To leave 3yo in park whilst going to the loo?

[DoormatBob]

Not sure if this is an AIBU or more WWYD but was at a rural touristy attraction. When we arrived both DD (3, nearly 4) and me needed the loo. DD went then refused to wait for me and ran out to the play area (toilets were within the play area but not staffed/ticketed).

I told her to wait but she said no and was off, told me she was going on the slides as she legged it away! We've been there before so she knows where she's going.

I had to go to the loo and therefore she played in the park for 2 minutes unsupervised.

AIBU
YES - i should have got her back and made her stay with me.
NO - she is OK for 2 mins, she knows where I am.

What would others do? She is very independent and confident but it's just the safety aspect.

What did get mum say when you told her? That should be your judge/guide.
If my DH told me this had happened, he would have had a serious talking to.

My anxiety could never😳
You do realise some freak could have grabbed her within seconds and given that you’d only just got there no one would have noticed that she wasn’t leaving with the people she came with...WTAF op! I’m really not one to judge other parents we all just ride the crazy train together but you seriously dropped the ball here.

Stop beating yourself up and come up with a plan for next time. How are you going to manage the toilets when you’re out with her? How are you going to respond if she doesn’t do what you’ve asked / runs off / does something unsafe / ignores you? Etc etc.

Nothing bad happened to her, she’s fine and you have the chance to do better next time. My kids are all teenagers and I’ve had many, many shit-parenting-moments. I tried to learn from them. The kids look to be ok ...

No and I was pretty relaxed. She needs to learn to do what she's told for her safety. It's the same principle as running into the road. Not safe. I hope you made it clear to her she must do what she's told.

She may be ‘independent and confident’ OP. But she’s THREE!!
It shocks me that you even need to ask.

Wtf! Can't believe you did this....she's 3 yo! It takes a split second for something to happen. Totally irresponsible. The person who said you need to learn to parent properly was absolutely right. Smh!!!

It only takes a second for a child to be kidnapped. No way would I leave a child that young for any amount of time in public. You should have taken your child with you to the toilet. Mine don’t get the choice. Ask yourself op if something happened would you have felt you did everything you could to keep your child safe? I go by that moto and if I answer no than it shouldn’t happen.

Oh, toilet cubicles. Give her the Very Important Job of holding something Very Important that mustn’t touch the yucky floor, something that takes both hands - a water bottle? A bag? You can’t undo a lock or touch any disgusting surfaces when your hands are full because you are being Very Helpful.

Look, you obviously realise this was not right and you obviously feel unhappy about it. I really don't think you need anymore home truths from anyone else.

I think you need to:
*Consider how you are going to ensure that this never happens again
*Ensure that you are clear about your strategies to ensure that your child understands and responds to clear boundaries about what happens when you are out together ...including that she NEVER runs off on her own

I wonder if there are suggestions on strategies to achieve this that others can suggest which might be more useful than you hearing over and over again that you messed up, which you already know.

No way

I think some people are getting confused... the OP only had one child with her not two...

Ask the parents whose kids have disappeared. Surprised this question is even being asked tbh. If only.......

She was in the cubicle with me but she went first then opened the door and went out, I followed but had to go back, I can't really hold to be honest.

Right, so you stop her.

You can't hold it?! Fine! As a male, you are in a better position that us females, in that you would more likely be stood up to pee, so holding the door shut at the same time is easier...

As a 37 year old male
You mean as her DAD. Get over that shit, and quickly, in order to effectively parent.

If you can't do it at 3, you have no chance at 13!

Can’t believe this thread is still going.

Leaving a 3 year old unsupervised in a playground is irresponsible.

Nothing more needs to be said.

Absolutely no way would I have done that. I lost sight of my 4 year old in a busy park after becoming distracted by my water leaking in my bag for about a minute. I will never forget the panic I felt.

I don’t believe this post is real. Surely not

As others have said you were completely irresponsible not having her in the cubicle with you!!

I think its up to you. You know your own child and the park and the likelihood of her escaping

No always locked mine in with me and panicked as they fiddled with lock trying to open door whilst I am weeing whilst shouting don’t touch anything !

OP, it's time to stop. You made a mistake you won't repeat. You've taken the admonishment, you showed gumption posting in the first place, aware of the kind of criticism you would get. Move on, forgive yourself, lesson learnt.

I wouldn’t even let my 7 and 4 year old be unattended because A I am the adult and I decide what is safe for my children and B they are children and can disappear in an instant.
Very irresponsible OP.

No way ,I would have run straight after her even if meant peeing myself,seriously terrifying to think what might have happened.

NOOOOOO no No

Should have gone in cubicle with you .Child being disobedient .Yes fine encouraging independence but if anything had happened you would have to live with it