or if it's short, you can also do a standing wash in an unfilled bath. Just need a small bucket of warm water, put some soap/bodywash on a clean washcloth and lather it up, wash them from top to bottom but do private area and bottom last then just rinse them down with scoops of water from your small container. Keeps the water contained and takes minutes.

Kanaloa · 13/09/2021 12:59

@DontStepOnTheMomeRathz

Well lucky you. Honest to God it is world war 3 when a shower is suggested in here. They will do it (eventually) (as above, they have their hair washed twice a week and will have a quick shower if it’s necessary in between) but actually fuck going through that every single day for no reason.

Do you not find drying their hair etc takes ages?? My girls have very thick hair and it can take me a good 45 mins to get them both completely dry.

My boys have short-ish hair, dd5 has a bob. DD10 has long hair but she knows she has to wash and dry it and if she complained or made a huge fuss it would be short again.

So we have no issues. They do a lot of activities and showering afterwards is necessary. I don’t really find it going through anything though, it’s just part of the day like breakfast or getting dressed.

Kanaloa · 13/09/2021 13:01

you can also do a standing wash in an unfilled bath. Just need a small bucket of warm water, put some soap/bodywash on a clean washcloth and lather it up, wash them from top to bottom but do private area and bottom last then just rinse them down with scoops of water from your small container. Keeps the water contained and takes minutes.

I mean is this quicker or more convenient than a shower?

Sunshinedrops85 · 13/09/2021 13:01

When I was little we one had one bath a week on the weekends.

gnushoes · 13/09/2021 13:02

It's easily enough. Also kids love PJ days. If it's not an issue for you don't force it - pick your battles.

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