Page 5 | Kids party etiquette AIBU and best party tips

Callmecordelia · 12/09/2021 09:53

@StrangeToSee

Stations
You can either play with names or put words on cards. This can be related to the party theme or station names, you need one for each child.

Put chairs round the edge of the room/garden. One less than the number of children.

One child stands in the middle, the others sit on the chairs. Call out two names/words, these have to swap seats, while the child in the middle races to get into an empty seat while they are swapping. One is left in the middle. Repeat.

Every so often call "All change" and everyone swaps seats.

Younger children are better playing with their real names not ones on cards. And actually the cards are another job to do in an already busy time and not really necessary for older ones either.

Wink murder
Make up small pieces of paper that can be picked out of a hat. The same number as children. On one piece write "Detective" and on another write "Murderer". The child who has the detective paper announces it, the murderer keeps shtum.

Send the detective out of the room. The others stand around until the murderer "murders" someone by winking at them secretly. The murdered child pretends to die theatrically and then everyone shouts "help! There's been a murder! Send for the detective" who then comes back in. The murderer continues to wink (trying not to be seen) and the hammy carnage continues while the detective tries to spot who it is. Repeat.

At six, they might be too young for this one.

Kim's game
Put a selection of small objects on a tray and cover with a tea towel. Give every child paper and a pencil. Uncover the tray for however long you want (this is related to age) and then they have to write down as many items as they can. Sort of like the generation game.

I'm so lucky to have my Mum. She was never the sort of teacher who had to shout, she'd walk into a classroom and they would just stop talking. They have lots of fun, but they just instantly know that she has boundaries and they can't cross them. It's awesome to see. I'd hire her out if I could!

Mumdiva99 · 12/09/2021 09:55

The chocolate game is a good one for taking up time.....Have a hat, scarf, gloves....also have a bar of chocolat or two and a knife and fork....give the boys a dice and if they throw a 6 ( or if this is happening too often add in another dice and they have to throw throw double, or if that is too often a specific double) they put on the items and attempt to eat the chocolate.....split them into two teams....in covid times they may need a plate each and cutlery each.....use a thin animal chocolate bar as the kids are young.

Musical islands....they have to jump on a piece of newspaper when the music stops. Take a sheet away each time.

Do not forget dead lions.....use it to calm them down.

My friend took a register at the start of a party once.....she made it funny and it took some time.

Hide small pictures around the house and garden....the boys have to find them and write on their sheet - use whatever your son is into....marvel, paw patrol etc etc....think how that works if the kids can't write yet......so maybe number each picture.
....or you give them a sheet with lots of pictures and they have to tick the ones they find.......

Do not get paint out for painting stones.....no no no......paint require lots of supervision. -- unless you want to do a craft activity and then do it first all kids together.

Another game....throw something into a bucket. Move it further away each time....last one in is the winner.

Penalty shoot out against your husband....

Theme the party so you are the leaders and kids are the pirates/soldiers/spacemen whatever (use costumes) and have some commands so that whenever you say X they have to do Y.....e.g. for pirates 'scrub the decks' means they all kneel down. Pirates attacking ' they all run outside' hide from the enemy 'they have to crouch down and be really really quiet....'.

Ground rules - no going upstairs. (Your son can invite his best friends for a play date another day.)

Have drinks available before tea....write their names on the cup.

Enjoy it. - kids love a traditional party. Our most popular local party host company only gives a couple of stickers as prizes for a game....I've never heard any child complain.

Original poster

StrangeToSee · 12/09/2021 09:55

I have a hilly slightly wild garden and it's better for the game. Probably better to google for the full rules and how to set up but essentially there are two teams, they each hide the flag/object in their "side", the other players have to try to capture the flag but are put into jail in the enemy side if they're tagged. They can only be released by their team mate tagging them without being tagged themselves

Thanks! That sounds good.

Do you think bulldog is too high risk for injuries?

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applesandpears33 · 12/09/2021 09:56

Recruit lots of friends to help. I always found there were a couple of children who didn't want to join in games and they needed supervision separate from the main party group. It helps if there is also another adult to deal with the food and a spare adult or two to help with anything else. I found regardless of how much space there was kids would still bump into each other and want a wet paper towel to put on the bit that was hurt.

The parties were great fun though and I remember them much more than the soft play/trampoline parties that we also had.

JustLyra · 12/09/2021 09:57

I wouldn’t play bulldogs unless you’re extremely confident of keeping them under control.

Original poster

StrangeToSee · 12/09/2021 09:58

At six, they might be too young for this one

Thanks, those games sound great but I think the boys will get confused by too many rules (I certainly do 😂) I might save those for when they’re a bit older. Most of the boys are still 5, only one has turned 6 so far.

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Callmecordelia · 12/09/2021 10:01

@StrangeToSee I would not play bulldogs.

@Mumdiva99 I've never met anyone else who does the chocolate with knives, forks, hat, scarf and gloves before! We did it at my parties growing up, and with pre covid ones, but I thought people might not want the shared cutlery now.

jillandhersprite · 12/09/2021 10:01

some great tips on this thread...
remember what works for some won't work for everyone - so don't worry about the fact that you've had so many conflicting suggestions and advice.
main one is be really clear - parents and kids actually are better if things are spelled out beforehand rather than 'assumed' because see point above - everyone does things differently...
be really clear before hand with your kid, your other half and if possible rope in the friendliest other parent to help before the party so they can spread the word and keep things on track. kids are brilliant at enforcing rules on their mates 'mum - josh has sneaked upstairs and he's not supposed to, tom has shoved a cake down the back of the sofa'!!!
try to keep food in kitchen or garden and have party room/living room as food/drink free - it won't be adhered to perfectly but its better than a free for all!!!
ask someone else to take photos - you're bound to forget/be frazzled/just to busy!

Original poster

StrangeToSee · 12/09/2021 10:03

Musical islands....they have to jump on a piece of newspaper when the music stops. Take a sheet away each time. Do not forget dead lions.....use it to calm them down.

Ooh I’d forgotten musical islands, thanks!

Recruit lots of friends to help. I always found there were a couple of children who didn't want to join in games and they needed supervision separate from the main party group

Sadly I only have one local mum friend as new to the area (she’s coming but has a newborn so won’t be able to help much).

I’m good friends with a couple who don’t have kids, do you think it would be cheeky if I ask her to come and help? She’s great at controlling kids as used to be a kids dance teacher!

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Callmecordelia · 12/09/2021 10:03

@StrangeToSee stations is pretty simple. Always do some practice runs first so they "see" the rules as well as hear them. Good luck.

My five year old loves duck duck goose.

Original poster

StrangeToSee · 12/09/2021 10:04

I've never met anyone else who does the chocolate with knives, forks, hat, scarf and gloves before! We did it at my parties growing up, and with pre covid ones, but I thought people might not want the shared cutlery now.

We did this game every Halloween!

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liveforsummer · 12/09/2021 10:07

I'd stay on the offer of Prosecco and help you out but if need a heads up about the shoes. I have raynauds and bare feet (and with thin socks they might as well be bare) can be incredibly painful. I'd pop some thermals in my bag

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 12/09/2021 10:13

I'm repeating what PPs have said in some cases but my thoughts with now adult children who had parties / went to parties for more years than I care to remember...

How do you stop 10 little boys trashing your house?
Keep them outside as much as possible; be clear which areas are out of bounds; ask any parents who stay to help with that (no such thing as free Prosecco!)

How do you calm them down?
Outside games which require energy if possible. Then a calming game such as Sleeping Lions. Have some cartoons with popcorn up your sleeves for if you feel they need some down time.

On invitations I said parents welcome to stay (mentioned Prosecco and food) or drop off. How many do you think will stay? Hoping lots stay! It’s only 2 hours.
Can't possibly answer that but i would have stayed for Prosecco and food! If you know any of them particularly well, you could enthusiastically encourage them to stay.

Pass the parcel: is it ok to look to ensure all get a turn and your kid doesn’t get the prize or is it meant to be random?
You have to make it look like it's random but you definitely have to make sure each has a gift. Or instead of a gift / as well as you can add a forfeit - makes the game last longer (sing a song, hop on one leg, make a lion noise etc etc)

Is it ok for your kid to win any games? Eg musical statues or should you pull them out?
Anything where you have a part in who wins, eg pass the parcel or statues, bad form for the birthday child to win. Where it's totally objective - eg speed/skill related then that's fair enough.

What’s the etiquette with gifts, do you put them out of reach so birthday boy doesn’t open them in front of friends?
I always put them aside to open after the party. Boring for the other guests to sit around watching birthday child open gifts. Avoids embarrassment if the parent can't afford much, or if there are repeats. Allows your child to enjoy opening the gifts more. Enables you to track who gave what for thank you notes.

Is ok to make everyone take shoes off (I offer disposable pop socks for anyone worried about bare feet)?
Yes - but could you let people know ahead so children can bring slippers if they want? (Bare feet wouldn't have bothered my children but 'there's always one'.

How do you deal if kids act up? Have you ever sent a kid home for bad behaviour
I've only experienced it once with a girl who didn't want to do whatever we had organ9sed and totally disrupted the party, stamping and screaming because she didn't get her own way. I persevered, took her in the kitchen for a quiet chat and a calm down but she was a nightmare. ;With hindsight should have phoned her parents to come and get her. (On that note, make sure you have contact numbers for each child if their parents aren't staying - last thing you need is to be looking after a child who isn't well or hurts themselves, etc etc

I’ve planned games but also free play (garden if warm) but do I let them charge upstairs too?
No to upstairs. They are still young and with that number I think you need them in one place to be supervised. Maybe decide what toys you think would be suitable for free play and have them ready to bring down if needed. (Don't have them in the room where you are trying to organise games as they could be distracted)

Callmecordelia · 12/09/2021 10:15

Just thought of another game with no end point - animal musical statues. Music stops and you shout out the animal name and they all have to pretend to be that animal. Best one gets a sweet. Magically, they are all the best one during the course of the game....

Original poster

StrangeToSee · 12/09/2021 10:18

My five year old loves duck duck goose

So does mine, he just explained the rules to me 😂

If a kid gets angry/aggressive is it ok to take them to a quiet room for ‘time out’? Obviously I’d stay with them. We have a little room I could make into a sensory room eg stress balls, cushions, blankets, optical sensory lights etc.

Or do you give them a discreet telling off and let them stay in the main party room?

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Original poster

StrangeToSee · 12/09/2021 10:20

I'd stay on the offer of Prosecco and help you out but if need a heads up about the shoes. I have raynauds and bare feet (and with thin socks they might as well be bare) can be incredibly painful. I'd pop some thermals in my bag

Thanks, I’ll pop a warning on the invitations about shoes off. I’m happy to lend mums clean guest slippers or slipper socks but guess they might not like non-disposable ones.

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Mumdiva99 · 12/09/2021 10:23

@Callmecordelia it was a game always played at brownies, guides, scouts etc growing up....and at birthday parties.

I think it was in the M&S book of birthday parties - the mum's handbook in the late 70's early 80's - along with the M&S book on cake decorating which every birthday cake my mum made me came from - lady bird, flower box, butterfly etc etc

Original poster

StrangeToSee · 12/09/2021 10:24

No to upstairs. They are still young and with that number I think you need them in one place to be supervised. Maybe decide what toys you think would be suitable for free play and have them ready to bring down if needed. (Don't have them in the room where you are trying to organise games as they could be distracted)

Thanks, all fab advice. My son has agreed to no kids upstairs so I’ll either lock the doors upstairs or put ‘PRIVATE’ stickers on them. Apart from the upstairs loo in case mums want to use it or there’s a queue for the downstairs one.

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JustLyra · 12/09/2021 10:25

@StrangeToSee

My five year old loves duck duck goose

So does mine, he just explained the rules to me 😂

If a kid gets angry/aggressive is it ok to take them to a quiet room for ‘time out’? Obviously I’d stay with them. We have a little room I could make into a sensory room eg stress balls, cushions, blankets, optical sensory lights etc.

Or do you give them a discreet telling off and let them stay in the main party room?

As much as possible i’d keep them in the same room.

For two reasons - firstly it takes you away from the party room and all hands on deck is usually best.

Plus being away from everyone gives no back up if the child says you really yelled at them or anything else.
Different with kids you know well, but with wee ones best just to keep it short and simple.

mim321 · 12/09/2021 10:26

I think it was in the M&S book of birthday parties - the mum's handbook in the late 70's early 80's - along with the M&S book on cake decorating which every birthday cake my mum made me came from - lady bird, flower box, butterfly etc etc

Did it have a chocolate house on the front? If so, I've only just disposed of my mum's copy. It was the bible of cakes if you wanted to make a hedgehog or teddy bear.

Mumdiva99 · 12/09/2021 10:30

@mim321 yes. And it had stencils inside to lay over the cake and cut out. These were all in the days of no fondant icing as well...
You could have made a fortune on ebay with that!!! Lol.

mumwon · 12/09/2021 10:35

when our ds was 7 he loved football -if your ds likes football parties
we hired his primary school field had use of outside loos & made picnic eats which they sat on field to eat -
For your party make sure you have quiet games like sleeping lions for when they get hyper ASK if any of the mums can help supervise games particularly if they are your friends & give them prosciutto when the dc have tea - recognise some mums make bring younger dc so

check if any child has allergy or has any reason for not eating food (vegetarians for instance -jelly usually has gelatine) ditto drinks

SwanShaped · 12/09/2021 10:36

How long do you find games take? Eg pass the parcel or musical bumps. Cupcake decorating?

traumatisednoodle · 12/09/2021 10:40

10 minutes a game really

traumatisednoodle · 12/09/2021 10:41

Some longer some shorter (pin the x is a short one).