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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feed DH the same meal twice?

541 replies

KidsAreMean · 09/09/2021 06:33

DH won't eat the same meal twice in one week. I, personally think it's absolutely bonkers, but apparently MIL never did (I must verify this with her!) and he doesn't like it. Fine. I've got used to it. However, usually during the week, I cook for the DC and will e.g. make a double portion of lunch which we eat 2 days later.
This week I made a massive lasagne. Plan: Monday lunch, Wednesday lunch when DH is home office and then we'd finish the rest Thursday lunch. Except DH has now decided he's working from home today (as well as yesterday). I don't have any other food in apart from eggs which he doesn't like. Else I can make an emergency pasta & tomato sauce - which is basically same as the lasagne!
So AIBU to serve him the lasagne? I'd planned to do the weekly shop tomorrow, going today will inconvenience me next week (even though I'm a sahm).

OP posts:
chipsandgin · 09/09/2021 07:37

Eww. Does it not give you the ick that he’s just replaced his mother with you? It’s very telling that Mummy cooked all his meals and did it a certain way & he expects his replacement Mummy to follow her rules!

If he doesn’t like it then he can get his own fucking food (presuming he knows how shops/fridges/coolers work and is not incapacitated in some way?). Do you also pick up his underwear and iron his shirts & make sure he gets to school on time!? Maybe remind him it’s 2021 not 1950, he’s a grown man and you aren’t actually his Mum. Does he think he’s ‘babysitting’ when he looks after his kids or ‘helping you’ when he does housework or is it just his meal service that is stuck in the past? What message/blueprint do you think this kind of thing gives to your kids?

But in answer to your OP, no - not unreasonable at all!

shouldistop · 09/09/2021 07:38

My dh does the shopping and cooking. I eat whatever he gives me.

Fetchthevet · 09/09/2021 07:39

I'm hoping this is just one of those made up posts to get us all so wound up that we reply. If it is well done, it worked.

AlexaShutUp · 09/09/2021 07:40

He sounds like an arse tbh. I'm sorry. Flowers

I would offer him the lasagna or let him make his own lunch.

Cocomarine · 09/09/2021 07:41

I never one actually voting YABU because you are ridiculous to ever have pandered to this nonsense.

Does this post mean you’re actually going to stop now?

SarahBellam · 09/09/2021 07:41

I assume your husband is a grown functioning adult in which case he can get his own lunch. Either that or you freeze food and bring it out the following week. Mind you, lasagne three times in a week would be a bit much for most people.

bigbaggyeyes · 09/09/2021 07:42

Ha you've got to be kidding me. Tell him it's either lasagne or he sorts himself out. Is he 12

tenredthings · 09/09/2021 07:43

Haha, no way would I put up with that ! Put the lasagne in the blender and call it soup, that'll learn him Wink

Nap1983 · 09/09/2021 07:45

Serve him a kick in the balls…

MrsMaizel · 09/09/2021 07:45

TBH I wouldn't want to eat lasagna from the same batch three times in a week .

saraclara · 09/09/2021 07:46

If he starts, simply tell him that you weren't expecting him to be home today, this was your meal plan for the rest of you, and you're not prepared to throw the lasagne in the bin. He's welcome to make himself something else

MissBattleaxe · 09/09/2021 07:46

YABU for worrying about what to "serve" a grown man in 2021. Food is expensive. He shouldn't be such an emperor about stuff. Don't enable him any further.

20viona · 09/09/2021 07:47

Tell him to cook himself the absolute weapon.

namechange7865 · 09/09/2021 07:47

Good grief op, respect yourself a bit more.

Xtraincome · 09/09/2021 07:47

Your husband wouldn't survive a week here!
My DH is half-Iranian and we have 2 greedy DDs I can make a Persian feast stretch to 3 dinners and a lunch or 2 for me - don't judge me MN! Should my DH not want it he would make something else if he got bored of having it each night.

Your DH is a grown up, tell him to sort himself out. It's 2 nights in a row of a home cooked meal, he is a lucky man.

Hillary17 · 09/09/2021 07:48

Are you joking? If my husband hit me with demands about what he will and won’t eat he’d be making friends with the nearest takeaway. If I cook, I decide. One meal for everyone and if you don’t like it get an apple.

LittleBearPad · 09/09/2021 07:50
Hmm
HoikingUpMyBigGirlPantss · 09/09/2021 07:50

He's a grown man with kids. If he doesn't like it he can cook himself something else.
BTW you have 3 kids, not 2. One is 6ft tall Wink

Bloodypunkrockers · 09/09/2021 07:51

@Fetchthevet

I'm hoping this is just one of those made up posts to get us all so wound up that we reply. If it is well done, it worked.
Quite

Utter tosh

EmeraldRaine · 09/09/2021 07:51

Why isn't the fussy bastard making his own food!!!!

Dillyjones72 · 09/09/2021 07:52

Er, say what now?? I don’t understand why you’re making all meals for another adult. In our house we take turns cooking, and the non-cook takes care of the washing up or the kids do it.
If he doesn’t want to eat what’s available to him then he can make himself something else!
I’m confused about why you’re behaving like it’s the 1950s!

Magenta82 · 09/09/2021 07:52

Why have you gone along with this for so long? You are not his mother and shouldn't have to replace her.

2catsandhappy · 09/09/2021 07:53

Tell him to go to the kitchen and sort his lunch out himself. And warn him not to trip over his pile of ironing that he needs to do.
ok so presuming a bit there.
Seriously though, he changed his plans and didn't give you enough notice to come up with a plan B.
His problem, not yours.

Babymamamama · 09/09/2021 07:53

This kind of thread makes me despair for the patriarchal society in which we live. I pray my daughter never have to be subjected to this. My mother lived like this and as a reaction I have rejected these gender specific roles as much as I can. They are rarely reversed!

BadLad · 09/09/2021 07:55

I read the title and thought you were making him eat his own shit.