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To leave 3yo in park whilst going to the loo?

737 replies

DoormatBob · 11/09/2021 21:55

Not sure if this is an AIBU or more WWYD but was at a rural touristy attraction. When we arrived both DD (3, nearly 4) and me needed the loo. DD went then refused to wait for me and ran out to the play area (toilets were within the play area but not staffed/ticketed).

I told her to wait but she said no and was off, told me she was going on the slides as she legged it away! We've been there before so she knows where she's going.

I had to go to the loo and therefore she played in the park for 2 minutes unsupervised.

YES - i should have got her back and made her stay with me.
NO - she is OK for 2 mins, she knows where I am.

What would others do? She is very independent and confident but it's just the safety aspect.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

4890 votes. Final results.

You are being unreasonable
You are NOT being unreasonable
HaveringWavering · 16/09/2021 00:46

I have two adult children. It was a mistake, it won't happen again.

Blimey, I hope your children don’t know you talk about them like that Grin

Funpixie · 18/09/2021 18:05

I’m a single mum and my kid has a kind of his own / I get it. But there is zero chance I’d have been ok in that situation- all the minimising (it was 2 mins and it’s a rural place etc) would bring no comfort if something horrible (snatched) or even bad happened- fell, broke her arm etc. - it’s a tough gig and we’ve all been there but straight home for a disciplined time out to let her know how serious it is. You’re her Mum and it’s your job to keep her safe that’s what you tell her. And you explain not listening has consequences. That’s what I hope you did. Don’t waste time beating yourself up but don’t let it become the norms. It’s clear you are upset which means it doesn’t even feel right for you. Trust your instincts.

The world isn’t filled with baby snatchers but there are a few and other risks we have to mitigate. Trust your instincts xx

I once read a story about a poor boy from Manchester. He was about six and his mum took him to a shopping mall. She stood outside the gents entrance waiting for him. After longer than expected she asked for some man to check who found her son being raped snd gagged. She did everything she thought she could to protect him and it still happened. My son is nine and never goes to the gents without family and I could give a flying monkey about looks from women in the loo or his complaints for independence lol. Don’t worry about others - follow your inner momma bear 🐻 x

Belladonna12 · 18/09/2021 18:21

Perhaps consider wearing incontinence pants if you really can't hold on long enough to reason with her when you're out and about as this can't happen again.

ginexplorer · 18/09/2021 19:05

2 words- Jamie Bulger

esloquehay · 18/09/2021 19:05

Honestly, OP. I'm not sure what else you could have done. I empathise, as I suffer from incontinence and when I have to go, I have to go. Otherwise, I wet myself.
I'd far rather my 3.5 year olds played unattended for a couple of mins than be in some stinky public toilets.

Plumtree391 · 18/09/2021 19:32


2 words- Jamie Bulger


Yes, he was my immediate thought. You can barely take your eyes off them for a moment at that age.
KarmaStar · 18/09/2021 19:47

What the hell has her confidence and independence have to do with you allowing a child to run off unsupervised into an area frequented by sex offenders?

Hcolhcsra · 18/09/2021 19:59

Only just letting my 7 year old use the adjoining cubicle and wait for me by the sinks. 3 is far to young to be on their own for even a second or two when out and about.

Creamsoda77 · 18/09/2021 20:00

Good grief no way

ginexplorer · 18/09/2021 21:57

Sorry I’m reading this again and I’m a very chilled mum. If pull my pants up and run after them. Part of me would bank on the fact they were probably likely to be safe but the other hard wired part wouldn’t leave it to chance. They are 3 FFS!! That still counts as entirely defenceless!!

ginexplorer · 18/09/2021 22:07

Please please please - don’t ever leave a 3 year old to chance . Yes of course most people are actually lovely and the whole world are not paeodophiles or Jamie bulger killers I know that. The chances are he would be fine. But my mother Instincts always would have run out for a 3/4/5 year old. I couldn’t personally take that risk -apppreciate the need but have a grass wee wee instead ??? Or Your 3 year old could come in loo ? Mine used t accompany me ?

WalkingOnTheCracks · 19/09/2021 17:50


No fucking way.

Fucking seconded.
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