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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feed DH the same meal twice?

541 replies

KidsAreMean · 09/09/2021 06:33

DH won't eat the same meal twice in one week. I, personally think it's absolutely bonkers, but apparently MIL never did (I must verify this with her!) and he doesn't like it. Fine. I've got used to it. However, usually during the week, I cook for the DC and will e.g. make a double portion of lunch which we eat 2 days later.
This week I made a massive lasagne. Plan: Monday lunch, Wednesday lunch when DH is home office and then we'd finish the rest Thursday lunch. Except DH has now decided he's working from home today (as well as yesterday). I don't have any other food in apart from eggs which he doesn't like. Else I can make an emergency pasta & tomato sauce - which is basically same as the lasagne!
So AIBU to serve him the lasagne? I'd planned to do the weekly shop tomorrow, going today will inconvenience me next week (even though I'm a sahm).

OP posts:
ahste · 09/09/2021 07:17
Confused
peachycream31 · 09/09/2021 07:17

Everybody was always going to say it's wrong to feed him at all, let alone pander to him.

You know YANBU to say you're home for lunch unexpectedly so this is what there is.

Tell him first thing. Then if he wants he can go to the shop and get something for a sandwich.

Just be blunt. 'Sorry, that's what I'm having. Shopping tomorrow.'

speakout · 09/09/2021 07:18

You "feed" a grown man?......

Divebar2021 · 09/09/2021 07:18

Well I’m impressed you cooked a lasagna for lunch. Does that mean you cook again in the evening or is it more like beans on toast?
Anyway your DH sounds like a PITA. Leftovers are fantastic …. I’m so happy when I have something I can reheat. Hugh Fearnly Whittinstall even did a cookery book on leftovers. In our house I buy the main food from the supermarket and if the family tell me what they want I’ll get it, otherwise it’s my choice. DH pops in and buys additional bits he fancies or which may be on offer. I always keep bread and bread type products in ( like bagels) and both DH & DD9 will sort their own lunch out. I’m not running a 24hour cafe. Cooking dinner is a shared responsibility.

SoundBar · 09/09/2021 07:19

Sheesh. Does he not know how to make a sandwich?!

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 09/09/2021 07:19

Like a couple of others I voted YABU because WTAF are you doing serving and feeding a grown man? Unless he has literally lost the use of both his legs and his arms, he can presumably get off his backside and serve himself whatever he damn well likes for lunch as long as he makes it and washes up after himself.

I'm really hoping that you're winding us up in some way, OP, because if not this is just too depressing for words.

fluffythedragonslayer · 09/09/2021 07:20

@femfemlicious

OP I wonder why you brought this question here. You must have known what we would all sayGrin.
Yeh strange huh
Wole · 09/09/2021 07:21

Lasagne or he can sort it himself. Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

billyt · 09/09/2021 07:21

I must be doing something wrong OP as I'm a bloke and I will happily eat the same meal, from leftovers, several days running. Whatever it is. I've usually cooked it anyway because I enjoy it.

My BIL (and my SIL lately) is a bit like your OH but then he's a dick in general. The only time their shopping cost changes is if the price of the stuff has changed. They literally buy the same.thing.every.week, have the same meals by day so if it's Monday it's ..., if it's Tues then this.

He's retired now but apparently the timings were so exact that the microwave practically pinged as he walked in from work every day (SIL was like a housewife from the 1930s and were not cooks, by the way)

Life is too short for any of that shit.

If he won't eat leftovers then his problem.

MilduraS · 09/09/2021 07:22

Not unreasonable to serve the same again or he could pop to the shops and buy himself a meal deal sandwich. I had an ex who never wanted the same meal twice so it doesn't seem too strange to me. It was a preference rather than a rule. The funny thing is that I got so used to it that it was about 5 years after our breakup that I realised I could eat something two days in a row because I didn't care myself.

EloiseBridgerton · 09/09/2021 07:25

Sorry but what the actual f…!?! Tough, he cooks himself or eats what you cook. This is total madness!

Iloveacurry · 09/09/2021 07:25

He can either eat the lasagna or sort himself out. Don’t go shopping.

HighlandCowbag · 09/09/2021 07:26

Da fuq have I just read? Is this mn 1950s? Are you one of those tradwives?

ifonly4 · 09/09/2021 07:26

He's really lucky to have the offer of a homemade lunch. There are alternatives - eggs, something out of the freezer and cooks it himself, makes a sandwich/toast (assuming you have bread) or goes without.

hellcatspangle · 09/09/2021 07:28

@BarbaraofSeville nothing wrong with leftovers for lunch, maybe I misunderstood the op but I thought she'd made the huge lasagne for Monday lunch (and wed/Thursday!)

BishBashBoshBush · 09/09/2021 07:28

Does he have arms?

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 09/09/2021 07:28

Why are you making his lunches Confused

ShingleBeach · 09/09/2021 07:29

Does he get a hot cooked meal when he goes to the office?

pilates · 09/09/2021 07:30

He has a choice eat the lasagne or make something/go to the shops and get something. This is a non-issue.

RubyGoat · 09/09/2021 07:31

My DH is like this with a lot of foods. I don't pander to it though, he gets his own food or goes without. I properly lost my rag about it a few years ago when he started whining about there being "nothing in" - we had a full fridge, freezer & fully stocked cupboards. He meant there was nothing he could just heat up in the oven or microwave, because yet again he hadn't bothered to think about it when we went shopping & I'm not psychic. I'm not his mother, or the maid, & I refuse to plan his meals for him. I tried to help, made a month long adjustable plan of things he liked & regularly eats, he said I was being controlling.

Life's too short for that shit.

ScatteredMama82 · 09/09/2021 07:32

You are being unreasonable to even be thinking about this! He can sort himself out. Good grief!

RocketPanda · 09/09/2021 07:34

My eyes rolled so hard I saw my brain. Cut this shit out. If someone has made a meal for you the only appropriate response is thank you. He's not grateful for your effort so he can use his hands and serve himself.

RantyAunty · 09/09/2021 07:34

His MIL did?
WTF? You aren't his mother!

How can you be the slightest bit attracted to him when he behaves as a child?

Oblomov21 · 09/09/2021 07:36

This is mad. He's unreasonable.

But I wouldn't like to eat it as often as you do. Or did I misunderstand. Are you having it 3 times? - Monday lunch, Wednesday lunch when DH is home office and then we'd finish the rest Thursday lunch."

I don't like to eat something more than once it twice.

Normally I cook 2 huge lasagnes but 1 I freeze. And out of that first tray there's only enough for one dinner for the 4 of us, and a tiny bit leftover for me to take to work for lunch the next day.

Plus why have you so little food in the fridge. Only eggs? Or is money tight and you just can't afford it right now? No other food in the house? I always have lots of food in the fridge, even before food shopping. Plus food in the cupboards and in the freezer so there's always some thing to eat.

WhatsTheBFD · 09/09/2021 07:37

YABU for pandering to this bollocks.

He doesn’t want it, he can make himself something else.