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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to end it over this?

700 replies

ilovehalloumi · 11/09/2021 06:36

Been seeing a lovely bloke for 3/4 months, all going well. Treats me great, loads in common, fantastic sex.

Took me out for dinner tonight, ended up in a few cocktail bars, both got fairly drunk.

Got back to mine, went to bed, I woke up a couple of hours later to him PISSING IN THE CORNER OF MY ROOM!!

He's stayed over a few times, definitely knows where the bathroom is.

I'm properly grossed out, obviously when he wakes he will be cleaning it up. I've hardly slept because I feel properly furious.

WIBU to tell him to leave and not come back? I've texted my bestie but since it's 6.30am I imagine she won't reply for a while.....so I'm asking you Mumsnet

OP posts:
HandyGirl76 · 12/09/2021 17:44

My friend did this when he was sleepwalking

masterblaster · 12/09/2021 17:45

YABVU he’s sleepwalking / confused.

Alleycat1 · 12/09/2021 17:46

My exDH peed in the wardrobe on our honeymoon. He was utterly mortified and it never happened again.

smilingontheinside · 12/09/2021 17:47

My son did this when drunk and his mate pissed in his wardrobe when staying over. It's not the end of the world don't give up a good relationship for a drunken mishap there are worse things.

Insertcreativenamehere · 12/09/2021 17:49

Guys do this when drunk. You’re overreacting. I’ve known it with my own boyfriends and those of friends over the years. I’m sure he’ll be suitably humiliated anyway poor guy

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 12/09/2021 17:51

I've had to stop DH going into his wardrobe for a wee several times and I once watched a male friend who was very drunk lift up a seat of an armchair to have a wee. Is it a man thing to forget where the toilet is?

Shell4429 · 12/09/2021 17:51

I very much doubt he did that on purpose! Poor bloke probably didn’t realise and will be mortified. It’s quite common for men to do this when drunk. Just don’t let him get drunk again!

Roxy69 · 12/09/2021 17:52

You did the right thing, nothing can be worse than this, thankfully you saw him.

Toomuchtooyoung01 · 12/09/2021 17:52

Totally gross but I don’t think he would have done this on purpose, I have definitely heard of exceptionally drunk men weeing in wardrobes etc thinking they’ve walked into the bathroom.

Cherryberrybonbon · 12/09/2021 17:52

YABU for sure….. I too would be grossed out by it but it’s really common my partner has done it in the laundry bin and he was mortified when I grabbed him mid trickle and woke him up, he dreamt he was in the toilet. If you like him, see past it but make sure he cleans it up, he will probably be mortified too! If he laughs it off though I would consider whether he is the one 🙈

Angel2702 · 12/09/2021 17:53

I think it’s a bit harsh for something done unintentionally whilst not fully awake.

Have you never had the dream where you dream you are on the toilet and wake just in time?

Whinge · 12/09/2021 17:53

@Shell4429

I very much doubt he did that on purpose! Poor bloke probably didn’t realise and will be mortified. It’s quite common for men to do this when drunk. Just don’t let him get drunk again!
I'm interested to know why you think it's the OPs responsibility to stop a grown man from getting drunk. Confused
NKfffffffffcc6c33bX12743bba435 · 12/09/2021 17:55

I don’t think this is the worst crime ever. Do you love him? I’m sure he is mortified? Why ask opinions on here rather than have the conversation with himself when he wakes up? I think that if you are on here rather than talking it out then That’s the problem? Communication is what you need.

DevonBelles · 12/09/2021 17:56

My dear old Dad did this once in the hallway. Mum went spare, but he was half asleep. Years on they laughed about it.

HeddaGarbled · 12/09/2021 17:57

Blimey! I have never had a boyfriend who has done this and nor have any of my friends or family told me about it happening to them.

Where on earth are you all finding these barbarians?

luciferWasAnAngelToo · 12/09/2021 17:57

Sooo I’m actually now 14 years into a relationship that started like this. 2 very separate occasions of him being totally drunk. Bday party, piddled in corner of room and I awoke.
Next time we stayed at his mates after a Christmas party, and he went into his mates cupboard and wee’d.

It’s not happened for many moons, and we have two beautiful children. Who don’t appear to have followed in daddy’s footsteps 😉

It may be a one off, like some people pass out after drinking or puke or whatever. Maybe, if you’re keen, don’t judge on this one off. But do speak to him x

ellyeth · 12/09/2021 17:58

I've heard of several stories like this. It appears that some men, after drinking too much, are in a half asleep and half awake state.

I would certainly be upset but I don't think this would be grounds for breaking up with someone. As somebody else said, just a lesson for both of you not to drink so much. If after speaking to him, he again drinks too much a repeats this, then it would seem this partnership if just not for you.

FrozenWillow · 12/09/2021 17:58

Was he spiked with something?

My partner of 21 years did this at the beginning of our relationship and we later found out he had been spiked with an ecstasy tablet after a night out.

I got up to hear the sound of water dripping, so of course I went to check - thinking maybe the celling had got a hole in it or something. My partner was standing in the middle of his bedroom peeing and when I tried to confront him he said "Want to get out of the bathroom? I'm trying to pee here"

I did not let it go, so the next morning when he was sober, I confronted him and he was absolutely mortified that he'd done that. So maybe your new fella has been spiked with something? Approach him about it, but don't end the relationship if he reacts to your confrontation the way mine did.

If he is all blaze about it though, I'd definitely end it there and then and you WNBU.

Tevion28 · 12/09/2021 17:59

I would give him a second chance on this

dworky · 12/09/2021 17:59

I know of a few men who do this when drunk & not fully awake. Women tend to wet the bed.

Yehbut · 12/09/2021 18:01

Yeh it happens not a reason to dump. Just make sure it doesn’t happen again, like if he gets up in the night make sure he goes to the bathroom. It nearly happened to me once. I managed to stop him just in time.

Ginqueen1 · 12/09/2021 18:01

My Dad my brother my husband have all done this at some stage. I remember my Mam shouting at my Dad and he was in the hallway going for a wee he was fast asleep. My brother went into his in-laws bedroom and got into their bed fully naked one night. My husband has done it when we were away I shouted at him and guided him into the bathroom he had no recollection the next morning. It is gross but seems to be very common. He cleaned it up he was probably so embarrassed this morning so was a little defensive but has apologised now. I would go easy on him

bitteroulbag · 12/09/2021 18:04

One of my pals did this decades ago when we were all students. He was absolutely mortified and all witnesses were sworn to secrecy. It took several years for him to find out that everyone knew when he was on a banter anecdote roll and my sis said “Tell us about the one who pissed in the corner!! Who was that?!” His face!! Grin He is now extremely famous and respectable and house-trained. Wink Forgive and move on.

Snoopsnoggysnog · 12/09/2021 18:06

Not read whole thread but I think you really sound like you’ve got your head screwed on OP and you will follow your gut on this one.

I think his reaction and follow up apology wasn’t good enough.
A friend’s ex did this once when we were in our 20s and living with parents. He pissed all over her mums living room!
So I don’t think it’s that uncommon but he was an absolute twat anyway so I wasn’t even that surprised by his behaviour.

bubblebath62636 · 12/09/2021 18:09

My ex did this, he also shit himself once. He was a raging alcoholic and would sleepwalk at his worst.

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