Arachnophobics - I want to understand. DSis is leaving holiday.

[Dollywilde]

Ok first off I hate spiders. I really do. Once got a randomer off my local FB to remove one.

But we are on holiday. First family holiday since baby was born. My sister has left after one night because she can’t cope with the spiders.

I paid for and organised it. They’re not huge (nothing bigger than a 5p piece). She’s severely arachnaphobic, I get that. But I’m cross, we have activities planned and she wanted to come and I can’t believe she’s letting this ruin the holiday.

It’s her thing, she’s going, I get it doesn’t affect me aside from the fact we all wanted a lovely holiday together. And I know it’s a real phobia.

Basically, can people shake some sense into me to stop me being cross? I don’t want to be cross with her. But walking out half way through a holiday I paid for is making me sad. We were having such a lovely time and this has basically made the entire break a waste of time and ££££.

I’m an arachnophobe and it wouldn’t have crossed my mind that there would be spiders inside at CP. Now I know, I will never be going there!

@IndigoC

Spiders are c*nts. They don’t deserve the constant attempts to rehabilitate their image. I was bitten by a red back in Australia 20 years ago, causing severe short-term illness and long term neurological problems. I recently stayed at a NT cottage that was absolutely loaded with spiders. I tried not to worry. I woke up one morning to discover a bite on my neck and a massive squished spider directly under my pillow. I’m with your sister. 😂

And you thought posting this on a thread of arachnophobes would be a good idea why?

@SpidersAreShitheads I may or may not have one time stripped off whilst running into the house from the garden in my defence, one had landed on my shoulder while I was bringing in the washing and I needed to throw myself straight into the shower and scrub myself.

Off to google plain white sheets no copyright infringement intended

Those posting about Indorex, does it have to be actual Indorex? I’ve got cans of Wilko flea killer, would that work too or is it a specific ingredient needed?

I think it’s hard to explain any phobia. I have known two people who have a phobia of buttons and one with a phobia of cats but spider phobia is so very common, why is it spiders? and can phobias be caught as such? My mother was not scared of spiders and would just pick them up in her hands. She had endured bird eating spiders when she lived in Africa and she told me the tale of how she had chopped one up with a shovel that got in the house once. For people with fear what was the reaction to them in the homes you grew up in?

My next door neighbour was like this and when her DH was working away which was frequent and she had a spider I would go round and catch it. She never wanted the cup back I caught them in as they had been in it.

@Dollywilde

Sorry - I’ve probably underestimated it based on the above. I’d say there’s been maybe 3 5p sized spiders, 2/3 daddy long legs types and then 8-10 little ones since we arrived yesterday. Trying to be objective! We are in a lodge.

I wouldn't want to stay either but would probably stick it put for the sake of the kids but if she's left her phobia is likely worse than mine. Neither of you is being unreasonable, you have a right to feel annoyed and I understand her reasons for leaving.

Your sister can’t help her phobia (well, she could seek CBT), but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t inconvenienced and upset.

*21:33Porcupineintherough

Phobias are real but I wonder how many times she's left a holiday that she's paid for.*

Exactly this

I'm not a fan of spiders, they send a shiver up my spine (the thick ones) but teen DD is arachnophobic. She's able to control herself depending on the spider size, we had a teeny tiny one in the bathroom about a month ago and she asked if we could get rid of it at some point (forgot about it and it was in there for a few days before she reminded us again and DH got rid of it).

Then we have the bad reactions like two nights ago when a spider just appeared on her curtains, she screamed came running down hyperventilating and demanded we kill it there and then (it was a massive thick house spider, about the size of the top of a can). Even after I flushed the spider down the loo she refused to go back in her room and slept on the sofa that night. Sorry to any spider lovers but the thick ones and false widows are killed in this house, only the smaller/thinner ones are caught in our spider catcher and released outside. We do try to stop them from coming in at all, we have nets secured tightly on open windows(velcro tape and fine netting) and those spider repellent plugins (DD forgot to plug her bedroom one back in after using the socket the other day) but we still get the odd one now and again.

Spider catcher and spider repellant for those who are interested. The repellant is brilliant, we used to have lots of spiders in the house. A few weeks after having them installed we noticed we hadn't seen any, we occasionally get them in the rooms we don't have the repellants (bathrooms) but even that has reduced significantly from having at least 1 a week sometimes more to finding one maybe every few months.

OP I don't think it's unreasonable for your sister to leave, annoying yes but if she's that afraid then it's a natural reaction to flee. If that's her normal reaction to spiders then it was to be expected and maybe someone should have gone in to check/remove any.

@PuppyMonkey

Those posting about Indorex, does it have to be actual Indorex? I’ve got cans of Wilko flea killer, would that work too or is it a specific ingredient needed?

I’ve only used the indorex so I’m genuinely not sure I’m afraid! You could google the ingredients of the indorex and the brand you have to compare maybe?

A phobia is different from just 'hating' spiders. I'd have left too with the number of spiders you've said was in the lodge, size is irrelevant for me. I've had therapy, done the arachnophobia course at my local zoo, I've even tried hypnosis. None of it worked. DH has filled in every single hole he could find in our house and we have repellents all over the place. We get the odd one in and either DH or my lovely neighbours deal with them for me!
I suppose you could always ask your sister for some money to recoup the loss of her leaving if that matters to you, I'd definitely offer you money if it were me that had left. I hope you manage to enjoy the rest of your break without her!

I hate spiders but I wouldn't let small ones ruin my holiday - if the place was infested with monster ones I'd be off.
trouble is it's a bad time of year for anyone to be on holiday somewhere like that because it's spider season, avoid Sept/Oct in future.
i used to live abroad and I'd wake up with a giant huntsman on the ceiling above my head or on the wall somewhere - I don't think I ever recovered from the trauma.

You need a nuclear bomb to kill those buggers.

@XelaM not dogs no, mine is birds, which means I basically can't go anywhere without being afraid. It's a horrible phobia, thankfully under control following exposures. Spent many a holiday in a bird infested terrace, weeping on the inside so as not to ruin it for everyone else.

@BelieveInRainbows really sorry to hear that treatments haven't worked for you, that really sucks.

@godmum56 People are permitted to have a different opinion to you, you know?!

@Pedalpushers Thanks. I am literally willing to try anything to make it even marginally better, just haven't found that one thing that works for me yet. I live in hope though!

@EmbarrassingAdmissions I've never had so many spiders drop onto the beds as this year. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Well done, you've just freaked out thousands of people 👍🏻

[quote Lachimolala]@BuckarooWithBruceGrobelaar I am an extreme arachnophobe like PP I faint, vomit, cry and have pretty severe panic attacks at the sight of any spider. If there’s one in the house that’s it I’m a mess until it’s gone. I’ve been known to leave the house in the middle of the night and sleep in the car, I’ve called people out of bed at 4am and all sorts. I really hate this time of year because I spend it all jumpy and anxious, the indorex is the only thing that helps. It has a cult following online for being an almost instant spider killer!

I buy two cans, one to spray the whole house and a spare for targeted attacks/peace of mind. I do still find this month hard but so far the only ones I’ve found are dead and I sprayed the house on the 1st sept this year.[/quote]
Ant powder kills spiders instantly as well!

@PuppyMonkey

Those posting about Indorex, does it have to be actual Indorex? I’ve got cans of Wilko flea killer, would that work too or is it a specific ingredient needed?

Ant powder kills spiders instantly!!

@Dollywilde

Sorry - I’ve probably underestimated it based on the above. I’d say there’s been maybe 3 5p sized spiders, 2/3 daddy long legs types and then 8-10 little ones since we arrived yesterday. Trying to be objective! We are in a lodge.

That’s a lot of spiders. I would leave too. Potentially 16 spiders in 24 hours!!!! I’m severely arachnophobic also, a spider was in the house the other day and I was vomiting for ten minutes afterwards. My cat ate it and it was fine but hours later I could feel it crawling on my skin it was horrible. I wouldn’t be able to sleep in that lodge at all.

Surely “person with actual phobia needing to leave” is easier to understand than “person without phobia pathetically turning to random fb person to deal with one”?

I'd struggle hugely to stay in a room with several spiders. Dd wouldn't manage it at all. We'd get no sleep and would be anxious and edge co stably if they were there all the time.

I find it hard enough at home and spray the house with spider x spray regularly esp at this time of year.

I'm surprised there are so many inside the lodges at CP. we've never had that when we have been.

Could someone not remove them all and spray?

Tbh if there are so many there inside all the time I'm not really surprised she can't stay.