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AIBU?

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Original poster

WIBU to end it over this?

700 replies

ilovehalloumi · 11/09/2021 06:36

Been seeing a lovely bloke for 3/4 months, all going well. Treats me great, loads in common, fantastic sex.

Took me out for dinner tonight, ended up in a few cocktail bars, both got fairly drunk.

Got back to mine, went to bed, I woke up a couple of hours later to him PISSING IN THE CORNER OF MY ROOM!!

He's stayed over a few times, definitely knows where the bathroom is.

I'm properly grossed out, obviously when he wakes he will be cleaning it up. I've hardly slept because I feel properly furious.

WIBU to tell him to leave and not come back? I've texted my bestie but since it's 6.30am I imagine she won't reply for a while.....so I'm asking you Mumsnet

OP posts:
Chocaholic9 · 11/09/2021 12:10

I'm shocked at the amount of people who think this is acceptable behaviour for adults to piss on the carpet. If you have done this before while drinking, maybe it's time to give being teetotal a try?

HintofVintagePink · 11/09/2021 12:11

I can’t believe the number of posters who think pissing on a floor, bed, drawer etc is excusable because of alcohol. It isn’t. It’s animalistic and disgusting.

Chocaholic9 · 11/09/2021 12:13

@HintofVintagePink

I can’t believe the number of posters who think pissing on a floor, bed, drawer etc is excusable because of alcohol. It isn’t. It’s animalistic and disgusting.
Totally agree. I could never again respect a man who got so drunk he peed on my belongings or on my carpet.

Honestly it's threads like these that put me off dating, presumably men like this are out there.

DishingOutDone · 11/09/2021 12:13

@Lunificent

I think he will remain equally unrepentant. He probably thinks you owe him an apology for overreacting.
Looks like the OP feels the same way so that's them sorted ... Hmm
TILFA · 11/09/2021 12:14

This reply has been deleted

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CatJumperTwat · 11/09/2021 12:16

Good grief, some of you need to raise your standards.

Don't let anyone make you second-guess yourself, ilovehalloumi. Leave well alone unless he grovels... and even then I personally wouldn't be taking him back.

Bywayofanupdate · 11/09/2021 12:18

My ex did this as well, sleep walking while drunk and he thought he was in the bathroom. Only happened once. I wouldn't end it, if it's something he can't control. If it happens again maybe but not if it's a one off and everything else sounds great. I'm sure he'll be mortified.

LimeRedBanana · 11/09/2021 12:18

I can’t believe there are people coming onto this thread trying to paint this as within the realms of ‘normal’.

I have run with many groups of people in my time who’ve - let’s just say - enjoyed a drink or four.

In my nearly 50 years on the planet, only once have I encountered someone who’s pissed inside in a place other than a toilet.

And he was a grim, sub-standard specimen of a ‘man’ that I didn’t hang around to get to know.

Once. It’s really not even bordering on ‘normal’.

Come on, OP.

You know in your heart of hearts that this isn’t OK, or you wouldn’t have posted.

Who cares if he’s embarrassed and defensive? WTF cares? Anything less than a genuine apology and ownership of it earns instant dismissal.

I can’t believe someone on here has got you thinking you need to call him.

Summon your dignity, please.

There are plenty more fish in the sea.

mugcupwhatever · 11/09/2021 12:21

I've seen this happen twice.. Once it was a friend's boyfriend who came into the room I was sleeping in in the middle of the night and thought he was in the toilet. The other time it was my ds in the closet.
So.. It's not that uncommon. He was sleepwalking and probably mortified.

LimeRedBanana · 11/09/2021 12:22

@mugcupwhatever

I've seen this happen twice.. Once it was a friend's boyfriend who came into the room I was sleeping in in the middle of the night and thought he was in the toilet. The other time it was my ds in the closet. So.. It's not that uncommon. He was sleepwalking and probably mortified.
If it’s happened twice in your life, it’s very uncommon.
LimitIsUp · 11/09/2021 12:25

I do think some of the pearl clutchers on this thread who 'frankly have never heard of such a thing' should educate themselves. Try google

LimitIsUp · 11/09/2021 12:28

LimeRedBanana - so you have come across one person who admits to this.... and? Do you honestly believe that everyone wants to freely disclose embarrassing and personal information about themselves?

HintofVintagePink · 11/09/2021 12:31

@LimitIsUp

I do think some of the pearl clutchers on this thread who 'frankly have never heard of such a thing' should educate themselves. Try google
We’ve all heard of it and can comprehend what someone having a wee in the corner of a room looks like.

Those posters aren’t saying they don’t believe it; they are saying it’s gross, not ‘normal’ and isn’t behaviour that should be excused by alcohol. You don’t need to experience something to know it’s disgusting. If you read the thread in full you will see plenty of posters who have experienced it and still find it unacceptable.

It’s nothing to do with education. But nice chip in with the pearl clutching comment.

MrsLCSofLichfield · 11/09/2021 12:32

Yeah, sure it's 'pearl-clutching' to think it's not normal or acceptable for a grown man to piss in the corner of your bedroom Hmm

Snoozer11 · 11/09/2021 12:33

I think it's worse that you've just left it overnight to be honest. Why didn't you kick off and wake him up when you realised.

The problem is much worse now.

He won't have done this on purpose but you've purposefully allowed his drunken piss to swap into your carpet and floorboards for hours.

SylvanasWindrunner · 11/09/2021 12:34

It's not really about being so pissed you can't control yourself though. The peeing when asleep because you think you're in the bathroom is a form of sleepwalking and different from coming home blitzed and wetting yourself because you've lost control or can't make it to the toilet. In the mind of the sleepwalking person, they have got up and gone to the bathroom. When my ex did it, he wasn't falling about drunk or anything. We went to bed as normal, but there was obviously some combination of having some alcohol, being in a different place, and possibly being tired as he hadn't slept much the night before, and he absolutely was not awake or aware at the time. He couldn't understand why I was shouting at him to stop because he believed he was just peeing in the toilet.

It never happened again, even when he had been way more drunk, so it was obviously just some combination of factors.

Of course it's not nice, but human bodies aren't very nice sometimes 🤷‍♀️

DoesHePlayTheFiddle · 11/09/2021 12:35

Don't let people gaslight you into accepting this. It might happen from time to time but that doesn't make it normal or acceptable. Does his piss in the corner at his own house? I'll bet he doesn't. Get rid.

SylvanasWindrunner · 11/09/2021 12:38

Also I read an article a while ago about how it's particularly common in hotels (and a couple of PPs mentioned their experiences in hotels), so there's definitely something about being in a different/unusual place I think that can trigger it. So he probably doesn't do it at home, no.

takehomepay · 11/09/2021 12:39

Does his piss in the corner at his own house? I'll bet he doesn't.

💯 agree

LimpLettice · 11/09/2021 12:39

A friend of mine was married to a bloke who did this a few times before they tied the knot. Ten years later she was getting him to sleep in the bath every time he had a drink. He pissed their bed, in the wardrobe, on the carpet, down the stairs, you name it. She spent years begging him not to drink, embarrassed at the stink...and he did grovel, did apologise, but did not stop drinking. She divorced him, but this would be a massive deal breaker for me unless there were major apologies and a curb on the booze.

Blackkbird · 11/09/2021 12:41

@MrsIsobelCrawley

Bitterness is not good for you or your kids.
Eh?
I8toys · 11/09/2021 12:43

YABU total overreaction. Probably sleep peeing

Isis1981uk · 11/09/2021 12:44

I think it would be unreasonable - whenever my old housemate got really drunk he'd pee on the coffee table or corner of his bedroom because he wasn't fully awake or aware of what he was doing. Laugh it off this one time, make him clean it thoroughly, and try to avoid him getting that drunk! If he's great in every other way, breaking up over this would be a massive overreaction imo!

snowgirl1 · 11/09/2021 12:45

It could've been worse - I heard of a situation when a guy peed in his girlfriend's bedroom sleepwalking when drunk, but woke up midway through realised he'd really messed up and needed to fix it, so in his drunken state decided the best solution was to cut the pee soaked section out of the carpet, so his girlfriend woke up to a hole in the bedroom carpet Grin

starfishmummy · 11/09/2021 12:45

@MsMoody

This thread makes me so glad I’m not in a relationship with a man!
I have known a woman walk into a large walk in wardrobe in a hotel room....it wasn't a wee that she did. (Wasn't me, I was a room mate). She was told to deal with it in no uncertain terms.