I'm a non-confrontational wuss... how to deal with a parking issue??

[cricketmum84]

For the last 3 weeks we haven't been able to have our bins emptied on a morning.

This is because the new nobber neighbours boyfriend has taken to parking his scrap van right on the end of our very narrow street (which is a cul de sac)This means that anyone turning on or off our street has to be incredibly careful because you can't see if something is coming the other way.

However it also means that the bin wagon can't access our street on bin day.

Nobber neighbour knows this because she has started taking her bin right to the end of the street past nobber boyfriends van so hers will get emptied. This is very annoying!

Nobber boyfriend is quite aggressive so none of us non-nobber neighbours have dared approach nobber boyfriend.

Can't put a note on the van or through their door as they have cctv so will see who it is.

Short of writing a letter and posting it to them (yes I did say I am a non-confrontational wuss) what do we do??

To the tune of London’s burning

Nobber neighbour, Nobber Neighbour
No fire engines, no fire engines
Wanker wanker, wanker wanker
Pop his tyres, pop his tyres

Nobber Neighbour, Nobber Neighbour
Make a Di’gram, make a Di’gram
Fucker fucker, fucker fucker
Call the police, call the police

Me and DP spent a long time deciding if fire is one or two syllables, and whether it should therefore be wanker or prat

You lot are nobbers, bloody humongous little donkey with bin lyrics now. Thanks.

Op, being a coward I would mention to all NNN that you are really worried about fire engine/ambulance not getting through with any luck this will spur on a NNN to act.

I'd be tempted to move NN's bin the other side of the massive van, so it doesn't get emptied either. Or get some friends that live elsewhere to do it, if you're worried about repercussions.

If NN complains their bin isn't emptied, you can say "I know, right? Ours didn't get emptied either, what a bummer."

@Spanielsarepainless

Same problem here. Council and police did nothing, even though it was the council's bin lorry that couldn't manoeuvre around. It's a moron car dealer who stores his vehicles on the public highway. There were eleven at one stage, so no parking for anyone else. And another aggressive bloke and his felonious son.

We had this, sells from Facebook, he parked all his cars down our road, but actually lived 3 miles away! We traced him by looking for cars for sale, and cross checking with the car on the street. Informed trading standards, cars all mysteriously disappeared.

@FelicityBeedle

To the tune of London’s burning

Nobber neighbour, Nobber Neighbour
No fire engines, no fire engines
Wanker wanker, wanker wanker
Pop his tyres, pop his tyres

Nobber Neighbour, Nobber Neighbour
Make a Di’gram, make a Di’gram
Fucker fucker, fucker fucker
Call the police, call the police

Me and DP spent a long time deciding if fire is one or two syllables, and whether it should therefore be wanker or prat

😂😂😂

@cricketmum84

As requested.

The sacred MN parking diagram.

Superb diagram!

Clear, concise, beautifully illustrated and very legible.

Not a wasted word or an unnecessary stick man - perfect.

Torch the van? (Asking for a friend)

@DobbyTheHouseElk

How do the other NDN bins get emptied and why aren’t you all complaining to council/police about lack of services and emergency vehicles access

It's NNN (Non Nobber Neighbours)

They haven't. The ones that I know (we have a big population of non English speaking residents here) are just reporting the missed bin collection and are as wussy as me.

I've reported to the council this morning so let's see if they do anything!

Slightly wondering if I turned up in my wheelchair and didn't put any make up on he might feel sorry for but I darent risk it 😂

And thank you for all the diagram love!

He is illegally park as it is obstructing emergency access it is a police matter - not sure where you are but 101 or report online

To the tune of Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer...

Nobber the nobby neighbour
With his very crappy van
Likes to obstruct bin lorries
Because he’s a nob and he can

All of the other neighbours
Used to be annoyed with him
Because the nobby neighbour
Stopped the council emptying their bins

Then one foggy winter’s eve, neighbours came to say…
Nobber with your van so white
Won’t you leave and take your shite?

Then how the neighbours partied
When the nobber moved away
Enjoying their bin lorry access
And peaceful nights and days

@YellowSunshineSky

To the tune of Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer...

Nobber the nobby neighbour
With his very crappy van
Likes to obstruct bin lorries
Because he’s a nob and he can

All of the other neighbours
Used to be annoyed with him
Because the nobby neighbour
Stopped the council emptying their bins

Then one foggy winter’s eve, neighbours came to say…
Nobber with your van so white
Won’t you leave and take your shite?

Then how the neighbours partied
When the nobber moved away
Enjoying their bin lorry access
And peaceful nights and days

Omg I'm actually crying 😂😂😂

Is nobber boyfriend's van fully taxed and MOT'd? It would be an awful shame if it wasn't and it got reported to the authorities...

vehicleenquiry.service.gov.uk/

Loving the Nobber Neighbour Christmas songs!

I think I like @Outbutnotoutout suggestion the most so far

Especially if you can stand there shaking your head sadly as the NobberWagon burns saying
Oh , if only there was a way for the FireEngine to get down the road.It would've been saved. Never mind

Nothing constructive to add but my favourite word is now nobber. And that diagram is exceptional.

@LuaDipa

Nothing constructive to add but my favourite word is now nobber. And that diagram is exceptional.

(Takes a bow) 😂

Ooooh

Does he have a waste carrier's license?

Because if not.... Wouldn't be a shame if he was reported?

@Pennineway2021

I know this won't necessarily solve your problem but you can get them privately emptied for £25 each bin. I sometimes have to do this when the binvan comes at 6 am and I've not put it out yet. Google waste deposal.

I wish more people knew this and then we could have cleaner environments and less apathy leading to rats.

the fuck am I paying £25 to get a bin emptied, when I already pay my taxes!

And you can just report it as not being picked up… they’ll come the next day

@Itsnotallaboutyoubaby

And you can just report it as not being picked up… they’ll come the next day

Not here unfortunately. I think they must be struggling for staff as each time we have reported I just get an email saying they will collect on the next scheduled collection day. DH has been taking recycling to the local tip as our recycling bins are overflowing!

It's also a shame that the bin men are so passive. Ours would be knocking on the door and asking him to move the van (I have seen this on our cul-de-sac) rather than just shrugging their shoulders. OK if there was no response, but they could at least try! Also quite often someone comes round in a smaller council van first and moves all the waste bags to one end.

We can also take black bag waste to the tip if we miss a collection on holiday or something. Recycling is more of a pain as several types of items are collected together which have to be separated at the tip, so I tend to just wait for the next collection of that.

Good point about the waste carriers licence. You can check here environment.data.gov.uk/public-register/view/search-waste-carriers-brokers

Have you considered contacting your local councillor (parish/town). If parking there is such an issue they may be able to lobby for double yellows put down (assuming he's parked there legally at the moment)

Can you not take that parking spot for a few days when the van is gone? It doesn't solve the parking issue immediately, but it might force him into parking elsewhere for a few days and then you could move your car out on bin morning?

It is a bit of a faff though. Neighbour sounds v annoying.

Excellent diagram. Excellent songs, well done everyone.
Seriously though what a cunt.