Kids party etiquette AIBU and best party tips

[StrangeToSee]

So DS will have his first (age 6) party at our home soon. I’ve only done soft-play parties before. Terrified!

How do you stop 10 little boys trashing your house? How do you calm them down?

On invitations I said parents welcome to stay (mentioned Prosecco and food) or drop off. How many do you think will stay? Hoping lots stay! It’s only 2 hours.

Pass the parcel: is it ok to look to ensure all get a turn and your kid doesn’t get the prize or is it meant to be random?

Is it ok for your kid to win any games? Eg musical statues or should you pull them out?

What’s the etiquette with gifts, do you put them out of reach so birthday boy doesn’t open them in front of friends?

Is ok to make everyone take shoes off (I offer disposable pop socks for anyone worried about bare feet)?

How do you deal if kids act up? Have you ever sent a kid home for bad behaviour?

I’ve planned games but also free play (garden if warm) but do I let them charge upstairs too?

@SwanShaped

How long do you find games take? Eg pass the parcel or musical bumps. Cupcake decorating?

Games take 10 mins (or less). Any longer and they get bored. If they are loving it you can stretch it out (especially musical bumps and the likes “Oh was it Billy or Sarah…. Hmm I don’t know, we’ll have to go again….. oh my goodness you are all SO fast I couldn’t even see…” )

Cupcake decorating would take way longer, but I couldn’t estimate as I don’t dare do crafty stuff after a disaster (caused by my own child so don’t panic anyone!)

I would say ten minutes maximum. Have the next one ready to go straight away.

Ok, 10 mins a game is ok. Plus snack and cupcake decorating. Either that or I just send all the kids to OP’s who will be an expert!

Ok, 10 mins a game is ok. Plus snack and cupcake decorating. Either that or I just send all the kids to OP’s who will be an expert!

😂 Or I’ll be so wrecked I resort to soft play/hall hire only after this one 😂

Cup cake decorating sounds good but messy! How do you stop them emptying entire tubs of sprinkles etc and getting icing on the wall?

My biggest mistake was worrying about it- once the plan is in place and you have everything you need you will be absolutely fine and the thing I underestimated was how much the children enjoyed themselves. They also don't forget these parties and when they are adults still have fond recollections. We did them at a time when almost all kids parties were at McDonalds and kids were bored of going to them.

Yes, it’s true about the memories. It’s so nice to be able to have parties now. My three year old has never been to one! So I am also excited for them to be doing something fun with their friends. It’s the first school party he’s had coz he’s only just gone into year 1. There wasn’t any last year.

I would make up plates with a selection of cake decorations and an uniced cake, and give one to each child. Icing in the middle with a spoon. Don't try and pipe it - I'd do a thick royal icing from a packet, put a bit of clingfilm over it so it won't dry out and do well in advance. Have an example of a finished cake for them to look at.

Sit with them at the table and do one with them. Lots of praise. Plastic tablecloth.

Personally I've always steered clear of it at parties (have done it at playdate) because I've laid the kitchen table with plates/decorations and I wouldn't have space.

Yeah our house isn’t a huge house. We’ll already have to move the dining table out of the dining room to do the party in. I don’t want them in my living room coz I have lots of pictures up and plants. Hoping weather is ok and they can go in the garden and hopefully not trash my garden. I’m actually mainly worried about my plants!!!

Cup cake decorating sounds good but messy! How do you stop them emptying entire tubs of sprinkles etc and getting icing on the wall?

Paper plate each with cup cake (or biscuit) on. Cupcake cases X3 on each plate. You hold the tubs of sprinkles and give each child a small amount of their 3 choosen ones into their cup cake cases.

I would have rainbow strands
Silver balls
Jelly tots
Chocolate buttons
Possibly chocolate strands

Just found this that I'd have to have

Food - make up individual food boxes with a drink inside before the party. Then just whip out when it's tea time.

Anything else is chaos (and more mess) unless you have a team of people on standby to lay the table and make sure everyone gets what they want.

What are everyone’s biggest mistakes they made?

My biggest mistake the first time I did a child's party at home was to make it three hours long. What on earth was I thinking? I later went to another party where they had made the same mistake (theirs was in a hall though) and sympathised strongly - it was their first rodeo as well.

@StrangeToSee

If you have the space I would do bouncy castle, pinata, water balloons or little pistols, and maybe a magician (my parents got one when I was five and it blew my mind) can you do everything outside?

We have a big garden but it slopes too much for a bouncy castle (it’s like a hill!) Or I’d definitely get a bouncy castle.
Piñata is that where you hang a hollow thing from a tree and they all bash it with sticks? Then they all scrabble for the contents when it breaks? I like the idea but not sure 10 boys with sticks would behave? Can imagine someone getting a black eye 🤭

Water pistols probably no as my DD (7) recently stalked and soaked the next door neighbour through a trellis! And if they all get wet I’d have to find 10 spare outfits when they come in.

Problem with our garden is it’s quite steep and rocky, so we can do some games out there but they’ll need close supervision due to various hazards. And if it rains I’m screwed!

Magician sounds cool. I’ll look into that. DH is good at illusion tricks but they’d probably guess it was him 😂

Just one stick!! They take turns after being spun around to make them dizzy. Agree ten sticks is too many and would be an absolute disaster! Piñatas usually come in a fun shape too, like a character from a show (SpongeBob etc)

We had some amazing parties for my ds from aged 1 until he was 12 - last one Year 7. Some in cinemas, bowling alley, laser quest etc. I've never had a house party apart from a family one when ds was 1 but I had a couple of similar ones to yours in our church hall. Your ideas sound good. Don't overthink the games, just have plenty to do. I don't think sweets are required every time a child is out of a game. I would try to avoid party child winning any game but not pulling them out of they are obviously still in! I think a holding activity as they arrive is ideal as they won't all arrive together. Something like colour your own hat/placemat- Baker Ross is great for things like that. Also, arrival time they will all be excited and that's the time that if you don't have an activity to direct them to it could get very messy very quickly! I wouldn't personally ask people to remove their shoes much as I might like it and I would definitely allow, adults to use the upstairs toilet. Tip for future:Don't invite parents next time. I think it's easier without parents potentially watching your every move plus kids can't run to mum crying if they're out of a game. I'm sure it will all go really well and hope your ds has a lovely birthday.

Enjoy those family socialising kids go off and play toddler parties! They do not last and are in no way comparable to hosting 10 plus 6 year old classmates! You properly have to step up and cannot relax in a garden with your mates whilst the moppets amuse themselves! Take heart once they hit 12 they don’t want you involved at all which is half a blessed relief and half abit sad!

Recently learnt (5 year olds) that if you do games ensure they all win prizes and not just the winner. Went to a party yesterday and the entertainer gave sweet prizes for those who were out and a toy prize for the winners! No tears and everyone happy!!! They even had an item like a hat that every kid had and when they were out they took it off so that they could still join in but not get a further prize (if that makes sense!). It was genius and I wish we had done that!

@traumatisednoodle

We've had DSs 3rd and 4th birthday parties in the garden. Parents stayed and we had a bbq, lots of food for everyone. Took longer than 2 hours, though. Usually from 2pm until about 8pm. The kids mostly just entertained themselves. We have a trampoline, swings, climbing frame, slide, sandpit and a pool in the garden. We also get the bouncy castle out for parties

3/4 year old parties as you describe are completly different. In terms of development it's like telling my 14yo that her 9 year old cousin loved her build a bear party. 6/7 year olds need structure 3 year olds not so much.

Thanks. I teach 6-year-olds. Most of them have exactly those types of parties and several of my boys in particular would think games are lame. They like to run about and don't want to be bothered by having to sit down and do things. Might just be our area. It's the done thing here to just let the kids play.