Kids party etiquette AIBU and best party tips

[StrangeToSee]

So DS will have his first (age 6) party at our home soon. I’ve only done soft-play parties before. Terrified!

How do you stop 10 little boys trashing your house? How do you calm them down?

On invitations I said parents welcome to stay (mentioned Prosecco and food) or drop off. How many do you think will stay? Hoping lots stay! It’s only 2 hours.

Pass the parcel: is it ok to look to ensure all get a turn and your kid doesn’t get the prize or is it meant to be random?

Is it ok for your kid to win any games? Eg musical statues or should you pull them out?

What’s the etiquette with gifts, do you put them out of reach so birthday boy doesn’t open them in front of friends?

Is ok to make everyone take shoes off (I offer disposable pop socks for anyone worried about bare feet)?

How do you deal if kids act up? Have you ever sent a kid home for bad behaviour?

I’ve planned games but also free play (garden if warm) but do I let them charge upstairs too?

Everyone gets a small prize in pass the parcel, anyone but bday child wins big one. I had a rule of no one goes upstairs at parties which was always fine (we have downstairs toilet) If you can do food outside I would, less mess. Never had to deal with any really bad behavior so can't advise on that sorry. Hope your DC enjoys their party 🎉

Can’t advise on how to stop them trashing your house but it’s critical everyone gets a prize in pass the parcel, it’s a nightmare otherwise! Give them a sticker once they’ve got a prize out of it then it’s easier to tell.

IMO birthday kid shouldn’t win the games but I don’t think that’s a universal thing. And here we always put presents to one side to open after as seems less drama that way…

Only have girls so can’t help on the boy question sorry.

My basic party structure for an at home party is free play etc while everyone arrives. Then games. I do pass the parcel last and yes I look to choose the winner and choose someone who hasn’t won an earlier game. Once games are over free play. Then half an hour to eat and do the cake.

Fine to ask people to take shoes off.

Everyone seems to do different things with presents. I tend to let them open them as they are handed over at the beginning so my DC can say thank you. Just make sure you have a discussion first about manners - saying thank you, never saying you don’t like it or already have one.

I generally ignore bad behaviour other than making sure said child does not win pass the parcel!
I don’t let my kids win and I tell them that in advance so they know.
I would not let them upstairs.

Good luck! It’s knackering but the kids love it
If you have a big freezer consider doing an ice cream cake - you can make your own by buying ice cream, lining a cake tin with cling wrap, layering in the ice cream then tipping out and decorating with smarties. Then serve straight into cones. It takes a while to eat so bonus!!

No going upstairs unless that’s where your only toilet is. Close all doors upstairs.

Hide all valuable stuff or favourite toys.

Keep them outside as much as possible.

Birthday boy doesn’t get the big prizes.

Gifts should be put away and opened after the party.

If anyone has poor behaviour towards others you could say “that wasn’t kind, was it?” with a stern look. You’re not directly telling them off which could get a parent’s back up, but are alerting them to their undesirable behaviour. Or “we don’t do that in this house” etc.

I found hiring a bouncy castle (ours was very small as don't have a very big garden so only £60 for the weekend) helped as it meant they burned off a lot of energy and had something to do while we put food out or arranged the next game.

Prizes - up to you and depends how many prizes you are going for? You could have it so that everyone wins one. If that would be too many then personally i would try and let other kids win as your own DC get plenty other gifts on the day.

I would just try to have as many games/activities as possible to do to keep them busy and help the time pass quicker. A pinata can be a good activity. Outdoor play - obstacle course with garden toys? I would avoid upstairs and maybe have some back up games if they are getting restless. Asda have packs of party things designing masks, glasses, hats etc, pin the tail on the doneky all very cheap. Make it a competition.

Behaviour wise - it's a party and meant to be fun so try to redirect Behaviour that you don't like. It would have to be pretty bad to send a child home from a 2 hour party i think.

Gifts - i think either is fine but would probably prefer they aren't opened at the time so i cam know who got what to thank them and to avoid new things being ripped into.

Good luck OP hope your dc has a lovely party

Birthday child doesn't win anything seems to be the rule round here!

Around here, if given the chance to drop off most parents do - so unless a lot are already good friends I would not count on lots staying. Your plans sound good, shoes etc all fine. I do gifts separately after but I dont think either way if wrong- I just find too much else is happening during the party. I would make sure a random child won pass the parcel but party kid can win other games at our parties.

How do you stop 10 little boys trashing your house? How do you calm them down?

Move as much stuff like lamps, TV etc into your room beforehand, and cordon it off. Push the rest of the furniture to the side to create a clear party space.

We found lots and lots of structure helpful. On arrival, decorate your own paper party bags with stickers and glittery bits to take home, to keep people busy while you wait for everyone. Then we had a load of paper stars blu-tacked to the wall in the hall, each with a party activity/game written on - treasure hunt, musical statues, cake decorating, chocolate game, pass the parcel, apple bobbing etc. The key thing is that there were more activities than we could get through in the time.

The kids took it in turns to pick a star and we'd do that activity. DH and I tag teamed - one running the current activity in the sitting room, the other clearing up the previous one in the dining room, dealing with kids needing the loo, and redirecting those trying to invade bits of the house I didn't want them in, or bothering the cats.

I always shooed the parents away at the door - no-one needs to watch me heading up the Cha Cha Slide, and the house is too small for kids and parents. Loads easier to keep the kids in line if you're the only adult, weirdly.

Cake decorating (buy value plain cupcakes from the supermarket, about a quid for 12, make coloured butter icing and get sprinkles) was always the most popular activity, followed by a treasure hunt with simple clues, and then apple bobbing.

Thanks, all fab advice!

I would definitely stay if you were offering Prosecco and food! Not enough people do this!

I always shooed the parents away at the door - no-one needs to watch me heading up the Cha Cha Slide, and the house is too small for kids and parents. Loads easier to keep the kids in line if you're the only adult, weirdly.

We did the same. A parent with a prosseco is unlikely to be closely monitoring little Jonny but it is much harder to tell them off in front of their parents. Recruit a few friends instead.

Treasure hunts/ scavenger hunts can be quite fun and you can set them up ahead of time.

A parent with a prosseco is unlikely to be closely monitoring little Jonny but it is much harder to tell them off in front of their parents

I didn’t think of that 😂 I assumed they’d be better behaved with their parents there. And sort of want it to be a bonding experience for the parents too.

We’ve got a downstairs loo but it’s tiny. I was thinking I should offer the upstairs family bathroom at least to parents (especially as one’s bringing her newborn and might need space for nappy changing etc).

Bit worried my son will want to show his friends his room so they’ll be wondering about up there!

Praying the weather stays warm and dry, treasure hunts and scavenger hunts sound fun!

Love the idea of activity stars!

I’ve put sweets in between pass the parcel layers. Didn’t think of stickers but that’s a good shout!

Should every child who is ‘out’ of a game be offered a sweet?

How many items in party bags? So far each bag has a pencil with eraser top, friendship bracelet, stretchy toy, mini puzzle book, gummy sweets. Is that enough? Do they expect to take home a balloon?

Is ok to cut and serve the cake at the party instead of crushing it into napkins?

It is easier if the parents leave. (For next time).

I genuinely wouldn't invite 10 little boys indoors.
I hat DD'S friends here all the time when they were 6, DS and crew are a different story.
I'd hire a bouncy castle for outdoors, maybe check if a local icecream van will deliver.

Prizes - up to you and depends how many prizes you are going for? You could have it so that everyone wins one.

So far I’ve just got a collection of things kids can choose from if they win a game; small stuff like snap-bands, puzzles, packets of sweets, small plastic toys.
Was planning on: pass the parcel, musical bumps, musical statues, sleeping lions, squeak ketchup squeak, scavenger hunt (outdoors), pass the keys. Too many? Not enough?

Any tips for making an obstacle course? We don’t have many garden toys but have lots of tree branch slices from pruning etc.

I genuinely wouldn't invite 10 little boys indoors

Too late I’ve sent out the invitations 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 Hoping weather will be ok so they can play in the garden 🙏🏻

Been to a few parties where parents had half the class in their home. They seemed calm and in control but have an older son so maybe they’re used to parties 😂

In my experience 6 year old boys will much prefer a bouncy castle over party games, loads easier for you too, no entertaining required and they will mostly be outside too.

Doesn’t have to be a mega expensive, huge one.

I'd stay and try to help - you sound lovely !

@StrangeToSee my two cents would be to NOT let them choose their own prizes unless you’ve wrapped them and it’s a mystery prize every time. Can easily see this becoming grounds for squabbling

Tip I got from here: have a quiet craft activity.
DS had a themed party, so I got a large (A2? large enough for them to sit around) piece of card, stickers, pens, crayons etc and told them to decorate it in line with the theme of the party. DS still has it on his wall a few years later and it kept them occupied and quiet for longer than I hoped!

You set up one room as the party room. The downstairs loo means no kids need to go upstairs. You decorate that room, have music in there and push all the furniture back so there's space. Keep them in there as much as possible.

If you want them to play in the garden, you're going to have to love the shoes to the back door once they've taken them off at the front door and vice versa at the end of the party.

But I think you have to accept that an at-home party can he carnage (in a good way).

You could always offer a a tray of cupcakes at the door on the way out of you don't want the whole soggy cake in a napkin thing. Everyone takes one, be prepared and have spares for siblings!

Short of it actually raining, keep them outside.

Don’t go mad on the games, they mostly want to be running around.

2 hours max.

I have two boys and have done parties for that age and around that number but they were almost always mixed boys and girls. But things I have learned are:
Never let them go upstairs, or play with toys like on a normal play date, you will never get them back again. I was surprised at how many children didn't seem to know what a party was, and thought it was just an opportunity to run riot and get out all the toys. But you say your lot are used to parties so probably OK.
They will get through games and activities way quicker than you would think. Have some in the bag in case you need them :-D
I always found musical statues and bumps impossible to judge, resulting in much debate from the children, but you may be firmer than me!
We used to do: pass the parcel, themed bingo (usually Lego, can print out boards and cards online), decorate-a-biscuit, design-a-superhero (or Lego character etc, you can print templates out online), the chocolate game, pin the X on the Y (depending on theme of party - eg light sabre on Yoda), Wacko (selection of 6 or 7 small sweets on a plate, child leaves room, one sweet is designated Wacko sweet, child eats sweets until gets to Wacko sweet, everyone shouts Wacko, restock plate, next kid's turn.) and Hunt the Whatever (one at a time, shouts of warmer/colder from other kids).

Loads of good ideas here! Other things that have gone down well with my boys have been the donut challenge (eating donuts that are hanging up with string but no hands!) Kept them quiet for quite a while. The floor is lava was a surprise hit as well as relay games (using balloons/ space hoppers etc) and traditional party games. One that I haven't tried but remember from childhood is being given a piece of cut up greeting card and having to search for the other pieces (hidden around house/ garden) to make the picture. Staying outside as much as poss will make things seem more manageable and have more than enough activities up your sleeve, and don't be afraid to move on quickly if something isn't a hit. It'll be great but you'll need gin after